37 - The Umbrella Of Your Lies

[worldofourown]

[ What. The. Fuck. ]

WHY WOULD I HOST MY OWN COOKING SHOW?!

I DON'T EVEN EAT!!!



[OOC: Disclaimer. The image is from Deviantart. Not mine, but ain't it shiny? c: ]

Comments

[onset]

You don't even eat.

[o
kay]

[worldofourown]

Yes. That's what I said.

[ He's a vampire. Undead. Thing 8( ]

[onset]

That's. Unfortunate?

[worldofourown]

[ He snorts. ]

Hardly. If anything it's liberating. No stomach viruses. No heartburn.

[onset]

I suppose not. I take it you're on a different kind of diet.

[worldofourown]

Quite right.

Fresh blood. Straight from the fount.

[onset]

[he clears his throat.] The fount being-?

[worldofourown]

Oh. You know.

[ He makes a slashing gesture across the neck. ]

[onset]

[That looks pleasant.]

Like... a vampire.

[worldofourown]

[ It's even more fun when the blood-spray angles right into his open mouth ♥ ]

Vampire is a term for storybooks. I prefer the word Chiropteran.

[onset]

Chiropteran - of course. Forgive my ignorance.

[worldofourown]

It's fine. Between the different species of blood-guzzlers here, anyone can get confused.

[onset]

I hadn't really cared enough to start counting.

[worldofourown]

I find that highly unlikely. This place crawls with vampires like a head of lice. You likely spoke to one or two and didn't even realize it.

[onset]

That's probably a good thing, isn't it.

[worldofourown]

Not unless you have tasty blood and don't like sharing.

[onset]

Oh, no, I'm - quite sure my blood is quite unremarkable. But thank you.

[what]

[worldofourown]

Come now. Everyone's blood has a certain special tang. It's what makes you you, after all.

[ Karl Fei-Ong. Motivational blood-whisperer. At your service :| ]

[onset]

[Huh.] Guess you learn something new every day.

[worldofourown]

There's much more I could educate you on, concerning the finer details of bloodshed. You'll be a wiser man for it.

[ He liesssss :| ]

[onset]

Oh - no, that's quite all right, thank you.