☞ 017. (video)

[wouldnotkindly]

So, yesterday... [Jack looks significantly better than the last time he showed up on the network, but today he looks ill at ease. He doesn't seem to have gotten much sleep in the time since, either.] That was supposed to be our fathers haunting us, right?

I guess the City has a loose definition of what counts as a father. [A man who built a city at the bottom of the sea. A conman who sometimes called him boyo.] Either that or it couldn't pick just one.

[Then he sighs tiredly and drags a hand over his face.] Would've been better if it didn't even try. But that's too much to ask, isn't it?

Comments

[wouldnotkindly]

[He nods, though it's something of an absent gesture.]

Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if I still didn't know...about what I am. But I don't know if it'd really be worth it.

[rudeandginger]

There's no point wondering. You were bound to find out eventually, I'm sure.

[wouldnotkindly]

Eventually. [There was no avoiding finding out, one way or another.] But, still...

[He drinks again and lets his head drop to his chest.]

I don't know. [He doesn't know what comes next.]

[rudeandginger]

You'll get used to it. It's ridiculous what you'll adapt to.

[wouldnotkindly]

I hope so.

[He says it with a sigh and knocks back the rest of his glass.]

As long as I stay here, anyway...instead of going home again. [Where his only prospect is getting back at Fontaine, or, failing that, a watery grave. Neither are ones he considers with eagerness.]

[rudeandginger]

Good luck with that attempt. It doesn't seem like people stay here forever.

[wouldnotkindly]

[He nods again, staring down at his empty glass.]

Even with all the curses and everything else... I think I'd be better off if I did.

At least I have friends here.

[rudeandginger]

[Turlough gives him a long look. He's not sure if he's ever had friends, not real ones. Not until the Doctor, maybe. But even that...]

'Friends' is a stupidly quaint idea.

But I know what you mean.

[wouldnotkindly]

[At least Turlough can say with confidence that his relationships, no matter their nature, actually existed. Jack would rather not think of most of the only people he knows he's ever known.]

Well... At least there are people here who don't try to kill me on sight. [To say the least.] And that I can get along with, and... Well— you know.

[rudeandginger]

That's all one can hope for, I suppose.

[He fixes him with another look, leaning on him fairly heavily now (or at least as heavily as someone who weights 110lbs soaking wet can).]

Were you planning on finishing that thought in the near future?

[wouldnotkindly]

[All that leaning — not to mention whatever he might be implying, knowing Turlough — is bringing a slight tinge to his face. He clears his throat and sets his glass back on the counter, tipping it again.]

You, uh... You said you knew what I meant.

[rudeandginger]

All the same, you shouldn't let sentences trail off in that way. It implies a lack of conviction.

[brb, going back over to the other side of the kitchen now to get more ice.]

[wouldnotkindly]

[That's a slight relief. Jack glances down at himself before watching Turlough again.]

It doesn't feel like I've got much of that to spare these days.

[rudeandginger]

You should work on that. Things don't get easier unless you stick up for yourself.

[wouldnotkindly]

I can stick up for myself just fine. [He thinks.] I just... I don't feel like I have anything left there that's worth fighting for. Except myself.

[rudeandginger]

And that isn't enough?

[wouldnotkindly]

Maybe. [He's back to staring down again.] If a genetic freakshow like me is worth fighting for, anyway.

[rudeandginger]

Don't be an idiot.

[He crosses back over so he can shove at Jack's side with a lethally sharp elbow.]

There are plenty of genetic freakshows in the universe who would take offense to that.

[wouldnotkindly]

[Ow, hey. Jack looks at Turlough like he doesn't entirely believe him.]

Then what am I supposed to do when I go back again? Figure out some way to get back to the surface, where there's nothing waiting for me? Or just die like I was supposed to at the bottom of the ocean?

[rudeandginger]

How the hell am I supposed to know?

[Turlough pushes himself off the counter, arms crossed in a sulk. It takes him a moment before he can speak again, staring intently at his shoes instead of making eye contact.]

I can never go home, either. I don't even know what would be left of my planet if I did.

[wouldnotkindly]

[Jack doesn't know what to say to that. But he does suppose it's not really fair of him to cry over never having had a home or family when Turlough had both and (presumably) lost them.]

Sorry. [But he doesn't like to hear that, does he?] I mean...for all the moping.

[rudeandginger]

[They're each horrible in their own way, really.]

You should be. It isn't terribly attractive.

[wouldnotkindly]

[He'd really rather not try to compare them, no.

Anyway, that tinge is back.] I, uh...wasn't really trying to be, but I'll keep it in mind.

[rudeandginger]

I know you weren't. It's part of what makes you so insufferable.

[wouldnotkindly]

Insufferable? [That's a new one.] Wait, why am I insufferable?