poly_chromatic | ☆ text.

I feel like this is the beginning of a Nigerian email scam.

Hello Dearest Sir or Madam,
In search of a competent person who would handle issues with utmost good
faith and matured confidentaility, i deceided to enlist into your
service

I am Mr. Jason Orange son of former Zimbabwean President, Reverend Canaan
Sodindo Orange who died on monday 21st november 2011.My late father was
president of Zimbabwe from 1980 -1987.He was succeded by the then prime
minister Robert Mugabe who because of political motives supported my
late father former aides and accused him of sexual harrasement with same
sex (homosexuality) which carries a ten years sentence in Zimbabwe.

After an eleven days trial we fled to Botswana after receiving
information that Robert Mugabe and his cohorts are after our lives and
properties thinking my father was making happy with the opposition party.My
father's eleven account in Austria,Luxemburg,swizerland was frozen by
Government of my country.It is only this fund that my father deposited
with this security company declared as personal values that we depend on
as our future survival

My late father went back to zimbabwe were he was convicted for two years
by the help of former south African president Nelson Mandela

To summarise this story, my late father decided to deposit the sum of
$17,200,000USD (seventeen million two hundred thousand united states
dollars) with a private security firm in europe with my name as the
beneficiary.

Since my father is dead now and my mother is seriously ill, I consider
it worthwhile to look for a partner who will assist us in securing the
release of this deposit.For this transaction we will give out 16% for
the assistance, 50% share for possible help on investing in any reliable
venture, 2% to buy personal properties like a house and cars etc when we
relocate to your country.

If you would want to proceed under these terms, please reply for
detailed information.

If you do not accept my offer,please in good fate treat with utmost
confidentiality .

A quick reply with your name,telephone and fax numbers for more
confidential communication will be highly appreciated.

Regards ,
Jason Orange

[Oh, two trolls can play this game! Enjoy the delibrate formatting Angela takes care to input, Zatanna.]

Dear Friend, Read this letter carefully: THIS WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY WON'T STAY OPEN LONG! ******************************************************************** After many attempts of trying to make money on the internet I decided to give this one a try! I have been through this program once already. You have no idea how profitable it is! It is definitely the fastest thing available. We are talking about thousands of dollars in 2 weeks' time...send it to as many people as you can (even though it says 20...trust me). GOOD LUCK...you can't lose!! Don't JUDGE TOO quickly, this might be the answer to all of your problems! If you need to make a few thousands dollars REALLY FAST, then please take a moment to read this simple program I am sharing with you. No, it is NOT what you think! YOU DO NOT have to send $5.00 to five people to buy a report, buy a recipe, or any other product. Nor will you need to invest more money later to get things going. THIS IS THE FASTEST PROGRAM YOU WILL EVER DO! Complete it in ONE HOUR and you will never forget the day you first received it. If you are doing other programs, by all means stay with them, but do this program as well if you CAN'T WAIT two to three months while your other programs start to work for you. The following is a plan to benefit you and your future. To those interested in at-home minimal work to earn profits, this is a great option and much less complicated than the average ad seen in classifieds for 'email processor'. BE PREPARED TO GET EXCITED... YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED! ************************************************************************ Read the following and you will agree this is a very exciting opportunity. Only invest a little bit of time and your reward could mean thousands of dollars! Good luck! "IT'S OUTRAGEOUS!!!, With 2 hours of work I have made over $11,000.00 in the last three weeks... and my investment was just $5.00!!! I LOVE IT! THANK YOU 11,000 X's!!!" -Julie M. St. Louis.

Seems legit.

I mean

Something about lasting longer in bed and pleasing your partner, also Cialis?

Totally is. Oh, excuse me, have this: Have you ever seen a beautiful woman out with an ordinary looking guy and thought, "How did he get a woman like that? He must be rich! I'm as good looking as he is! Why can't I date women like that?" You ask yourself, "What does he have that I don't have?" The answer is not that he is smarter, richer, or better looking. He just knows the secrets! The secrets of meeting and charming beautiful women! He knows where to meet women, he knows what to say, (and what not to say), what to wear, (and what not to wear). Basically, he knows what women respond to. If you think that attractive women only date handsome men, you're wrong! Look around! Over 80% of the women you find attractive have dated and, in many cases, fallen in love with, men who have far less going for them than you. You work hard. You're smart. You would be kinder, more understanding, and more appreciative of her than the clod she is seeing now. What is wrong with this picture? She's not stupid. She's not desperate. Why does she date creeps when there are decent guys like you around? Because decent guys like you often just don't know how to get past the first awkward steps of meeting women. If you don't make some changes now, the next ten years will be no better than the last ten years! Why is it that you can routinely solve difficult and complex problems at work or school, and yet continue to be baffled by women? Women are much easier to understand than computers. When you talk to someone who has never used a computer, they will often tell you that they would never be able to learn something so complicated! They think a person has to be born with skills like that. Do you remember your first computer? Think about how quickly you learned about it, and about how quickly the mystery disappeared. What used to be a challenge is like child's play now, isn't it? Women are not looking for a certain kind of man. They look for a man who knows how to treat them the way they want to be treated. Learning about what women like and don't like is the key to success with them. It's that simple. I can teach you more about attracting and dating women in one night than you have learned so far in your entire life! I have traveled the country interviewing beautiful women to learn these secrets. I have interviewed thousands of attractive women, over the years, in over fifty different cities! I have discovered some amazing things! I learned things that they would NEVER tell you! Even though they wish you knew. Best of all, I have videotaped many of these interviews for you to watch and learn from! Everything you need to know about meeting and charming women is now available to you on four professionally produced full-length video tapes. I'll bet there are thousands of attractive women within ten miles of you right now! Women that would love to be dating a guy like you. Many of these women are lonely. That's why some of them date creeps! Unfortunately, many undeserving creeps know just where to go, how to dress, and what to say. You can do yourself, and the women you would like to meet, a favor by 'getting your act together.' I can teach you how. These videos do not contain my advice. It would be pointless for you to try to follow the advice of any one person. The techniques that work great for one person might not work at all for you. I've seen those books out there on "how to pick up women." What a waste of money! I have purchased and read over 40 such books, as part of my research, and the entire stack doesn't contain enough good information to fill a pamphlet! On each tape you will be able to watch and listen to beautiful women describing in detail exactly what they like, and what turns them off. You will hear hundreds of important questions answered by these women in direct, no holds barred, interviews. You might find some of these interviews hard to listen to. Sometimes, the truth is a bitter pill to swallow. But if you are ready to take a look at yourself and try some new approaches, you will learn that small modifications in your style, in the way you dress, and in what you say can tremendously improve your success with women. Even if you are doing everything 90% right, you will fail. And failing with women is hard to take. No one likes rejection. And every rejection you experience just compounds the problem. Don't be one of those guys who is afraid to try. But don't be one of those guys who goes about it all wrong, either. A lot of those guys end up giving up because they get tired of the rejection. You need the straight story. You need this valuable information that women normally withhold from you. On these four full length videos you can learn EXACTLY what you're doing wrong! Young or old. Fat or thin. Short or tall. Rich or poor. Handsome or plain. If you are not having the success with women that you want, FIND OUT WHY!!! On these video taped interviews you will find simple solutions to simple mistakes that may be creating serious problems in your life. Every man deserves to find romance and happiness. There really is a girl for every boy. There is no reason for you to allow 25% of the men to date 90% of the women. It is a problem that is easy for you to solve. These videos were recently marketed at $39.95 each. Through this promotion we are offering them at only $19.95 each. To Find out more, visit our website! www.somethingaboutstereotypingwomengoeshereandthatswhyyoucantgetlaidalsostopbeingacreepyniceguy.com Don't delay, order now!

Dearest

Please use this money for the Churches and Less Privileged in the world.

Greetings to you and your family in the name of God,in my search for a reliable and God fearing person and having gotten your contact through prayers and pains taking efforts via searching i made on the internet on my bed side.

I have decided to seek your help in carrying out my last wishes.My name is Mrs.Esther Swally, I'm a 58 years old woman and my Country is Sierra- Leone,I was a merchant and owned two businesses in Dubai,i was also married with two children.

My husband and my two children where involved in a plane crash in the Dec,25th Bef ore this happened,my business and concern for making money was all I care for,i never really cared about other values in life.

But since the loss of my family, I have found a new desire to assist helpless families,i have been helping orphans in orphanage/motherless,i have also donated some money for humanitarian needs,only recently I saw on television the colossal loss of properties and livelihood people in Canberra, Australia through fire.

I was moved with great pity and compassion that I decided to make this contribution on assisting people over there or any part of the world like Asia/ Europe and America that might still need any financial help,i have kept (US.6 Million) Six Million United States Dollars in a long-term deposit in a Finance company in Cotonou Benin Republic West Africa.

Presently, I'm in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for Oesophagi Cancer at International Memorial Hospital Cotonou.

I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only few weeks to live,It is my last wish to see this money distributed to victims of the fire outbreak in Australia and other charity organization in the World like i said,i have enclosed for you the Current Photogragh I took below Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness,I cannot live with the agony entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them.

Please, I beg you in the name of God to help me collect the deposit with the help of my Pastor and distributes it accordingly Use your judgment to distribute the money an d keep 30% of it to yourself.
Again I will allow you to communicate with the financial company directly upon the receipt of your reply because I want this project to be completed before the end of this month before i die according to the Doctor.

Please If you are willing to help,please reply by including ;

1.Your Full Name;

2. Phone number

3. Age:

I am waiting for your response immediately,

God bless you.

Sure, have all my info. Do you want my SSN and checking account number too? I feel terrible.

Favorite color, the name of the first street you lived on, and your favorite president, too, please.

Cerise, Terain, Obama. Is this my porn star name now?

It's a pretty good one, if it is.

I'm sure the last name alone will get me lots of roles.

People have weird fetishes.

If they're willing to pay me for them, I'm willing to entertain them with some.

Just make sure to read the fine print. Showbiz can be tricksy like that.

Everything goes through my agent/lawyer/doorman/guy who delivers my mail.

Then I'd say you're safe.

Hi. I'm Zatanna.

[Unlike Freddy, Angela can hold back her comic book fangirling.]

I know. Angela.

Nice to meet you, Angela.

You know, aside from the whole creepy "I know" thing.

You did announce your name on the Network a few days ago.

[That's her excuse and she's sticking to it.]

And here I thought I was being sneaky. :(

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