TEXT/VOICE || 016

[threeolives]

It's late at night and they're fucking in the lab again. Rhodes knows it's a bad idea. It's been a bad idea ever since Tony first introduced it into their once professional relationship and it doesn't make it any better that it keeps happening, whenever Rhodes feels like he's going insane without it or Tony just wants it.

Rhodes needs Tony to build weapons and stay under control and protect the free world, but what he gets is Tony on top of him, his weight pushing him down against the cold glass table, scattered chip cards digging into his back as Tony's teeth rake his neck. Rhodes' coc---

[ Thankfully Pepper can interrupt the transmition before it gets too much more graphic. ]

What--? How did that even-- That is private!

[ Then, when she realizes it's still recording, ] …And I did not write that!

Comments

[punchedhitler]

[Oh man why is Steve on the Network]

What?

[skintoskin]

[He laughs.]

Oh, man, that is so fuckin' lame. Don't you have any good gay porn?

[threeolives]

[Why??]

Oh god, Steve...

[On the one hand she's freaking out that Steve saw this. On the other, she's immeasurably grateful that the curse didn't leak some of the Iron Man/Captain America fan fiction she has saved.]

[threeolives]

[Pepper will laugh at this tomorrow. Today she's just too mortified.]

That's not-- it barely qualifies as porn. It's just some stupid fan fiction I found on the internet. ...About my boyfriend. And his best friend. That I saved. Oh god.

Permavideo

[doeswhathewants]

You know, I read this one about you and the Black Widow, once....ah- nevermind.

[Video

[alwaysangered]

[Bruce looks shocked and amused.]

Where did that come from?

audio;

[boutant]

If it helps, we did have a curse where people wrote these things.

audio:

[charring]

Y'know, I woke up this morning and thought 'Gee, I really should stuff my device in the fridge today'. Now I know why.

[Guess what, Pepper? She's teasing.]

[threeolives]

[ Pepper's face is starting to match her hair. ]

Me and Natasha?

[threeolives]

The internet. Originally. But this particular passage is [ Oh god does she really have to say it? ] bookmarked on my home computer. Back in New York. I don't even have it here, I don't know how the phone could broadcast it.

[threeolives]

It does help, thank you.

[threeolives]

If I thought that cold could prevent this sort of thing, I'd toss mine in a vat of liquid nitrogen. I'm sure Tony left one lying around somewhere.

[charring]

Nah. They're well-build piece of crap nuisances. Unfortunately. It's more a matter of I don't hear it going off. The ticking gets a bit louder but on days like today? Totally worth it. I hate seeing my friends embarrassed.

[doeswhathewants]

Uh huh. There are also very many with Steve and Tony.

Ever thought about that? [Might be teasing.]

[threeolives]

I never thought of that. But then Natasha's not really a public figure in my universe ...yet. If the Avengers end up getting more famous she might become one.

And yes, I've seen [ and bookmarked, don't judge ] a fair amount of ones about Iron Man and Captain America. Just do me a favor, don't mention those to Steve, if you know him? I wouldn't know how to even begin to explain fan fiction to him in a way that wouldn't break his antiquated forties mind.

[threeolives]

Thanks Charlie. Unfortunately, it would seem I'm getting embarrassed whether you see it or not.

[doeswhathewants]

[Challenge accepted.]

I think it was mostly registration that made everyone more known on Midgard. But ah- wasn't actually around for that. As I am now, anyway.

Seen, hm? [Smirky]

[threeolives]

[ No Serrure, Natasha will kill you! ]

Registration?

Yes, I.. You know, no. I'm not going to have this conversation with you. [ The conversation about how after a long, hard day at the office, sometimes Pepper comes home and trolls the internet for bad Tony Stark fan fiction, then saves the ones that are ridiculous and/or hilarious. And, fine, maybe a couple that are actually nice ones about Tony and her that she wishes he would actually do that she reads on days when he's pissing her off. That is a conversation she is NOT having with a teenage boy. ]

[doeswhathewants]

[He'll just run. Because Leah isn't there to defend him T_T ]

Yes. Tony Stark supported it. All super heroes had to register with the government, no more secret identities. Of course, that did not go over well.

Aw, Pepper. I'm a good listener. [No he's not.]

[boutant]

I think Mr. Orange wrote a story about Tony, Steve, and fondue.

[charring]

You need anything, Pepper?

[orangetoughguy]

Wow.

[warmachine]

What is this?

[Video]

[destinedtobeunpopular]

This is definitely a special curse.

[He's doing a very good job suppressing his laughter, okay.]

audio;

[studmuffin]

Not my ship, but hey. I'll take it. Nobody can get fanfiction.net here.

[ He does prefer Cap/Iron Man though, all those heaving muscles. ]