poly_chromatic | { dance no. 3 | text }

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lotc - marguerite gautier

{ dance no. 3 | text }

It must be obvious to all - that sexual conduct of the enjoyable kind provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

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If it wasn't obvious to all before, it certainly is now, since you made this completely public.

Rest assured, Marguerite Gautier would never incriminate herself in such a...

Ah, but it's true, surely. Oatmeal, I have learned, is such a boring foodstuff.

Here's the thing: almost everything is less boring than oatmeal. Saying that good sex is better than oatmeal is basically damning good sex with faint praise.

But your words are of such length, Meyer, that I can't possibly wrap my head around them. Speak in a manner a poor woman can understand.

[He's drunk right now. How can he be expected to be remotely coherent? Oh, except she's not supposed to know he's drunk. Okay. Trying again.]

Oatmeal is boring. Sex isn't boring. Putting oatmeal and sex in the same sentence together is insulting to sex.

[She, on the other hand, has hangovers and is still feeling the effects of all the wine she drank last night.]

You must know by now, I should never wish to insult sex. It is my oxygen, my nectar of life, my everything!

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I can think of lists of things that have more sustenance than oatmeal.

Such as? Let us share in the favour of all things not oatmeal!

Honey cakes are my brother's favorite example, but he has a bit of a sweet tooth. Flowers on a spring day. A good bottle of wine. Fine friends. Flavored ices. Olives. Fresh bread straight from the ovens. Pot pies. Kittens.

There is nothing more luxurious that freshly baked bread. My maid would make me little loafs back in Paris... I do so miss it, now that you mention it to me.

Oh!Yes. I quite agree. Our cook would have to station someone one by the door to the kitchens to make sure my brother and I wouldn't make off with a loaf when she was baking. Eventually she just made us our own little loafs as well so we'd stop stealing.

How nostalgic we are, my dear. Revelling in stories from the past. I should have picked kittens for my subject of choice, surely it would have been safer.

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Speak for yourself. It's certainly not obvious to me.

How do you people type on these things? It's excruciating.

Ah, but it takes a little practice, that is all. I am from a time without their existence - certainly, I must have had to get used to their feel as well.

It takes forever. Semaphore would be faster.

Patience! Has your mother taught you nothing about good manners? Now, be so kind as to explain to a poor woman what a Semaphore is.

No, no. Having to explain everything is the best way to ruin a perfectly good joke.

I take it you're human?

Some would say of me - she's more human than most.

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Seems like a solid fact. Why oatmeal?

Why? Ah, but I had to eat an entire portion of it this morning. Meyer has made certain curtailments to my budget, so I can no longer eat my breakfast at the cafes, if I wish to also eat my lunch there... Alas, the tragedy of it. Of a simple portion of oatmeal.

Tragedy indeed, Margie. Do you at least spice it up a little?

Raisins and hazelnuts, Monsieur Capone. They do not provide proper compensation.

If we're still comparing raisins to a bit of fun then sure. You're setting yourself up for disappointment. Cinnamon or brown sugar ain't bad though.

What a wonderful combination! I should never have thought of that on my own. One must hope it makes tomorrow's portion of oatmeal less bland to my tastes.

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