three drinks

[minigolfandsushi]

[video/action]

[The camera clicks on as Peter walks across his basement room, wearing nothing but boxers. He idly scratches his balls before digging through a pile of clothes, looking for something reasonably clean. He's trying - and failing - to ignore the song playing.]

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

[Patience has never been one of his virtues.]

IT'S SUNDAY YOU STUPID COW!


[Scowling, he pulls on a pair of jeans and heads to the bathroom. Abruptly, the song changes.]

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
(Hey, what up girl?)
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
(Lets go)
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back


Now there's an idea!

[And it's back to his pile of clothes. Moments later, he emerges triumphant with a bottle of...something. God only knows what.]

Comments

audio:

[charring]

What is that god-awful noise? [Jesus Christ. And then this happens.]

[valentineluke]

'Lovely'.

audio:

[minigolfandsushi]

Better than that shit you're listening to. Nickelback? Are you fucking kidding me?

[minigolfandsushi]

I'm sensing a little sarcasm at play here.

Audio:

[charring]

Hey, I don't choose the songs. I can't tolerate Nickelback. I'd rather have a root canal without pain medication.

Audio:

[minigolfandsushi]

Maybe the City's trying to tell you to go to the dentist?

Audio:

[charring]

I'm not the one brushing my teeth with Jack. [That's a smile in her voice.] I'm going to take you to the laundromat and teach you how to use the machines there. Because clearly this needs to be done. And then I'm cooking you dinner. And no, this isn't flirting or hitting on you. You're not my type. This is me being nice.

Audio:

[minigolfandsushi]

I don't "do" nice. [Yes. He means that "do".]

Audio to video:

[charring]

[Fffff. Peter. She switches to video and gives him a 'look'.]

[valentineluke]

Your astounding display of perception is impressive.

[totallyinaband]

I can't believe you got hit with Rebecca Black. Tough one, man.

[boutant]

... Did you just scratch your balls on the network?

[ Oh, hello music. One hand goes to cover her face for a moment. ]

If whatever you're drinking helps with this, let me know.

Video:

[worldofourown]

I trust you didn't really brush your teeth with with the contents in that bottle. That'd leave quite a reek...

[anunluckypenny]

Yelling at curses doesn't usually fix anything.

[And then this begins to play. Penny reddens.]

Oh god.

video;

[minigolfandsushi]

[Peter breaks out into a wide grin that is as genuinely amused as it is lecherous]

Are you trying to tell me something? Because I do have eyes.


...and you are definitely too sexy for that shirt.

Re: Video:

[minigolfandsushi]

It's quite a nice smelling liquor, actually. Though the aftertaste is horrid.

[minigolfandsushi]

What, got a problem with my balls?

[He takes a glug of his drink.]

I don't know what you're complaining about. Your DJ's not bad.

[minigolfandsushi]

Is that her name? She should be arrested as a war criminal and charged with crimes against humanity.

Video:

[worldofourown]

In that case, I'd advise against kissing anyone. Or breathing on them.

[minigolfandsushi]

And there's more! You should get that looked at, mate. Might be a sign of low blood sugar.

video;

[minigolfandsushi]

[Peter 'looks' back.]

I can do this all day, sweetheart.

Video:

[minigolfandsushi]

Fortunately, the Network doesn't broadcast in Smell-o-vision. Otherwise I'd breathe on you right now.

Re: video;

[anunluckypenny]

No! No, I'm not--I don't have any control over it please stop or switch to another song please...

[In an act of mercy sadism, the City complies and a new song begins. Penny is absolutely horrified. So horrified, in fact, that she goes back on her own advice.]

Stupid City! You're not helping!

[boutant]

Your balls and I don't know each other well enough for me to have a problem with them.

[ That probably sounded like an invitation of some sort. It wasn't one. ]

It woke me up.

video;

[minigolfandsushi]

Reeeeeally. [Peter is enjoying this too much.

A new song starts up.]

She was walkin' around with a loaded shotgun
Ready to fire me a hot one.
It went bang, bang, bang...
Straight through my heart. (Straight through my heart)
Although I could have walked away,
I stood my ground and let her spray.