(no subject)

[pinkeffinprofessional]

So let me get this straight.

A giant tree pops out of the ground.

There's a big fucking annoyed looking bird in it.

It grows a fuckload of pears.

And you idiots actually eat them.

[Pause]

Well, I guess it's no fucking different from buying the food at the supermarket here, right? Fuck knows where that comes from, too.

Also, I'm going to say this, because shit, it keeps coming up, but Nucky? I'm not Nucky. What the fuck kind of name is that, anyway? And this is coming from a guy who goes by Mr. Pink.

Comments

[orangetoughguy]

It tasted good.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

That all?

[orangetoughguy]

It was worth the risk is what I'm saying.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Firm or soft?

[orangetoughguy]

Uh. Just right?

[pinkeffinprofessional]

There are two kinds of pear. The soft kind that gets mealy and gets juice everywhere, and the firm kind that no one eats.

So, which was it?

[orangetoughguy]

I had a really good pear from that fucking tree okay? It wasn't too soft but it wasn't hard. I ate the fucking pear and I saw some stuff.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

The fucking pear made you hallucinate?

[orangetoughguy]

Kind of. Yeah.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Was it a good hallucination or the shitty kind that happens when you drop really bad acid?

[orangetoughguy]

I'm not gonna let you corner me into admitting whether or not I've dropped acid.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Okay, so what kind of fucking hallucination was it, Orange?

[orangetoughguy]

Well it was Christmas and there was a kid and a mom and somebody else's mom.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

You hallucinated A Christmas Story?

[orangetoughguy]

No, asshole, it looked like some welfare Christmas.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[Silence]

What the fuck would you know about a welfare Christmas?

[orangetoughguy]

Hey what the fuck's that supposed to mean?

[pinkeffinprofessional]

It means I don't think you actually know shit about welfare.

[orangetoughguy]

I don't have to have one to know what it is.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Okay, fine, so what the fuck is up with this welfare Christmas?

[orangetoughguy]

[He was going to be nice and gentle about it but since you're being such a jackass, Pink...]

This kid got a beat up piece of shit chess set. You'd have to think who the fuck thinks a chess set's a great idea for what, an eight year old. Then you gotta think somebody donated that to the Salvation Army so some kid could get it.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Depends on the eight year old.

[He's getting irritated.]

[unflagging]

I know, right? Seriously! I've been here, like, three weeks and even I know better. You get here and everyone says "Watch out for the curses!" so you do, but then everyone goes and jumps right in them like they don't even care. What the hell?

[pinkeffinprofessional]

No brains.

[trenchknives]

It's short for...

[A pause.]

Right. We went over that before. Anyway, did you eat any of the pears, or should I assume from the fact that you're callin' everyone stupid that you didn't?