48th note

[thewildone]

I've been doing a lot of thinking...I haven't been able to do a lot else when I'm afraid my axe is gonna shatter if try to play. To be honest, I think something's been missing with me. Like part of my drive has been gone. And I don't want to say that because I've been trying to stay kind of healthy and stable that makes me worse as artist or something because I sure as hell hope that's not true, but I feel like I need to take drastic measures. Something to break me out of my rut. As much as my current relationship is great and all sometimes you have to make sacrifices.

For a while. Maybe not for that long.

[ooc: Curse affected, very much so. Also, I have this take home midterm thing, so depending how that goes might have to leave most of my tagging until Friday.]

Comments

[orangetoughguy]

....Have you told your 'current relationship'?

[thewildone]

I'm getting to that. I'm trying to figure out how to word this.

[orangetoughguy]

How's that working out for you?

[thewildone]

It just seems like a perfectly good idea in my head but when I try to talk about it, something just seems weird.

[Video]

[sitaronthewater]

Huh? What sort of sacrifices?

[Video]

[thewildone]

I don't think you would get it, it's a sex thing in this case.

[Video]

[sitaronthewater]

Oh, okay. I thought you guys were gonna stop dating or something. [Pause.]

Hey, wait! I know what sex is. I even explained it to someone once!

[Video]

[thewildone]

I'm not really sure what's gonna happen with that but I hope not. This is supposed to be temporary, anyway.

Yeah, but just because you know doesn't mean you understand. So that must have been an interesting explanation.

[Video]

[sitaronthewater]

So- Wait, why would you break up? Because you're not having sex? That doesn't make sense!

[OoC: *cough*]

[signatures]

What?

[thewildone]

I think I should try channeling my sex drive into creativity. That's what.

[signatures]

Does that usually work for you?

[thewildone]

Well, I think a lot of my music has stemmed from sexual frustration, but I never actually tried not having sex in order to be frustrated on purpose. It seems so obvious I don't know why I didn't think of it before.

[totallyinaband]

[uh....]

So you're saying you're not happy because you're happy?

[thewildone]

No. Yes. I'm happy, I'm just not...I want to stay happy and that means not getting complacent, because if I do I'll get bored, and if I'm bored I'll be unhappy, and when I'm unhappy and bored that's a really bad combination.

And on a related note there's something I really need to talk to you about.

[totallyinaband]

Sounds complicated.

Er, okay.

[thewildone]

So the thing is I think we need a break. Not like a break-up break. Not that, so try not to freak out, okay? But as part of my artistic process I think I need to try celibacy. For a while. Maybe not that long of a while.

[dignity_misery]

Misery is inspirational.

[thewildone]

Absolutely. Though I'd like to see if I can manage inspiration without being completely miserable, cuz that would be ideal.

[dignity_misery]

It's not hard. Just make someone else miserable for you.

[That's what had been done to her.]

[thewildone]

I don't want to make anyone else miserable. Seems to happen anyway. But that's always made me pretty unhappy, at least when I was in a state to care, which wasn't always.

[anunluckypenny]

Curt? Have you maybe tried something that isn't that drastic?

[thewildone]

I'm pretty shit at doing things by halves.

[anunluckypenny]

But isn't this a little too much? Happy relationships are almost impossible to find, Curt... you can't just throw yours away.

[thewildone]

Wait, what? No, that's not what I'm doing. At least I hope not, if I can get him to actually understand. I just think I need to stop having sex for a while.

Which just sounds so wrong to actually say, but also just suddenly makes so much sense today.