♕ |[111]| And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well

[had_not_lived]

[ Voice ]

[There's a moment of silence when the transmission starts; a slight tremor to Neil's first words. There are some things you can never quite be ready to say, no matter how long you prepare.

Goodbye, he thinks, is the worst.]

If we shadows--

[And he draws a sharp, unsteady breath.]

No, that's not it. I thought that was the right way to go, but. It's an ending-- a good ending, a hopeful ending, but I don't want to think of this like that. I still remember when I came here, the first people I spoke with, the first things I said, and maybe that's a better note to leave on.

[There's an awkwardly long pause, a rustle of paper (an old and familiar and well-loved book, the book in whose pages he first read these words), and then (in a clear voice, steady now and sure and impassioned:)]

Come, my friends,
'T is not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset.

[Another pause, and a deep, even breath, hitting his stride.]

Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

[Another pause, and the gentle, dusty thump of a well-worn book being shut.]

I won't forget any of this. Five years I couldn't have imagined, and-- [His breath catches.]

I'm not sure where I'm going, but I'll miss it. All of you.

Thank you, City, for all of it.

[And so goodnight unto you all.]

---

[ooc; Neil and Todd will be in the Square today; they won't be going through a door until the absolute last moment this evening, in case anyone would rather do goodbyes in person. Feel free to threadjack as needed. Just wanted to get this up ;; It's been an honor and a pleasure.]

Comments

action;

[mumbled_truth]

[ Todd has been quiet - quiet, even for Todd. And for a long while after Neil posts, he doesn't say anything.

And then he does. ]

Where are we going?

action;

[had_not_lived]

I don't know.

[He sounds much calmer than he feels. That's a sort of resignation, but also the borrowed strength of Tennyson's words.]

You could-- [And it fails, that calm. His breath hitches. He has to say it.] You could go home, if you wanted.

action;

[mumbled_truth]

I am going home.

[ He's about to get mushy, and he knows it, but... hell if you can't give in and be mushy when reality itself is at stake, when can you be? ]

I'm going wherever you go.

action;

[had_not_lived]

[The relief is palpable, a rush nearly intense enough to stop his drumming heartbeat. (But not really. Wouldn't that be an ironic ending to their tale?)

Neil makes a small and desperate sound which is wholly embarrassing, which he will deny until the end of time, and effectively flings himself at the other boy, throwing his arms around Todd's shoulders and clinging for dear life.]

action;

[mumbled_truth]

[ Todd's ready for that - as soon as Neil throws his arms around him, Todd clings back firmly. Tight. Like he can hold them together. ]

I don't care where it is.

[ He doesn't. He just holds on. Under the circumstances, he won't even tease about that noise. ]

action;

[had_not_lived]

[Deep down, Neil does sort of believe that-- that if they hold on tightly enough they won't be parted.]

I don't care either,

[he says, the words greatly muffled by the fact that he's got his face pressed into Todd's shoulder.]

video;

[anunluckypenny]

It's kind of crazy, isn't it? Having this whole new life, and then... now we have to say goodbye to it. But everything will work out okay. It usually does.

Since you were my stepson that one time, I feel like I should have something super... maternal or something to say to you, but I really don't. Wherever you end up going, though? I really hope that you'll be happy.

video;

[had_not_lived]

Everyone has somewhere to go. I have to believe that, and even if we don't know where, I have to believe it'll be all right.

I hope you're happy, too, Penny. Wherever you might end up.

[othersdie]

I'm not going to say goodbye to you or Todd.

[had_not_lived]

That's all right with me. We'll see each other again. Somehow. Someday.

[othersdie]

Someday.

If you run into Euphie... [Sigh. What are the odds of that? But he might as well ask.] ...if you see her, could you tell her that I'm looking for her?

[had_not_lived]

Of course I will.

[He would do damn near anything for Justin.]

You could try to come with us. If you wanted. I don't know where we're going yet, but you'd be welcome.

[othersdie]

Thank you.

[His lips quirk in an almost-smile.]

It's tempting, but I should leave alone. I'm tired of staying in one place. [beat] Maybe I'll take the cat.

[had_not_lived]

You should. I think she'd be happiest with you.

But I mean it, Justin. We'd be happy to have you, wherever we end up.

[othersdie]

I'm not like you and Todd. Existing is... I'm tired of it. I don't know what I want or what I'm missing, but I won't find it by standing still.

If I'm ever ready to stop moving, I'll find you.

[had_not_lived]

Maybe you could visit.

[othersdie]

If it's as simple as visiting the City was, I will. Whenever I can.

[Because, at this point, he really isn't capable of accepting a goodbye.]

[had_not_lived]

I guess we'll all find out.

You're a Dead Poet, Justin. You'll be with us even when you're not with us.

[othersdie]

I hope you don't get tired of me.

[had_not_lived]

Don't be ridiculous.

[othersdie]

I'll be with you and Todd in spirit. Forever. You can't tell me that isn't a frightening thought.

[had_not_lived]

Scarier for you being stuck with the two of us.