( o1 - AUDIO )

[halves]

[Deep breaths, Lou, deep breaths.

He's still practicing this exercise about a split second before the recording begins, shifting his focus to it immediately, superficially ready to laugh and quip at this silly challenge someone has proposed (forced) him to take part in.

It's nothing but pure nerves, he assures you.]

This is really fucked up. Just thought I should let you know.

[There's an exhale, not quite a laugh. See? Nothing but nerves.]

I guess I'm supposed to say hi now.

Hi. I'm the new guy.

I'd like to know what the fuck you've done to my cat.

Comments

[intheblanks]

I think the point is that no one gets to know.

[There's an attachment with this, a kind of tourist's guide to the city. Chase hates giving the introductory speech.]

[halves]

Is that what this is?

[The question is tentative.]

[intheblanks]

Again, I think the point is that no one gets to know. That's as much as we do.

[halves]

[Wonderful.]

What are we supposed to do while we wait?

[intheblanks]

What do you do at home?

[halves]

[Pops pills, spends his family's money, gets drunk every other night, fails to keep any kind of job, etcetera.]

Nothing. [beat.] I took care of my cat.

[He kind of fails at that, too.]

[intheblanks]

[Chase has been there on at least two of those counts, bro. Just exclude the medication and the work ethic.]

Then I suggest you get one of those.

[He clears his throat.]

There's a welcome centre in the square where they'll give you a bed for the night, and apartments in the twelve buildings round the square. Pick an empty one and you're on a month's grace before the rent's due. But I do recommend the cat.

[halves]

[What do you mean he's actually expected to start acting responsible after being yoinked to an unfamiliar place?

Except. That actually makes this whole ordeal have a little more sense. In a seriously bizarre way.]

Where am I supposed to get the money?

[intheblanks]

Traditionally? You find someone willing to pay it to you.

[halves]

There's the challenge.

[intheblanks]

You'd be surprised how lax the hiring policies can be. Blame turnover.

[halves]

[Ha.]

What do you do?

[intheblanks]

Surgeon. [Well, it's more than that, but Lewis isn't pretty enough for him to show off the full list of job titles.] Doctor Robert Chase.

[halves]

[Why I never]

... Makes sense.

[intheblanks]

How's that?

[halves]

They'd want people like you around, wouldn't they?

[intheblanks]

[Oh what bullshit, Lewis.]

Right, every town needs a few doctors, if it can get them. Needs a hell of a lot more people staffing the reception desks, managing the finances, working the computers and cleaning the floors, though. And that's before you get outside the hospital.

[halves]

[His father was a doctor who liked to point out repeatedly how much society needed people like him and how underestimated doctors really were. This coming from a filthy rich man.]

Is that you trying to be humble?

[intheblanks]

It's me saying people get jobs without medical degrees.