029: VIDEO

[intheblanks]

[Good (very late) evening to you, City. This transmission appears to be coming from inside a stall in the men's room at one of the City's bars (the Blue Light, if you're familiar with it).

Chase is (fully clothed and) sitting with a large green parrot sidling back and forth across his shoulder. The parrot appears to have something to say, and Chase has one arm out, network device in hand, videoing it.

Yes, this is essentially a selfie.

But over to the parrot, which is repeating, in Chase's voice:]

Um, I need you to relax your anus.

Um, I need you to relax your anus.

Um, I need you to relax your anus.

Um—

[And Chase is... giggling? Yes, giggling. He has to draw a deep breath and try to settle his shoulders to manage to speak at all.]

So, what's the likelihood I'm getting slapped on the way home?

[And then, the familiar squeal of the men's room door opening, and the sudden wide eyed look of a man in a bathroom stall making that request. Chase drops the network device as he tries to grab the parrot's beak.]

Comments

video;

[theassassin]

[....

Hang on. She thought she was ready to respond.

Nope.

Okay. Okay. ]

Hahahahaa...

video;

[intheblanks]

[Chase is now conversing with the network device from a position on his knees.]

Shh, he'll hear you.

[And not making himself look any better.]

[worldofourown]

I'd applaud, not slap.

[ At least someone is handling the curse creatively. ]

video;

[theassassin]

[Better? She's got her hand over her mouth, but that hasn't stopped the laughter or the fact that the angle and the comment make it that much worse.]

Oh... is her anus shy? I can... let you go and...laugh at you later when you aren't.. busy?

[intheblanks]

[He is too tipsy to frown at you right now, Karl.]

Is that the instruction you've been waiting for?

[worldofourown]

[ Lucky for Karl, ]

Do you want it to be? [ smile, smile ]

video:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

[There's a purplish colored bird sitting on Mindy's shoulder. It also has things to say and Mindy looks...amused.]

You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky; it's in the shape of a giant cock.

[That's all. Thank you for your time, Chase.]

video;

[intheblanks]

Natasha.

[It's a low whisper, while in the background his voice continues - I need you to relax your anus?]

I'm not in the ladies room. [Because obviously this would be so much better if he was. Wait.] And I'm not busy!

video;

[theassassin]

No?

[So much snickering... She's kind of had fun with these all day, which has been sort of nice.]

Well, I just couldn't resist. I'm sorry. Are you alright... other than your chatty friend?

video:

[intheblanks]

You have a terrible mouth for a little girl.

[It doesn't actually sound like a criticism.]

[intheblanks]

I don't think you need to work on being less uptight.

[Not tipsy enough to... flirt or whatever that was Karl.]

video;

[intheblanks]

As long as no one thinks I'm advertising, I'm great.

[justamessenger]

[Dulcie's just going to be over here losing it, well done City.]

[worldofourown]

[ We forgive you, Chase. The line between flirtation, conversation and threats is hopelessly blurred for Karl. ]

It's hardly something that warrants criticism.

[ Not to imply that you were criticizing :3 ]

video;

[theassassin]

Best of luck with that...

video;

[intheblanks]

You're a spy. [Subtle, Chase.] How do you escape from a bathroom? I've got... a beer mat, a book of matches, flashlight torch and a giant bird.

[intheblanks]

A little self-repression has it's place.

[When you're a crazy vampire.]

video;

[theassassin]

[CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.]

Is there a window? And a central sprinkler system?

[intheblanks]

[When Chase makes it back he has parrot feathers in his hair and is trying to look scandalised.]

Were you listening to me in the bathroom?

[worldofourown]

Not for me. Deathly allergic to that word. Repression is rooted in a fear of consequence, I'm told.

[ What consequences does a nutcase vampire have to fret over? :c ]

[justamessenger]

You had your video camera on, bucko. It was hard to ignore.

[intheblanks]

Intrusive.

[Tut, tut.]

I guess i should have asked you how far the omniscience goes.

[justamessenger]

Yes, but if I told you then I'd have to kill you.

video:

[intheblanks]

No. [To the window, though he just means this stall. And he's putting some effort into examining the ceiling for evidence of the other.] Maybe. They don't have laws about death traps here yet. I guess people find the idea redundant.

[as_damaged]

Who knows? You might make new friends.