poly_chromatic | Accidental Video

[The device flickers on showing two pairs of legs. One is wearing jeans and black boots. The other pair of legs belongs to something not even remotely human. There's some runes chalked on the concrete in what appears to be some sort of circle. There's also a thick line of salt in a circle outside of the runed one. The silence is puncuated by some grunts and whimpers through grit teeth and then, quite suddenly, a gurgled scream.

There's a whirring sound and the device lens unfocuses and pans back to refocus. Dean Winchester is in the middle of the circle and the non-human is something from the Underground with way too many teeth. The monster is hanging from a hook on a chain, the type used to move cargo or meat around. The monster's arms are over his head and his legs are bound with another chain. Dean has the point of a knife dug into the monster's shoulder and he's twisting it, placing just enough pressure on the knife to keep ti drilling into the monster's shoulder as he twists it in slow rotations. There's already a good deal of thick, red blood on the floor and from the looks of Dean's injuries (mostly superficial, recieved when he caught the monster) it's not his blood. The monster on the other hand isn't doing so well. He's covered in blood and hanging sort of slack against the chain.

The most disturbing part isn't the way the monster is trussed up or the open toolbox displaying a wide variety of things that could, and judging from the blood stains on them, have been used to torture the monster. The most disturbing part is the look on Dean's face.

Someone's enjoying this and it isn't the monster.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Unless I've misunderstood, you killed because you were protecting people. You went to Hell in an act of self-sacrifice. Did you go insane in thirty years, or was thirty years enough time for you to see yourself in everyone you tortured? Did you join the police force here to continue your work or, at least in part, to ease your own guilt?

That's why I joined--and why I joined again, once I came back to the City. Out of guilt... maybe with the hope that, eventually, I'd redeem myself.

[Justin sounds distanced from what he's saying. He's had plenty of time to think about this.]

Maybe, eventually, we become something other people can kill.

I didn't go insane. [The other, well for the most part, Justin is right. It wasn't just self-sacrifice though. It was probably the most selfish thing Dean has ever done. He doesn't want to live in a world without Sam. End of story.] I joined the police force because I could actually...save people. At home, it's...it's not about saving people anymore. It's about surviving and just barely. It's not like that here.

[The redemption comment gets a harsh, bitter laugh out of Dean. Hell, he's started this confessional bullshit. He might as well run with it.] There's no redemption for someone like me. You--you're a good kid, Justin. Little creepy but hey, not judging. You just got in over your head. You'll be okay.

[He feels like it's necessary to make sure Justin knows he can be saved because Dean does believe that Justin is a good kid and more than that, he's a kid. He gets a second, third, fourth and fifth chance.]

Yeah? I figure I can stand to go out like that.

At least you have reasons. Who would fault you for killing to survive? Who wouldn't kill to survive?

You don't get to choose who's damned and who's not, Dean. I strangled an innocent woman because I wanted to do something that mattered to someone--anyone. There's no significant reason to it; there's no undoing it. Surely that's no better than what you've done.

[Dean should have meet Cassie. There are no second chances. You get one life; you can't start over. You have to live with what you've done.]

Are you willing to let yourself become a monster?

Here, I don't kill innocent people. I save them. In Hell? I tortured them. And it's not like it is here. No one dies in Hell. You don't pass out from pain in Hell. You don't go numb and when the guy torturing you runs out of skin to burn, cut and freeze, Hell reskins you and gives him a whole new canvas to work with. I was the guy doing the torture for ten years. Not everyone in Hell is awful. Some of 'em just made deals.

[He gets that. It's one of the reasons he drinks so damn much.]

Let? That implies I'm going to stop fighting it.

I know.

[He doesn't indicate to what part of Dean's response he's replying to.]

It doesn't sound like you're against the idea. Acceptance is only a step away from giving up.

I'm self-aware.

I don't quit. Sometimes I'd like to give up, but I can't. There's too many people counting on me. [What he means is Sam counts on him. If Sam weren't here, there'd be a lot bigger chance of him giving up.]

If there weren't, would you stop fighting?

[He considers that a very long moment. It's clear that it's a question he's struggling with.]

Sam could always show up. He left and came back once.

[That's a no, but clearly Sam is pretty much the only thing that keeps Dean on this side of being a human being.]

[Justin can read between the lines and, although that's the answer he expected, it isn't necessarily the one he was hoping for.]

But without Sam...

Please try to keep anything else you're compelled to do today private. The police force apparently has some opposition.

[Dean shrugs at the trailing statement.]

Yeah, I'm sticking the damn device in the glove box.

[And now he's awkward for a moment.]

Uhm...thanks, Dude.

Good idea.

[dismissive shrug] You're welcome.

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