☤ seventy-six

[as_damaged]

[TEXT MESSAGES - POSTED ACCIDENTALLY]

(06:30) Cameron: changed my mind. come over here and we'll get that drink
(06:58) Cameron: hello?
(07:02) Cameron: i'm not waiting forever



[ooc; feels like the first time. Cameron's high, and doesn't realize she's not at home yet. Replies likely to be somewhat muddled since she's not quite herself <3]

Comments

[as_damaged]

Why should I let you?

[Chin up, the same old look in her eyes, though they look too dark, the pupils huge. Disappointment makes her defensive; she was sure he'd go for it. (And, once, she wasn't wrong.) Now it's puzzling, and more than a little embarrassing.]

[intheblanks]

Maybe if you didn't want to be alone right now.

[Not to mention that he'll be staying with her until the come down, whether she likes it or not.]

[as_damaged]

I called looking for casual sex. I'm not lonely.

[She tugs her arm away, still irrational; still angry. He has the advantage (he always does, now,) of knowing what's pure pretense and what's a half truth, but it's not going to buy any kindness now.

Of course, she has nowhere to go, no one else she'd call.]

[intheblanks]

I didn't say you were lonely. Not everybody waits until they're miserable to attempt social contact.

[Not everyone's as special as you, Cameron. Chase tries to sit up and look a little more dignified about this.]

We could watch a movie. We could watch a dirty movie.

[That, and the eyebrow raise that goes along with it, though, are intended to be ridiculous. Come on, smile and make everything better.]

[as_damaged]

[She doesn't look pleased at the prospect, glancing away to stare a moment at the back of the sofa. Everything seems a little off; she chalks it up to the high, which might be a blessing in disguise. At least she's not freaking out about where she is.]

I could do that myself.

[Slowly she slips off the edge of the couch to stand beside it.]

[intheblanks]

There are plenty of things you could do yourself.

[He twists a hand into his hair, a frustrated substitute for pulling it out. There may not be a way for this to go well, but it could be going better.]

Do you really think I don't want to sleep with you? Seriously? There are just other things that are more important to me right now. Like how you're going feel about it in the morning.

[as_damaged]

So tomorrow has to ruin tonight?

[It always does when she's sober, which is what she's trying to get away from. She looks away, because the last thing she wants to do is explain any of this.]

You should go.

[Not that she can do much to force the issue.]

[intheblanks]

As opposed to tonight ruining tomorrow? What's the difference.

[If you still want me on the morning, then things might be different. But he doesn't say it, it's a challenge to someone she hasn't yet become.]

You don't have HIV. This isn't your last chance to do something crazy with your life. You do good with your life, Cameron, not taking drugs and screwing around isn't a flaw.

[as_damaged]

I'm not planning to make a habit of it.

[Or of you, her tone adds for her. The rest she won't address. As far as she knows there's no way he could know that. Maybe the best she can hope for is that Kalvin's right, that a death sentence can be liberating. Six weeks, three months, six months. Maybe that's why he's turning her down, and he's right to do so.]

You don't need to stay. [Flatly.] Really.

[intheblanks]

[It's code for get out, he recognises that.]

I can't leave while you're still tripping. I'd like to stay.

[as_damaged]

I'm not incapable.

[Only a coded order because saying it outright doesn't seem to help. She rolls her eyes, and takes a step or two away, towards the hallway.]

Stay out here if you want.

[intheblanks]

[Well he's always been persistent.]


Can I make coffee?

[as_damaged]

[She can't call the cops on him, after all.]

I don't care.

[intheblanks]

[She did make the invitation very public. He stands, nods.]

Thanks.

[as_damaged]

[That doesn't merit a response, either, and she turns away, pausing for a long moment with uncertainty she doesn't want to show; she must be worse off than she thinks if she doesn't recognize her own home.

But it doesn't last, it's easy enough to guess where her bedroom is. There's a certain vicious pleasure in slamming the door.]

[intheblanks]

[He'll always remember exactly how she likes her coffee. Giving it ten minutes, at least long enough for her to wonder if she's taken a hallucinogen, he knocks at the door. And opens it.]

[as_damaged]

[She's sprawled on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Confusion and disappointment don't mix well with euphoria; she's closer to a panic now, trying to reason herself out of it.]

What?

[She rather doubts he's had a change of heart.]

[intheblanks]

[Balancing two mugs, he crosses to the side of the bed before crouching and holding hers out.]

Here. You said you were taking me up on that drink.

[as_damaged]

[She reaches, still laying on her back, before she thinks the better of it and rolls over, though all she does is put it right on the nightstand.]

Nothing's going to happen if you go.

[intheblanks]

You're not kicking me out before I finish this?

[He offers a hint of compromise in that, whether he'll actually leave at the bottom of his coffee mug or not. But only a hint - he's sitting on the floor for want of anything else that isn't the bed.]

It's been a long day.

[as_damaged]

Long.

[A trace of bitterness. She rolls back over, but shifts and props herself up on the pillows as she does. It's probably too much to hope that he'll leave, but maybe he'll leave her, at least. It's irrational to lash out, but it's at least a distraction.]

A long day, [she echoes, because... she doesn't want to think.]

[intheblanks]

Long. Time doesn't exactly fly when you're put at contagion risk.

[He folds his arms over the edge of the bed, chin resting on them, looking up at her.]

I'd be scared as hell and looking for a way to let it out, too. Have you considered talking?

[as_damaged]

I'm sure that would help.

[Bitterly, as she looks anywhere but at him.]

I'd rather not think about it.

[A distraction, that's what she wanted. Not all she wanted-- as simple as she wants this to be it really is more complicated than that-- but for tonight, it would suffice.]

[intheblanks]

Alright.

[He sighs softly and, predicting resistance, pulls himself up onto the bed beside her. If she'll let him close enough, he'll wrap his arms around her and hold on.]

So stop thinking.

[as_damaged]

[She tenses as he moves and does pull away, though there's not so far she can go, being a little too unsteady to stand. When he reaches for her she rolls onto her side to face him, voice low.]

I was trying.

[It's not a pass at him, though there's an element of what might have been in the look she gives him, her eyes wide and dark, half-lidded.]