015: AUDIO

[intheblanks]

Does anyone really believe the devil made them do it?

Then, why should we be comfortable applying that logic to curses?

Comments

[as_damaged]

[That pleased tone always shakes her; old habits die hard, and part of her is still used to denying him out of hand. But she's waiting outside, looking perfectly at ease in spite of herself.]

[intheblanks]

[He's less relaxed, by a fraction. The smile in person (he can't quite shake it) is as near to shy as he comes. But she can watch him through the glass doors, if she likes, taking the last couple of steps with a single bound that carries through into the walk that brings him out to meet her.]

Hey.

[as_damaged]

[Well, it's rare these days to see him looking genuinely pleased, which settles her nerves a little. Not completely, of course, but nothing ever does. Still, it coaxes a little quirk of her lip in return.]

Did you have any place special in mind?

[intheblanks]

[Oh- should he have? Is there a special coffee place? For a spur of the moment question he's left feeling he should have thought this through - and his mouth's still open on the first breath he drew to reply so:]

The... coffee shop?

[A small flap of a gesture toward the place nearest the hospital, usually an automatic choice, now clearly inadequate.]

I didn't think you'd have the time - we can get it to go?

[as_damaged]

I just meant, there are a couple...

[Calm down, Chase, this isn't a big deal.]

It's fine. [A slight tilt of her chin as she looks at him, takes a step or two in the direction of the closest café.]

[intheblanks]

[Of course she meant particular, and he's an idiot already putting too much weight on a flat white, a realisation he takes good naturedly as he catches her up.]

I haven't been here long enough to shop around. The path of least distance is good by me.

[as_damaged]

[Maybe someday she'll get used to the difference in him. The unflappable air of confidence was maddening, once, but in its absence... it's not that she misses the way things were, exactly, because things weren't always good; it's that she never knows what reactions to expect.]

That works.

[A flash of a tight smile, probably not quite the one he's looking for. A little too impersonal, maybe.]

So, how is the public responding to your theory?

[intheblanks]

[He has what he's looking for. For a few minutes - company. She's not alone in needing time to get used to the new order of things, after all they've been through enough changes: friends, lovers, partners, nothing and now? He's waiting to get the measure of something that can't even be called starting over, wondering if presuming anything about her (them) is presuming too much.]

A few curious, a few sceptics, one outlier, and at least one teenage girl who believes me. [Some things don't change.] Shouldn't have mentioned the devil as a metaphor. I thought this far out of the States the conversation might not be derailed by religion.

[as_damaged]

Around here you're likelier to end up with someone who claims they are the devil.

[And, she doesn't add, they're right. Or they might as well be, given the range of possibility that's commonplace here.]

But that's a start. A few people who might be willing to try out techniques for resisting it.

[intheblanks]

[It's not that Chase came back to the city more able to overlook reason for faith. He just doesn't see the point in arguing with things that claim to be angels, anymore.]

Most curses seem to hit some people stronger than others. There must be something in the difference between the ones who stop talking because they know they'll spill their secrets and the ones who can't stop themselves.

[as_damaged]

That's true, at least some of the time. Have you noticed any patterns in who's resisting, and how much?

[It's an attractive idea, one she'd like to believe, but she can't. The complexity of the whole business seems too immense... or maybe it's just that she doesn't want to believe herself capable of some of the things she's done, or tried to do.

But there's no harm in thinking it through. And on the off chance he's on to something... Well. Besides, it's a puzzle: they work well together even when they don't get along, that seems like a safe starting point.]

[intheblanks]

I first observed it for myself. Back when people were handing out too much information.

[It's dangerous territory here, should she ask what, but:]

I was aware of making the effort not to be indiscriminate.

[as_damaged]

[She gives him a considering look.]

But not with every curse?

[intheblanks]

Most of the curses haven't been pushing me into something I was opposed to doing.

[as_damaged]

Why do you think that is?

[intheblanks]

[He shrugs.]

Luck? I have to be due some sometime.

[At this precise second, stepping up his pace to get the door for her, he doesn't feel entirely devoid.]

[as_damaged]

[If she's quiet, it's only because all the relevant details are ones she doesn't want to share. In a way it works in his favor, making her too preoccupied to second guess his holding the door.]

If there were a simple way to beat the odds, someone would have found it by now. Luck's as good an answer as anything, I guess.

[intheblanks]

But if we can resist sometimes, it implies the 'force' of the curses is fallible.

[And the door swings shut. There are times he has to curb old instincts - the one that would settle an arm round her shoulders in the line.]

That's something I want to test.

[as_damaged]

How are you planning to do that?

[The half-conscious half step she keeps between them might help make the distinction.]

[intheblanks]

[It certainly stops him slipping too easily.]

That's one of the things I still have to work out.

[as_damaged]

[It's not the slip she'd mind so much as the uncertainty it represents. There's nothing for them to go back to, from her perspective; and she's not sure there's anything to work toward.]

Well, if the ticking primes us, then lessening the ticking should dampen curses, shouldn't it?

[intheblanks]

[If he's working toward anything then for now it's a degree of comfort between them. A working relationship could be the start of that (and if he'll end up wanting more, if he ever believes he deserves it (deserves her) he'll try not to ask if it's likely to destroy things, this time)

And they do work well together. He lifts his head from an examination of the pastries behind the counter.]

Yeah.

[Not something he'd thought of.]

You're right. Theoretically, you're right. The problem being crowds stop the ticking, but multiple people accepting a delusion reaffirms it.

[as_damaged]

So, maybe there's an ideal number.

[She pauses to order her coffee, and doesn't pick up the thread of conversation again immediately as she steps on to wait, looking at nothing in particular. The implications of his theory are only part of why she can't quite accept it, but they don't help.]