034 x 430 // text // plan your own...

[dignity_misery]

[She trashed the apartment this morning. The anxiety mounted above and beyond what could she could handle, that knot of glass and tar inside of her chest unbearable, the crying inside of her head pulsating too heavily. It's been building there, behind her eyes and deep in her stomach and lungs, for weeks now. She's been counting down to this day, or maybe it's been creeping up to her. Climbing over her, choking her.

The wreckage is inevitable, furniture overturned and porcelain shards scattered across the floor. Her dog is clawing at the bathroom door now, and for some reason that she doesn't understand, she has this to share with the network,]

CAROLENA MARÍANNA MORIR
09/08/1986 — 03/26/2011
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR .

[[ooc; This post is a catchall for Carla's suicide. This is a blanket trigger warning for the entirety of this post and any comments that may follow. She will answer any network comments, but it will be timelined to before her final episode. Action from folks involved in this fiasco are welcome, as well as any initial visitors on Sunday (it takes 24 hours for the dead to wake up.)

By the way, it's her birthday. She's 30 today.]]

Comments

[dignity_misery]

[She'd have laughed either way, and she's nodding now as she chews.]

A ladybug. She landed in the window, and offered me a wish.

[She takes the next piece a bit more roughly.]

I didn't have anything to trade.

[itsjustafruit]

And nothing comes for free, hm? [Another bite for himself and another offered up to Carla.]

What price did your ladybug exact?

[He's rather enjoying himself, listening to her story, rejuvenating a little in her disequilibrium after a full day of unrelenting angelic companionship.]

[dignity_misery]

What meager dignity I had left.

[She's doing that half-hysterical laughing thing again. It's not funny. It's just... so pathetic, she can't help herself.]

So long as there was suffering.

[And there's been plenty of that.]

[itsjustafruit]

That might be the most sadistic ladybird I've ever heard of. [He's pretty sure Baalzebub stuck with flies, but maybe some suck-up demon hadn't heard the word that ladybugs are considered cute by humans.]

So here you are keeping the bargain even if your ladybird's in an entirely different dimension? I'd say that's all you at this point.

Cake?

[dignity_misery]

She was a fucking bitch. [She's beaming.] Sometimes, I was afraid if I didn't... didn't keep my half, that she'd take it back. I don't know which is worse anymore. It's always the same, I'm trapped in a corpse with nowhere to go.

[She's twisting her hands in her restraints restlessly.]

I'd eat cake.

[itsjustafruit]

[They can come back to the filet. He takes the lid off the former fruit cocktail to reveal a slice of a dome-shaped white cake with both custard and a thin strip of raspberry in its center. It's the distinctive green-tinted marzipan that identifies it as princess cake. If, to his mind, it also makes him think of a slightly rotted corpse, he's just a little demon-minded.]

Now you know that she can't really take it back, since you took it back yourself, right?

[He takes a piece of cake on his fork and eats it before offering her a bite.] Free will, she'll get you coming and going.

[dignity_misery]

Is that what that means?

[She doesn't even really dare to be hopeful about it, honestly. Though she does stare at the cake curiously, taking a meager sniff before it goes into her mouth. She has no objections to a cake that looks like a slightly rotted corpse.]

[itsjustafruit]

[Good for her, since it is delicious cake for all that faint resemblance.]

Don't count on me for reassurance. It's my job to lead people astray; maybe I'm lying about being on vacation, but if I'm not lying, I should expect that a quasi-successful suicide in the City is going to render null and void your ladybird self-abasement contract.

Have some of the marzipan. [He offers her another piece with green marzipan.]

[dignity_misery]

I don't need to be led.

[But that's a very quiet note, said lightly before she takes the next piece into her mouth.]

If I'd eaten this last time, I'd have been vomiting for hours.

[itsjustafruit]

Old habits...

[He cuts himself a piece and looks up.]

Why?

[dignity_misery]

[She's strayed just fine all on her own.]

It's how the Reanimate system reacts to anything that isn't raw meat.

[itsjustafruit]

[What a waste of perfectly good cake.]

So you're neither fish nor fowl these days. How is that working for you?

[It must have been a while, considering what he saw when they had lunch together.]

[dignity_misery]

[Her head falls back with a cackle.]

I barely sleep, I never dream. I'm always hungry, I'm always cold.

[itsjustafruit]

It's like you're getting an all access tour of the old homestead without finishing your death yet. Well done, you.

[Have another bite of cake.]

[dignity_misery]

You prick.

[But she's still laughing and she takes her cake without a fuss.]

[itsjustafruit]

Did you want me to cry and lament the waste of a beautiful life?

[He has a last bite of cake and sets the fork down.]

Perhaps I should gaze at you soulfully and tell you how I'm here for you when you need me and you don't have to hurt yourself when you have such good friends.

[dignity_misery]

I bet you couldn't. Not with a straight face.

[itsjustafruit]

[And in that she would just be wrong. He composes his expression into a facade of sorrow and worry.]

Carla, it hurts me to see you here, I can't understand how you could do this to yourself. Haven't you thought of all the people who care about you?

[Then the facade breaks and he snorts.] Ask for something hard next time.

[dignity_misery]

Maybe a proposal next time.

[Although maybe it's Carla who can't keep a straight face through these things.]

[itsjustafruit]

[He gives a little hissing laugh.] I'm too good for you.

[dignity_misery]

Now, now, don't insult yourself like that.

[itsjustafruit]

[Now he really laughs.] Too bad you started out human.

[dignity_misery]

I hear that a lot.

[Her vampire ex-husband, her other demon friends. She was a popular girl for being such a dysfunctional bitch.]

[itsjustafruit]

[Because she's a dysfunctional bitch.]

Now that we've had our warm and fuzzy moment, before I get quite ill, I'm going to finish my lunch, and I assume you're going to want some. Then I'm going to walk out of here and you can look me up when they see fit to untie you.

[dignity_misery]

I could eat all of it, if you're feeling too delicate.

[Translation: your assumption is correct.]