poly_chromatic | 14 ∞ ENCOUNTER

[accidental voice]

[ You know, it's a mark of how much the Doctor has run into Abed lately that he doesn't even feel surprised when he sees Abed dressed up in a strange costume. (The Doctor is in TARDIS blue text, Abed in DARSIT red.)]

Oh, is it the Pillow Lord again?

I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone else, good sir. I am Inspector Spacetime. I'm looking for a young constable named Reggie - have you seen him?

[ The Doctor sounds amused.] No luck. I've been hearing a lot about you, Inspector.

Really? Curious. I have not been to this planet before. Though perhaps my future self has been here in the past...

Never realized how disorienting it is to hear that one from the other side. We might have more in common than I realized.

Are you a time traveler as well?

Been known to do a bit of travel through space and time, yes.

You have a DARSIT as well then?

It's called a TARDIS. Makes a better acronym.

What in space does that stand for?

Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, of course. What's yours?

Dimension and Relative Space in Time. Can your TARDIS scan for alien life forms?

Oh, probably, if she feels like it. Gets a bit jumbled up here with all the residents.

Could I trouble you to scan for my constable? I've been separated from the DARSIT otherwise I would do it myself.

Well. [ He likes showing off the TARDIS. ] Couldn't hurt to help out a fellow traveler. Come along, then.

I'm obliged to you, Doctor.

Don't mention it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[They reach the TARDIS, and Abed examines it critically.]

Doesn't it stand out a bit?

This? Oh, no, blends right in. It's not like I made it red or something.

[ He pulls his key out of his pocket and unlocks it. ]

What do you mean? Red would blend in so much better. People see something that's red and go "Oh, stop" and move on with their lives. But blue? People look at that and go "What's that weird box? And why is it blue?"

[ The Doctor snorts. ] Not in my experience. I wandered around Victorian England in this thing, no one made a peep. Are you coming or not?

[ And he opens the door. ]

[He doesn't look impressed.]

Coming.

[He follows the Doctor in and looks around.]

[ The Doctor gestures broadly, clearly proud to show off his ship. ]

Here she is.

[ Everybody reacted differently, but his personal favorite was "it's bigger on the inside!" He expected something similar from Abed, who was, after all, not a real fake Time Lord, or whatever. ]

Not as big as I expected. Is this your control center?

[ SO WOUNDED. ]

[ But a quick recovery. ]

This is just the antechamber, this. She's got plenty of other space to play around with. And this is my console, yes. [ he puts a hand on it affectionately. ]

[Abed starts examining it, poking things at random. He seems to have forgotten all about Constable Reggie.]

Hey now, be careful what you touch! 'S not a toy.

Of course it's not. Your thermawidgets seem to be out of alignment. You might want to look into that.

Thermawidg-- [ He goes over to investigate anyway, like a mother hen. He can't help it. ] Are you an expert on time machines, then?

Of course! Not knowing how to fly your time machine is the fastest way to get killed traveling through time and space. [He thinks about that.] Maybe not quite the fastest way, but it's still not a good idea.

14 ∞ ENCOUNTER

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