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Entry tags:

harry potter - percy weasley

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WANTED:

Assistance in sales and maintenance for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, a magical joke and prank shop. Magical talent or experience is preferred, but not necessary. Ideal applicants are enthusiastic and willing to learn about a large stock of magical items, good with people, and able to go up and down stairs several times a day.

Please contact Percy Weasley at [number] or apply in person at [address].

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[Just released from the hospital and using a cane, and look who's already back at the shop! He's moving a little more slowly than usual and takes a while to get upstairs, but he's still selling magical jokes and japes at the newly re-opened Wheezes, just in time for Christmas.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fletcher. Rory Fletcher--sorry, should have said that sooner.

Mr. Fletcher. What previous experience do you have in retail?

Enough, I'd think, Mr. Weasley. I've put my hand to nearly everything for a little while. But buying and selling isn't too complicated. I did a stint in a little general store for a while when the owner took ill. I sold horse tack for a while too, and hardware, but just as jobs while I was passing through one place or another. Does that count?

[And he's kind of lying here. But that's not new.]

I think that sounds like relevant experience. Do you have any magical talents?

Magical talents?

[Yes. Lots. Gallons. Tons.]

Well, I can do a some of card tricks and I can do a decent French drop, you know, with a coin. Probably one or two other things. So a little sleight of hand, I guess. What I know I picked up working as a roadie for a stage magician. Everybody learned a little. I can't do the big stage stuff, obviously, but that's more equipment than anything. I know I can pick up more, if that's what you need.

[Liar, liar. Pants are now smoldering.]

So, yes?

Sorry, what's a French drop?

It's like palming but with a little bonus misdirection.

I'll show you sometime.

All right.

[WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING, SIR]

Is there a time you're available to come by the shop?

[Sleight of hand, man! Sleight of hand! The kind of "magic" you use to keep people from seeing your real magic too soon.]

Any time you might need me to. See, I just got here, so, aside from getting lost, I've got nothing pressing at the moment.

Does seven thirty this evening work for you?

It sure does. I'll see you then.

[And at 7:30, the shop is closed but the door is cracked open, and Percy is inside, cleaning up.]

[Right on time--look at this polite American, tapping gently at the door. He might be wearing cowboy boots and jeans, but he's got some sense of how to behave.]

Mr. Fletcher, come in. I'm glad you could make it. Shall we begin?

Thanks.

Begin? Sure, yes.

With the basics, then. Follow me?

[He leads the other man in, gesturing to a shelf full of what appear to be perfectly solid, real wands.]

Pick one of those up and wave it.

[When he does, it will let out a loud squawk and turn into a tin parrot.]

[Magic wands. Super. He'll just...very carefully and metaphorically sit on his own magic. Let the wand do as it pleases.

He does give the wand a very dramatic and flourished wave.......................

KAPOW, SQUAWK: tin parrot.

And he grins.]

Didn't expect that to happen.

Trick wands. They appear to be real until the person attempts to perform magic with it, and then they - well, you saw.

[He lists off what other things they can turn into, at least ten of them, then looks at Fletcher.]

Can you repeat at least five of those?

I saw, all right. That's impressive.

[A pause.]

Probably.

[One, two, three, four, five...six... ... ... ... ...seven?]

Very well done. Follow me, please.

[And he'll lead Fletcher through the store, demonstrating the inventory and describing it in careful detail, occasionally stopping to quiz Fletcher on it.]

[He follows, as he is bidden--oh, eager to please, of course, yes.

And he'll get the quiz questions right. He catches on fast. And he'll learn more as he goes.

They're kind of cute, really--magical pranks.]

[As they reach the end, he glances back at Fletcher.]

Any questions?

No, I don't think...

[A pause...]

Well... Actually, yes, just one: some of those tricks aren't tricks, are they?

[He looks confused.]

What do you mean?

Or maybe they are, I don't know. But it sure doesn't seem like the usual linking rings and flameproof silks.

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