poly_chromatic | 026: VIDEO

[The doctor is in his office, where he's been since just before midnight. It is now two pm.

He's on the phone, back to the camera.]

Tell him I'm not available for surgery today.

Because I'm not available for surgery today. Yes, I'm in. I'm in my office.

[He shoves a hand back through his hair, frustrated.]

No, Manda, I don't want a coffee brought up. I'm busy.

It's fairly straightforward, you tell him I'm Not - Available - For - Surgery...For God's sake, he's not that frightening, is he?

Then tell him to call me and I'll tell him I'm not available for surgery.

Yes, unless it's life or death.

I'm sure about the coffee.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

You're very sweet, but I'm fine. I'll speak to you later.

Right, maybe later I'll want coffee. Bye.

[He hangs up. The sigh on the click of the receiver isn't an exaggeration - nor is the startled look when he turns to notice his device is recording.]

Oh, for-

[Transmission end.]

[Chase is wearing a white T shirt, the slogan of which cannot be seen on camera. It is, howevever, I KILLED A MAN AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS... please feel free to try and bother him by network or in person, some characters may get in, but that door is locked.

ALSO this will be backdatey because uni has started and I'm tired.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Like a beozer? Isn't that some freaky Harry Potter stuff. Oh hey, maybe he was a Wizard in secret.

Adderall. [ He hopes that explains himself a lot, Chase. He's not sorry. ]

Bezoar, that's right. This one was less a result of wonky magic, more a girl with a habit of eating the contents of her couch.

Or maybe I'm a wizard in secret.

[It explains a bit, but nothing Chase couldn't have put down to 'general dorky teenager' so far.]

You'd better book a check up. I do shifts in the free clinic.

She was eating her couch? Oh my god, no wait - no. Why? I mean who looks at the couch and thinks, hey that looks delicious. Unless the cushions looked like marshmallows because we've all been forgiven of chewing one of those in our sleep, right?

You're totally not a wizard. Wizards around here are just like, hey I'm a Wizard look at the crazy crap I can do. You haven't done that yet. You'd open with magic, not couches.

[ Breathing. ] Okay, check up.

You're completely overlooking the 'in secret' part. Or maybe I just don't like to brag.

Do you really want to know what makes someone eat their couch? And I can do [some noisy keyboard work] Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday next week between two and four.

It's probably a brain thing that I will feel super guilty about once you explain, so. My best friend's mom is a nurse and she has this habit of just randomly breaking my heart into itty, bitty splinters for fun. Like the cruel but awesome woman she is.

Tuesday's good.

The obsessive-compulsives tend to chew on their own hair. They get hairballs too, but not usually the size of an obese baby. Pica is the desire to eat weird things. Dirt, bits of metal - couch foam. We can't always pinpoint the trigger, sometimes it's mental, sometimes it's a vitamin deficiency sending mixed up signals. Sometimes it's worms.

Often it's pregnancy. The real sob stories don't come around that often.

Tuesday at three fifteen.

Your baby might get pissed it has to share space with a hairball though.

[ Awesome, great. He sounds the most pleased. ]

Or it could get in some prenatal soccer practice.

Where's the goal post though?

Only necessary when you're taking penalties.

Save that for the way out.

I am so glad I don't have a vagina right now.

And that's good to know.

But hey, if anyone did want a vagina, you'd be the guy to go to.

[This laugh-cough thing is getting to be a habit.]

I-um, don't do aesthetics.

Bummer. People are just going to have to tuck and tape, I guess.

Tuck, I get. Tape?

I'm pretty sure it involves an extra set of panties.

Right. And I think that's where I stop asking questions.

[ A hum. ]

I know a lot of ladies who require that talent.

You know a lot of women you'd like to stop asking you about transsexual dressing habits?

Ginger Fierce is totally open to explanation. I think she holds classes.

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