6 ♞ text

[sickbeat]

this bird wont stop shitting on me
omfg

Comments

[riches]

Take a mugshot of it.

1/2

[sickbeat]

hold on

[sickbeat]

turntechGodhead [TG] sent file "lifechoices.jpg"

[riches]

That's such a pretty bird, Dave! What is it called?

[orangetoughguy]

thats what newspapers are for dude

[sickbeat]

jeromy grand poobah of shitville

[sickbeat]

what like
those little newspaper hats??

( Text )

[confined_to_briah]

Get away from it.

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[sickbeat]

what
no
i bought this bird
its one of those pet things
not sure why i got a motherfucking bird though shits loud as all hell over absolutely nothing
thought itd be pretty simple just give it water and food and i wouldnt be driven nigh insane
but no
i was a fool

( Text )

[confined_to_briah]

Sounds like it might be sick.

( Text )

[sickbeat]

youre shitting me
pun not even fucking intended

( Text )

[confined_to_briah]

I've never had a pet, but it shouldn't be going that much.

[mortemscintilla]

What kind of bird is it?

[ Who knows how or why this question is relevant. ]

[riches]

An impressive title for such a regal creature.

[orangetoughguy]

no man like at the bottom of a cage why is the bird on your head

[he_who_kills]

You want me kill?

[signatures]

So - move away from it?

[sickbeat]

its hells of rude keeping it cooped up in a fuckin cage bro
hes my friend
you dont lock up your friends even if they take huge dumps on you

( Text )

[sickbeat]

hey lay off maybe it has some kind digestive problem
hes sensitive have a little fucking consideration

[sickbeat]

idk wasnt paying attention
bright as all hell though
and badass of course

[sickbeat]

holy shit
stay the fuck away from my bird

[sickbeat]

goddamn
why didnt i think of that
you opened up a world of new possibilities for me dude this is unreal my mind is fucking blown

[sickbeat]

hell yes hes regal and impressive
grand poobah can take a dump wherever he damn well pleases law of the land you dont fuck around with the law

[orangetoughguy]

friends dont let friends not learn how to shit in the pot if youre not going to lock him up teach him how to do it right

/can't resist after all

[haring_to_go]

A bird? Why do you have one of those? [ because if one has a bird, shouldn't one keep it locked up?

... He'll have to ask Gil next time what's the proper way to care for a bird. He does have Raven. ]

[sickbeat]

because the ticking was driving me fuckin up a wall
nearly got a speeding ticket

[haring_to_go]

So you were speeding to get a turkey?

[ no wonder it was shitting everywhere; it was probably scared out of its wits ]

[sickbeat]

whoa
dude
rude as hell
you owe jeromy grand poobah of shitville an apology
hes more than just a turkey
hes my new best friend

[sickbeat]

what
can you even train birds
is that a legit thing
like
roll over polly

[signatures]

You're very welcome.

[sickbeat]

idk
it kinda likes me
theres gotta be some kind of bird shoulder thing i mean its the twenty first century that shits gotta be a thing

[haring_to_go]

[ right, right. his bad. ]

And you allow your friends to shit on you.

[ ... he hopes it rains soon. This man is likely in serious need of a shower. ]

[signatures]

What are you talking about?

[sickbeat]

not just any friend
just the grand poobah

[sickbeat]

come on youve seen them
like those rad gauntlets for badass falcons to just perch all regally on

[signatures]

They train falcons for that bit. What, you want some sort of majestic bird training shoulder pad?

[sickbeat]

who wouldnt

[signatures]

Most people who don't want to be shat on.

[haring_to_go]

I suggest you shower then.

and often.

[sickbeat]

rude
im cleaner than your dinner plates
you know the ones you use cascade and dawn and shit on to get off all that nasty ass grease

[haring_to_go]

I highly doubt that. Since we're on the subject when DID you last clean yourself?

[ oh yes, he is CALLING YOUR BLUFF, mister. :| ]

[sickbeat]

oh my god
last fucking night okay christ

[haring_to_go]

[ a small smile of victory! ]

My dishes were washed and cleaned this morning

[ hah! ]

[sickbeat]

wow
must have taken you a whole lotta effort
turning the dial and letting the dishwasher do all the work