( o5 video )

[wearafeznow]

[ The video starts with a pan in on someone wearing tight trousers and big, stomping boots. Whoever it is, skips along three pavement slabs, and then hops to the middle of the next one, stands on his tiptoes and wavers. ]

Oh come on, that's not the right point. Nine hundred years old and I should be able to skip a point fourteen. What kind of person am I? Honestly.

[ It's very much the Doctor's voice, and he sighs, starts jumping again. ] I don't know why, but I just can't get the number out of my head. [ 1, 2, 3, wavering slightly on the fourth again. ] I made three cups of tea today, filled up the fourth up only a little bit. Good thing too, I like to think even I can't drink that much tea. A full fourth might've been pushing it. Maybe that's why I can't keep still.

[ Skip. Hop. Jump. Wobble. ] Oh c'mon. This is awful. Why can't I get this right at all?

Comments

[conesoldstober]

Wii?

[Howl's from the 80s. Help him out here.]

My niece is still rather a big fan of skipping. Perhaps I should send her the membership details.

[wearafeznow]

It's a -- little bat. Computer. Bowling. I'm not sure. You should ask Pond, she has one. Well, her and Rory, well they did, but I broke it.

[ Another bright smile. ] That would be wonderful, I'd highly recommend it.

[conesoldstober]

Ah. My nephew Neil is rather into all of that computer business. I have to bribe him with a new game anytime I want a straight answer out of him about something. Can't say I've ever seen any games with a bat yet. I suppose it's only a matter of time.

[wearafeznow]

Ah, time. I suppose I should actually ask when you're from. I have a problem with that. [ A self-conscious smile. ] Actually, I should probably start with the name thing.

[conesoldstober]

Llanelli, Wales, 1986. And also Porthaven, Ingary, 1891. I don't spend much time in Wales anymore.

Howl Pendragon. And you are?

[wearafeznow]

The Doctor, everywhere, all times. [ Beaming. ] Hello Howl Pendragon, brilliant name, not so sure how the time thing works. But I'm sure you won't mind telling me, right?

[conesoldstober]

Yes, it is rather brilliant, isn't it? [Beats Howell Jenkins, that's for sure.] Is 'The Doctor' something you chose for yourself?

There's a portal between Wales and Ingary. It's run out of the university in Swansea, but if you get as good as I am you can make one of your own into your sister's front hall.

[wearafeznow]

Yes, not amedical profession but still a Doctor. I've grown rather attached.

A portal, you say? [ Peering at him properly. ] Why would there be a portal from Swansea? Nobody ever really goes to Swansea, do they?

[conesoldstober]

I could pretend to be offended for my homeland, but you're right. No one bloody wants to go to Swansea. The portal's more there to get people out.

[wearafeznow]

Should Swansea even have a portal in that time?

[conesoldstober]

Perhaps it shouldn't, but it does anyway, so there's no use fighting it. And bloody good thing it does too or else I never would have found Ingary, and probably would have ended up doing something respectable with my life.

[wearafeznow]

So where's Ingary then? Some other sort of Welsh place? [ He's pulling a face as he speaks. ] Nobody ever wants to do anything respectable.

[conesoldstober]

It's a parallel universe, roughly where England is. Late Victorian technology, and magic is widely used.

[wearafeznow]

Oh, but that sounds brilliant. I love a bit of magic now and again.

[conesoldstober]

[Oh Doctor. He likes you. You can stay.]

That's good, then. Because you happen to be speaking to the Royal Wizard of Ingary.

[wearafeznow]

Ooh. [ Look, he's impressed. ] Should I bow?

[conesoldstober]

I'd rather you didn't.

[wearafeznow]

Well good, all the skipping has made me a bit dizzy. [ Still. Grinning. ]

[conesoldstober]

So if you're not a medical doctor, what are you a doctor of?

[wearafeznow]

A little bit of everything, actually. It's an umbrella thing.

[conesoldstober]

Sounds exciting. And not even remotely respectable.

[wearafeznow]

[ With a soft tch sound. ] Who'd want to go and be a thing like that?

[conesoldstober]

It's never been anything I've aspired to, I can safely say.

[wearafeznow]

Well good, you seem like a bloke after my own hearts.

[conesoldstober]

Hearts, plural? Some people could call that greedy, Doctor.