mortemscintilla: ∅  You're a star (Hei - SweepingForBugs)
Hei (Li Shenshung) ([personal profile] mortemscintilla) wrote in [community profile] poly_chromatic2013-09-12 08:55 pm

♦♦ 30TH CONTRACT - ANONYMOUS TEXT/ ACTION

Dear City,

Has anyone ever wondered about the ridiculous choices available in condoms? Or what they mean?

If you buy ribbed condoms, exactly who is that for? And what does it say to your partner? Those bumps are so small, you can hardly feel them with your fingertips. I doubt someone's orifices will notice the difference. What, then, is the subtext? That your junk lacks the requisites they find satisfying? 'So, I got ribbed condoms because my dick lacks flair. Or maybe flare.' 

That doesn't bode well.

And what's with the coloured ones? Those in green -- do they make you fantasize about comic book heroes? Or does the idea of a green schlong make you think of gangrene and that they'll probably have to amputate? The yellow ones. Hepatic dysfunction comes to mind. I have no idea what to say about the blue numbers, except I doubt anyone's enjoying it. Tissue hypoxia does it for no-one. The reds just make me think of elongated clown noses. Those are creepy enough on a clown. You don't need them between anyone's legs. And black. I wish I knew what to say about black. Once you roll them on, they don't exactly look black. More like a dull grey, which reminds me of zombies. If you ride too hard, will it fall off?

Then there's the brandnames. Durex has an intimidating 'dure' message that says: you'd better go for hours and like it. Trojans disturb me for several reasons. No one enjoys the 'Trojan Horse' implications. Hung like a horse might be a compliment, but fatal surprises aren't. Lifestyle makes you think of underhanded marketing strategies. All I feel for them is postmodern despair. Bravo seems like you're congratulating someone before the show's even started. In most of Asia, the popular brand is OK, which is equally anti-climactic. I guess it's just OK for them.

Lastly, there's the issue of the amount of condoms. I've wondered about it for a long time. Is a 12-pack too desperate? Does it signify overachievement? Then again, the 5-pack seems a little condescending. Like you've got valid reasons to lower expectations. And just 1 condom? Don't get me started.

Sure, choice and variety are liberating. But is it worth the angst?

Options For Run-Ins:

※ Underground

※ Library

※ Anywhere Else 


[ ooc: No, Hei hasn't lost his mind. However the senseless post has a coded message for Pai. ((Earday Arflowerstay, odecay Green Yellow Blue. Outway of ellcay. Imway OK. at st 151. In other words:  Dear Starflower, code Green Yellow Blue (re: All Clear). Out of cell. I'm OK.  At street 151.)) Blue highlights not ic, but can be if you'd like to go that route for funsies! Replies will be anonymous and untraceable! also, backtagging will be mighty, since I am a slow hiatusaurus<3 ]
sleepingstar: (pic#6278163)

action / text

[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-13 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
You're an idiot.

[Pai has been sitting in the waiting room of the prison since before the crack of dawn, waiting for him to be released. This complicated coded message? So unnecessary.]
sleepingstar: (pic#6508805)

action;

[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-13 01:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[She slips her network device away and goes over to take his hand.]

I'm more worried it's genetic. [She makes a little face at him before leaning her head against his shoulder. Somewhere in the room, a man makes a noise about what a cute couple they are. Disgusting, but he's hardly the first person to think that of the two of them. Pai certainly doesn't help matters with the way she's dressed (specially chosen because it was an outfit he bought for her), and how she clings to him.]
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[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-14 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know. [She hasn't exactly known many children, brother. But that line of thinking will only make him sad, so she tugs him to the door.]

Come on. Let's go home.
sleepingstar: (pic#6511410)

[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-14 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
[She could tell him the truth, that she made sure to clean the place extra thoroughly for his return, because she had nothing better to do. But. Come on. He's her brother.]

Maybe you should have left me with a maid, not a babysitter.
sleepingstar: (pic#6757184)

[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-14 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
Well that's what you get for setting so many. [It's not that she doesn't understand her brother's paranoia.... it just strikes her as excessive. This isn't a warzone, and neither of them are weak. To her, the traps seem like more of an inconvenience than they're worth.]
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[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-14 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
[She leans against him comfortingly, squeezing his hand tight.]

What happened?
sleepingstar: (pic#6278182)

[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-14 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
[She hears what he isn't saying -- regrets so deep he can't give them voice, even to the person he trusts the most.]

They were stupid. [Why would they want to glue things to Hei's ceiling anyway? What do superpowers have to do with complete idiocy?]
sleepingstar: (pic#6511404)

[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-14 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, nothing much. I redecorated the apartment, had some boys over...

[Teasing, teasing. But a stranger listening wouldn't be able to tell.]
sleepingstar: (pic#6511456)

[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-14 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
Of course not. [She would have killed anyone who did.]
sleepingstar: (pic#6152807)

[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-14 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[Patience is a true Contractor's middle name. She is not pleased with the choices he made, but the past is the past, all's well that ends well, etc. Any resentment she may feel is weak, muted. It serves no purpose, so she doesn't entertain it.]

I want steak empanadas.

[(In her heart of hearts, she's even less resentful than she seems. But a guilty Hei is a Hei even more inclined than usual to give her what she wants.)]
sleepingstar: (pic#6511440)

[personal profile] sleepingstar 2013-09-15 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
Nope. [She could never get sick of steak empanadas, okay? They are one of her Top Five Favorite Foods. She could eat buckets of them.]