poly_chromatic | Accidental Video

[The device flickers on showing two pairs of legs. One is wearing jeans and black boots. The other pair of legs belongs to something not even remotely human. There's some runes chalked on the concrete in what appears to be some sort of circle. There's also a thick line of salt in a circle outside of the runed one. The silence is puncuated by some grunts and whimpers through grit teeth and then, quite suddenly, a gurgled scream.

There's a whirring sound and the device lens unfocuses and pans back to refocus. Dean Winchester is in the middle of the circle and the non-human is something from the Underground with way too many teeth. The monster is hanging from a hook on a chain, the type used to move cargo or meat around. The monster's arms are over his head and his legs are bound with another chain. Dean has the point of a knife dug into the monster's shoulder and he's twisting it, placing just enough pressure on the knife to keep ti drilling into the monster's shoulder as he twists it in slow rotations. There's already a good deal of thick, red blood on the floor and from the looks of Dean's injuries (mostly superficial, recieved when he caught the monster) it's not his blood. The monster on the other hand isn't doing so well. He's covered in blood and hanging sort of slack against the chain.

The most disturbing part isn't the way the monster is trussed up or the open toolbox displaying a wide variety of things that could, and judging from the blood stains on them, have been used to torture the monster. The most disturbing part is the look on Dean's face.

Someone's enjoying this and it isn't the monster.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Crap [He scrubs his hand over his hair.] CEO of torture in Hell. Big time demon.

Oh my god. [Is Dean saying what Sam thinks he is?] They made you... they made you torture him?

[Dean shrugs.] Guess they were fresh out of the usual line up.

Jesus. Dean... [He doesn't know what to say.] Dean, you know that's not... that's not your fault, right?

Yeah. I got it. [He does. Kind of. It's not that he tortured the demon for Cas. Dean's tortured demons before and will again.] I was just the best man for the job.

[That's the kicker. The part that grabs him by the throat and squeezes.]

[Sam can practically see that.]

No. No, that's... Dean, they can't put that on you. I mean, if you were... if you were down there in Hell, and they got you out, they could've kept you from going. They could have made it so none of that had to happen. Hell, I bet they could have reversed time or something. This is not on you.

It's fucked up, Sam. I'm not even going to try and tell you it's not, but they've got things all lined up. Ducks in a friggin' row. [No, it's not on him. At least not that part, and he knows it. He takes a deep breath, feeling more confessional than he has in a long time.] They tried to break Dad. Tortured him for a hundred years down there. He never broke. Not one friggin' second.

[And that's the heart of the problem. Because John was strong enough to withstand unending torture and never break, never turn that torture on an innocent soul to save his own skin a minute of mercy, Dean knows that he should have been that strong as well. He failed. When it counts, he always fails: Saving Sam, staying strong, protecting Lisa and Ben. Dean fails like it's a business and he's a CEO, or at least that's what he thinks.]

Dean... [Sam is quiet for a moment, searching for the best way to say this.] Did you ever think that's because Dad wasn't the stronger one? I know you idolize the man, but... he didn't keep this family together. You did. Bad shit happened to him, and he broke--just in a different way. You did what you needed to do and he did whatever he wanted. I don't think that makes you weaker. I think it means you care.

[Dean purses his lips, quiet for a bit as he processes that and comes up with a response.] Sometimes, I can't tell which is one is better, Sam. Dad's way where he only hurt and disappointed us or my way, where everyone gets hurt.

[Because Dean does care and he'd rather disappoint and hurt the entire damn world than end up with a disappointed and hurt baby brother. Of course, he thinks this time, he ended up doing both.]

Well for what it's worth--and not that you should count on what I think, but for what it's worth--you've never disappointed me.

[There's enough emphasis there for it to be clear who did disappoint him. Sam hadn't left Palo Alto for Dad. He'd left for Dean. And of all the things he regrets--and yes, leaving is one of them, because of what happened to Jess--he can't regret the Dean part.]

You're pretty much the only person who hasn't.

[Dean looks at him with disbelief etched into his features. How can Sam not be disappointed in what he did? After a moment, Dean just nods, tears in his eyes. He's way too choked up with emotion to say a word.]

[He could have. He's scared Sam a lot, that's for sure. And Sam doesn't quite know what to make of what he's seen. But he trusts Dean. And he knows there are reasons. And the fact that Dean could say the things he had meant Sam could still believe in him. If he'd denied it, if he'd tried to excuse his behavior... then Sam would have been let down. Dean can make mistakes. What Sam can't handle is Dean not trusting him.]

Let's go home.

Accidental Video

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