002 // Audio

[bythreadalone]

 So. Today's one of those days where the deities have their fun with us, huh? A little embarrassment for breakfast, with some awkward looks and quick switch overs to audio-mode before noon -- I get it, I get it. I've fallen into a world where Deadpool and Arcade run things; no sweat.  

[ A beat. He sounds calm, but slightly embarassed at the same time. ]

Just...Let me finish making a PG13 filter for this thing.

[ And then, off-handedly: ]

Then again, I do some of my best work in the buff.

[...]

Anyone know if there's some kind of equivalent exchange going on with these curses? Maybe one day they're just silly, then the next they're terrible -- that kind of thing?

Comments

[bythreadalone]

Woah, hold up. You what?

Are you staying by yourself, Serrue?

[doeswhathewants]

He lured me down into the Underground, then bite me. Luckily, he has vampire healing spit or something, so I did not die.

No, the situation is a little... less than perfect. The girl I am staying with, she is very naive and thinks that he is her friend. I cannot leave her alone, because I am certain he will hurt her eventually, if he hasn't already.

[bythreadalone]

Haven't you gone to the authorities yet? There has to be some law against biting minors in this place.

[doeswhathewants]

What authorities?

He claims to be entirely immortal.

[bythreadalone]

There has to be some kind of system of laws in this place. It's too disorganized for their not to be.

[doeswhathewants]

Justin said there was a police force, but, I imagine they are mostly canon fodder.

[bythreadalone]

You never know until you try, right?

[doeswhathewants]

Oh, but I do. Police are the same everywhere. Mostly inept, often corrupt. One or two good ones, but I'd rather they not get hurt for something that is already done.

[bythreadalone]

Woah, you are seriously jaded for a kid, Serrue.

How much experience do you have with the police, anyway?

[doeswhathewants]

I do not exactly see you objecting or arguing my point. [Amused.]

Quite a bit. They like to roust us to impress the tourists into thinking they actually do things. And some of them hold grudgers for just a bit of fun we've had at their expense.

[bythreadalone]

I live in New York. [...] I love the force to death, don't get me wrong, but -- I live in New York.

[ Hm. BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT PETER. ]

You get in a lot of trouble, back home?

[doeswhathewants]

See? Keystone cops. Mostly corrupt and otherwise inept.

[No, Peter, be a cool adult. He thinks you're mostly cool already.]

Unavoidable. Goes with the territory.

[bythreadalone]

Being the erstwhile King of Thieves and all that. You ever get caught?

[doeswhathewants]

Never. It is why I am the king. I have never met a lock or a deck of cards that I was not master of.

[bythreadalone]

I'd clap, but I think I'm not supposed to. You know, being an adult and everything.

[ Just the tiniest laugh. ]

[doeswhathewants]

Yes, but you are a cool adult. I can tell. The ones who allow children to express themselves and ah... such.

[bythreadalone]

Well, I was a teacher for awhile, Serrue. It's kind of my job to let you guys express yourselves. [ Another laugh. ] But I have to be responsible too, you know?

I don't know if I'll remember any of this when we get back, but if I do...I think I'd like to meet you back on our world, if you'd let me.

[doeswhathewants]

Well, you do not have to be responsible. You do not teach any longer? Why not?

Should you remember, I would like that. So long as you heed the gentle warning that I carry a knife and if you turn out to be weirdo- not that I think you are- but, you know, one cannot be too careful... [Nah, he just runs. Really, really fast.]

[bythreadalone]

Well, mm...How do I put it? I guess you could say that I had other responsibilities, at the time? [ Lying through his teeth. He says it kind of fast. ]...And it wasn't really fair to the kids, so I left the position. Right now I'm working at Horizon Labs.

[ He lets that sink in. ]

I can promise you, we'd just talk. You're a pretty bright kid and I think you could be doing more than just stealing to make a living.

[doeswhathewants]

Other responsibilities. That, in my experience, tends to be a polite way of saying you knocked someone up. But you are not so easy a read. [Tips his head] Some kind of scientist, then? Do you make cool stuff, at least? Experiment on people- with informed consent, of course?

That, I well know. But this is more fun than wasting my time trapped at the whims of others.

1/2

[bythreadalone]

Knocked someone...! [ ASpduaspdou. ] Serrue, not everything is a daytime drama, geez! I resigned because my Aunt got sick, and then Tony Stark went through his whole megalomaniac phase. It wasn't safe.

[bythreadalone]

Basically, I just patent and improve on things that I've helped Spider-man develop over the years. [ He says it so matter-of-factly. ] No experimentation on people, though. Sorry! I kind of have a conscience.

[doeswhathewants]

You know Tony Stark and Spiderman? ...do you know Wolverine? He is so cool. Spiderman helps make his own uh- stuff? Well, I suppose that is a better mental image than spinnerets in awkward places and coming by his webbing organically.

If one considers the precedent of who has been claimed by this place from our world, and the other one that is like ours, it is not so far fetched to wager you are someone important.

Ah, but I thought megalomania was Tony Stark's thing?