video

[worstretconever]

[Someone's obviously been fighting with the geese. The Master has feathers clinging to his hair and suit, and there are even a few rips in the tailored fabric. He has a splendid bruise blossoming on one cheek and a bloody lip, but he still seems remarkably cheerful about everything - possibly because he's also holding a golden egg.]

Does anybody need a goose for their Christmas dinner? I'd hate for it to go to waste.

Comments

[valentineluke]

You got caught up in this nonsense?

[worstretconever]

[Shrug.] It's something to do. Not that birds are much of a challenge.

[...okay, and he wanted his laser screwdriver.]

[valentineluke]

When a firearm is used, yes, not much of a challenge at all. However, I was picking them off my property well before they could nest and have something worth guarding.

[worstretconever]

Pfft, who uses guns? Terribly unsporting.

[valentineluke]

Gave them plenty of time to vacate. Have no one but themselves to blame for refusing to migrate elsewhere.

I could have used many other means of dispatch. Unexpected loud noise and skull shattering felt like the best choice in getting my message across.

video:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

Nice one.

video:

[worstretconever]

I do try.

Re: video:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

I got near the wrong one at the wrong time.

[She holds up her arm. It's black and blue and probably even cut up a bit. But then she holds up her egg.]

Do you think the deities will let me trade for something that isn't mine but it's still from home?

[She only half listened to Fice's announcement.]

video:

[worstretconever]

Hmm. It says something from your world, but doesn't specify that it has to be yours. I don't see why they wouldn't.

Re: video:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

Good. Because I want a car.

video:

[worstretconever]

It's certainly worth asking, then.

Re: video:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

And it's better I have it than the actual douche-bag who owns it.

video:

[worstretconever]

I do hope it's a nice car.

Re: video:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

It's an awesome car.

video:

[worstretconever]

Good! There's no point in having a mode of transportation that isn't stylish.

Re: video:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

Exactly. It might need a paint job when I get it, but still.

[verylast]

What did you do?

[worstretconever]

Exactly what it looks like, Doctor.

1/2

[verylast]

Why?

2/2

[verylast]

No, wait. I don't want to know.

[worstretconever]

Because I felt like it.

[verylast]

You're going to trade with the deities, aren't you?

[worstretconever]

Possibly.

[verylast]

[ Sighing. Running a hand through his hair. ]

It's too much to ask you not to, isn't it?

[worstretconever]

Out of some misguided concern for my own well-being, or because you're afraid of what I'll ask for?

[verylast]

Things are never that black and white, Master.

[worstretconever]

[Rolling his eyes at the Doctor.]

I'm not stupid, you know.

[verylast]

Of course not.

[ He just makes a lot of terrible mistakes. ]

[worstretconever]

[WELL SO DO YOU. :|

He replies after he's visited the deities, pulling his screwdriver out of his pocket and twirling it with a flourish so the Doctor can see it.]

I think that went well enough.

[verylast]

[ His stomach goes cold, ice filling him up and dread kicking into the beat of his hearts. ]

I should have known.

[worstretconever]

[A nonchalant shrug.]

And yet, you didn't. Funny how that works.

[verylast]

[ His mind races. The year that never was, the pain the Master caused, it all takes a hold and squeezes at his throat and he wants to move and react and fight back. But he's older and his pain is a dull ache. ]

What are you planning to do with that?

[worstretconever]

I haven't got any plans yet. [And even if he did, he wouldn't tell you, obviously.] Don't worry, though, I'm not going to age you again. [He gives the Doctor a bright smile.] That might not even work, actually, with a new regeneration.

[He's so reassuring.]

[verylast]

I hope the deities had the foresight to put a cap on what that thing could do.

[worstretconever]

You're such a killjoy sometimes, Doctor.

...all right, make that all the time.

[verylast]

All the things you could have asked for and you picked a weapon.

[worstretconever]

So you've got everything you want from back home, and I'm supposed to be content with nothing? I don't think so.

[verylast]

You make it sound like everything's so easy.

[worstretconever]

Of course it's not easy. But you're simplifying things, too.

[verylast]

I find it hard to believe you won't use that as the weapon you created it to be.

video;

[majorcrotchgrab]

Unless you're going to give me the egg, no.

video;

[worstretconever]

Hardly. I have plans for it.

video;

[majorcrotchgrab]

Indulge me. What are you going to ask for?