poly_chromatic | action // video

[Midday, a new arrival--or perhaps someone familiar to those who have been in the City for more than a few months--appears by the fountain. His button-up shirt (buttoned all the way to the top, as usual), khakis, and loafers aren't exactly seasonally appropriate, but at least he managed to avoid the icy fountain.

It's not as if the cold can bother him that much, anyway.

He looks around for the device that he knows will be nearby and--yes, there it is, just like always. He dusts stray snowflakes off of it, checks the date, and switches it to record.]

This is Justin Pendleton. If anyone who knew me is still here, I'd appreciate a response.

Who's currently running the City? Anonymous? What state is the police force in? Again, answers would be appreciated. Thank you.

[He moves to end the recording and hesitates.]

Neil, Todd. You'd better still be here.

[There, good. He cuts the video short and pockets the network device. Until he hears from his flatmates, Justin resolves to check out the City and see what has changed in the four months he's been gone himself.]

[ooc: Feel free to contact him via the network or run into him in person! And don't forget that it's National Hug Day. <3 Justin does so ~~hate~~ love hugs.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's fine. I understand.

Has anything here changed?

Well, Anonymous still runs the place, we've still got the goddamned curses... not a whole lot's changed, no. Some new arrivals, some new disappearances, y'know, the same old shit.

That's almost comforting.

How are you?

[Besides about as emotionally damaged as Justin. He asks because he knows, face-twin.]

Yeah, it kinda is, in a weird way.

[A shrug.]

Well, I got killed a couple months ago, so y'know, been better, been worse.

[Justin's face twitches in an involuntary wince. Dying is not fun.]

Are you still technically alive?

Yeah. It was one of those curses where we got some kinda exemption 'n didn't come back all fucked up, thankfully. I mean, I still came back plenty fucked up, but not physically.

[He knew Justin would understand.]

How have you been handling it? The first time I died, it was... [Wow, that was three deaths ago. Remembering that throws him off for a fraction of a second.] It takes time to recover, mentally.

I...

[Shit. How's he supposed to talk about this? But it's easier with Justin, somehow, maybe because Justin has his face, maybe because Justin's been through it before, so he just shrugs uneasily again.]

Not great. 'n I mean, part of it's the fact that I know that as soon as I go back home, I'm gonna die there too. 'n I knew that before, but now that I've been through it once, I really know what that means, and it's fuckin' terrifyin'. How'd you... come to terms with it?

Repetition doesn't necessarily make it easier. Neither does the expectation--the knowledge that it's coming.

[Justin mirrors his shrug.]

I had over a year to prepare the first time. By the time it happened, I was relieved. It's been worse here... dying pointlessly and unpredictably. The first time I died in the City, I didn't leave my apartment for days. I couldn't intellectualize the pain and fear. [He pauses, tucking his hair behind his ears.] I don't know if I came to terms with it, but I accepted what had happened. Didn't obsess over it, stopped trying to understand death on a philosophical or intellectual level.

Well, intellectualizin' it... I mean, I guess I've kinda done that now. It happened. It's over with. I...

[He shakes his head, unconsciously mirrors Justin by toying with his own hair, then folds his arms over his chest.]

I accept it. It wasn't great, but I accepted it. Wasn't the guy's fault he killed me, anyway. But it still scares me. Doin' it again. Or goin' back home 'n experiencin' it.

It should scare you. You're human; I'm human. I could die four more times and still be terrified. As a species, we're not programmed to face death fearlessly.

Can I ask how it happened?

There was a, uh...

[How does he even begin to describe it?]

A curse, I guess. There's a guy... anyway, it was what I'd describe as a vampire incident, I guess. Got attacked 'n got my throat ripped out. Dead, just like that. Tried to fight him off, but y'know...

Sorry. That's an ugly way to go.

Yeah, it was pretty shitty. But, y'know, I'm here now, 'n doin' fine.

For now.

[Wow, so cheerful.]

If it's any consolation, death isn't that bad--death outside of the City. Or maybe the afterlife varies from one world to another.

That so? That's good to know. I'm gonna find that out for myself soon enough, if I ever get sent home.

[They're both just the most cheerful people ever, yep.]

Does the thought of not existing frighten you?

Nah. The fact that I don't know whether I care if I exist or not is what frightens me.

[Huh. That's a level of self-loathing that Justin has visited, but never stayed at for long.]

There are other people who care. There always are.

Yeah, I know. A lot of 'em are here.

For me, all of them are.

...At least we have that.

[He nods.]

Yeah, at least we've got that. I know people'll be happy to see you.

At least two. I should go meet them. [That doesn't seem like the right note to end this conversation on.] Take care of yourself.

Yeah, you go see 'em, and...

[He's about to go for another hug, but somehow he manages to restrain himself and just clap Justin on the shoulder instead.]

You take care of yourself, too.

action // video

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I don't know why I felt a need to private an action thread...

Re: I don't know either but it made sense to me so I guess you win anyway

WOO

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