[video]

[othersdie]

[Justin wakes up in a place that is definitely not his room. This, however, is a thing that he notices only after the initial wave of agonizing pain subsides. Looking at the video feed, a careful observer will notice that this doesn't look like Justin. There's something different about the face, the hair...]

What...

[He's in the Welcome Center in one of the guest beds. Therefore, it shouldn't be much of a surprise that Penny's voice can be heard in the background.]

Jimmy? Do you need more medicine?

I don't-- [Oh. Oh. Realization dawns--and is immediately derailed by pain. What the hell did Jimmy do?] Yes. Please.

Just give me a minute, okay?

Thanks.

[He notices the device's recording light. With a sigh that becomes a groan as moving proves to be a bad idea, Justin grabs the device. Before turning it off--]

Jimmy. I have something that belongs to you.


[ooc: Most pointless bodyswap of all time! Jimmy and Justin have swapped, Jimmy was clever enough to let House do a painful surgical procedure, and purple is Penny. Replies will come from ohcurses 

TRIGGER WARNING for the thread involving Carla.]

Comments

[ohcurses]

What? No.

[Can't a guy feel some sympathy for someone who might be even more fucked up than he is?]

I don't--I can't imagine being in a war. Whatever facts I have about pain... facts don't help in that situation. Or any situation.

[the_lost]

Okay, that's... yeah. You're right. I couldn't imagine it 'til I got there, either, as much as I thought I knew what I was gettin' into. And then ya can't ever stop thinkin' about it.

[ohcurses]

Have you considered seeking psychiatric help? It's common, when I'm from. Now.

[the_lost]

No.

[Even he's startled at how vehement his voice sounds.]

The hospital... they were gonna run tests on me. Ask me all these invasive questions, questions about relationships, about my family. I don't need that kinda fuckin' thing.

[ohcurses]

Alright. It's not like that anymore if you go to someone reputable, but if you don't want to.

[the_lost]

Whaddo ya mean it's not like that anymore? They still ask ya those questions, don't they? That shit about how you're fucked up 'cause of your past, like ya never even had a chance to be not fucked up?

[A pause.]

You ever gone?

[ohcurses]

Not always. Some do, but others would just encourage you to say what's on your mind. Some might even talk to you for a little while, diagnose you, and write you a prescription.

...A few times.

[the_lost]

What kinda prescription?

[Yeah, go figure it's the idea of getting a prescription that appeals to him.]

And they didn't, y'know... they didn't make ya say shit? If ya didn't want to?

[ohcurses]

It depends. Antistimulants, mood stabilizers, benzodiazapines, antidepressants... antipsychotics or barbituates, rarely.

[Not that he has, in the past, played with any of these. Nope.]

One did. I just quit seeing her. The others were happy enough to tell me what drugs to take.

[the_lost]

That doesn't sound too bad, I guess.

[A long pause.]

They were gonna use me in a study. At the hospital. To find out what war did to our minds, I guess. Like it was that fuckin' hard to tell.

[He's not sure why he's telling Justin this, except maybe that Justin's stuck in his body, and that's probably the closest anyone will ever get to experiencing what it's like to be him.]

I didn't want them to look at me like I was broken. Yeah, they said it was gonna be professional, but I'm not fuckin' stupid, y'know. I went to college.

[For awhile.]

[ohcurses]

[Justin has been in that situation--being observed, people trying to figure out what's wrong. He gets that much.]

Did you get out of the study?

[the_lost]

No. Me 'n another guy left.

[ohcurses]

Good. No one should be a lab rat.

[the_lost]

You, uh, you're surprisingly understandin' about this.

[ohcurses]

It's something I can relate to, that's all.

[the_lost]

Yeah? What happened to you?

[No tact. None at all.]

[ohcurses]

[No tact is fine and, since Jimmy has been open with him, he'll return the favor.]

My mother used to take me to psychiatrists. I was given mandatory counseling in prison, too; it was like they were trying to see what makes a psychopath tick.

[the_lost]

You were in prison? Why? What'd ya do?

[ohcurses]

I killed someone. Not alone, but I performed the actual murder.

[This is fairly common knowledge, at least among people Justin knows. No filter is necessary.]

[the_lost]

Welcome to the club. It ain't a great club, I know, but hey.

[ohcurses]

Do you regret it?

Private

[the_lost]

[Jimmy makes the conversation private because he hasn't really discussed this with anyone here before.]

Depends on which one you're talkin' about. With some people, nah, it was what had to be done. Some of it, though, yeah, I regret it every day.

Private

[ohcurses]

[Justin can sympathize. Sure, he only killed one person, but he didn't have any excuses. It's been years and he still regrets it.]

I wish I had some kind of practical advice for lessening regret.

Re: Private

[the_lost]

Shit, if someone had that, we'd've heard of it by now, right?

Private

[ohcurses]

Not if they weren't willing to share.