02 | Video

[spiderkid]

[ Miles is minding his own business when a huge parrot flies in through the window. Thinking it's pretty cool, he takes out his device to grab a video. Just then the parrot begins to speak, in Miles' own voice. ]

I don't, like, poop them out if that's what you're thinking.

…What?

I don't, like, poop them out if that's what you're thinking.

No, I heard you the first time. Stupid bird. [ Miles shoos it away and ends the video. ]

Comments

action:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

[The first resident of the house that heads in is Mocha. She's just chased the parrot back into the room, puppy paws flopping everywhere and growls sounding more humorous than horrifying. More adorable whine than terrifying sound. Even the parrot seems to know this because it mocks the dog, with more of what it was saying previously. Mindy follows a moment later, eying the bird with annoyance.] Is that all it knows how to say?

[Because she'll shoot it if it is. Or throw a knife at it.]

action:

[spiderkid]

[ Miles' head is just flat out on the table now. SO EMBARRASSING. ]

I said that, Mindy. I said that about my webs.

Re: action:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

When? [Mindy watches the bird, expressionless. She's wondering if its as violent as the geese a few days back. If so, she might enjoy chasing it out. Mocha heads over to Miles, sitting at his feet with a whine.]

action:

[spiderkid]

To Saya, when I first got here.

Re: action:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

I know her. [Mindy lived with her very briefly before she moved to the apartment.

From a nearby closet, or possibly a pantry in the kitchen comes a very loud, very sarcastic sounding "You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky; it's in the shape of a giant cock." once or twice. Mindy doesn't react much except to speak, very calmly. ]

You heard nothing.

Re: action:

[spiderkid]

She's gonna teach me about spiders.

[ Miles tries very hard not to laugh. ]

I heard nothing.

Re: action:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

No laughing. It's not funny. [It's hilarious as hell and she's having a hard time not laughing, too. A really hard time, only made worse by the bird repeating it over and over.]

So, spiders, huh? Can't you just get a book from the library?

Re: action:

[spiderkid]

I guess, but she said she knows a lot about spiders so I figured I'd ask her.

Re: action:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

Okay. [It's the better way to learn, anyway. Reading on your own only gets you so far.]

Your bird's worse than mine. [Even if it does have a habit of shouting 'cock' really loudly when it gets to that point.] You can have the rest of the ice cream.

Re: action:

[spiderkid]

Sweet, thanks!

[ As he goes in the kitchen to get some, he hears Mindy's bird right at the cock part. He comes back with two bowls. ]

On second thought, we both deserve some.

Video

[bookbending]

Weird.

Video

[spiderkid]

Yeah. Totally weird.

Video

[bookbending]

Does it say anything else?

Re: Video

[spiderkid]

Nope, just that.

Video

[bookbending]

Oh... that's good. It could be a lot worse.

Re: Video

[spiderkid]

Yeah, there were other parts of that conversation that I really don't want anyone to hear.

Video

[bookbending]

Can you make it--

[Jinora is interrupted by very loud laughter courtesy of someone off-screen. She looks highly unimpressed.]

Sorry. Korra thinks your bird is funny. But can you make it go away or stop talking?

Re: Video

[spiderkid]

I tried to shoo it away but the dog chased it back in. I don't think PETA would be too happy If I taped its mouth shut.

Video

[bookbending]

Does it count if it's a magic curse bird? A magic curse bird should deal with it.

Permavideo

[doeswhathewants]

Poop what out?

Permavideo

[spiderkid]

Nothing! I don't poop anything out! Except, you know, poop.

Permavideo

[doeswhathewants]

Gross.

Why would your bird say that, then?

audio;

[studmuffin]

I was going to ask but maybe not.

audio;

[spiderkid]

Please dont.

audio;

[studmuffin]

Cross my heart.

[ Pause. ] But seriously, now I'm thinking about it.

Re: audio;

[spiderkid]

Please, man, I'm begging you. Don't ask.

audio;

[studmuffin]

Okay, okay.

So you're new, huh?

video;

[anatural]

[Somebody thinks that's pretty much the funniest thing she's ever seen. (Yeah, Korra has the most mature sense of humor.)]

I'm not sure I even wanna know what the context was.

Re: video;

[spiderkid]

You don't. [ If only because it involves Miles' secret identity. ]

video;

[anatural]

[giggling some more]

Did you train him to do that?

Re: video;

[spiderkid]

I've never seen that bird before in my life. If I was gonna train a bird to talk, I wouldn't teach it to say that.

video;

[anatural]

He sounded just like you.

[fe_male]

[ snerk. ]

You should see if your bird's been talking to that other one.

[spiderkid]

Which other one? My roommate's got one that keeps talking about a giant cock.

[fe_male]

Well at this rate really any of the others. What giant cock?