♕ |[107]| Roots ripe as old bait

[had_not_lived]

[ Video ] 

[Against a backdrop of book-lined shelves-- the shelves found at Bilton & Scaggs, not the shelves in his living room, though there's a distinct similarity between the two-- Neil Perry is sitting, looking a bit sheepish.] 

The bookstore did well yesterday, which I'm glad about.  Really! But... 

[And now, he chews at his lip.] 

I think... I must have been cursed, badly. 

[And he holds up a sweet potato. 

In each hand.  

From the large pile behind the counter, just offscreen. Not that you can see it, but from the expression on his face you might well guess.] 

Can someone tell me how you're supposed to cook them?  Does anyone like them?  I don't really mind sharing... There are sort of a lot left over... 

[And setting his sweet potatoes back on the pile, he picks up the camera to show his profits from yesterday. 

Indeed, there are sort of a lot.] 

I suppose, [he says from off-frame, bemused,] if you're interested, just let me know. 

Comments

[mumbled_truth]

[ He's trying not to laugh. Clearly. ]

Neil, you're rich!

[had_not_lived]

[Whhhyyyyyyy Todd, why?]

What are we going to do with all of them?

[mumbled_truth]

I guess we should probably eat them.

Maybe we need to have a banquet.

[had_not_lived]

A banquet of sweet potatoes and nothing else?

[mumbled_truth]

You could accept payment in other foods today, if you want to balance it out.

[ no help at all ]

[had_not_lived]

[What even are you, Todd.]

I bet I'd just get people with more leftovers.

[mumbled_truth]

Well, you'd have to change what you accept, of course.

Maybe use the sweet potatoes as change.

[ He's bothering you, have you not noticed? ]

[had_not_lived]

You'll have to tell me the conversions. A watermelon minus two paperbacks leaves, what, two potatoes? Three?

[mumbled_truth]

Well, they're not really standard, are they? I think you'll have to do it by weight.

[candothat]

What are these things called?

[They are not native to Russia, okay.]

[had_not_lived]

They're yams, I think. Sweet potatoes.

[candothat]

Yes, okay. Do you know how to prepare them to eat?

[had_not_lived]

Not really. You can mash them, I think? Maybe you boil them first?

[candothat]

The same as regular potatoes?

I hope that you will find something to do with yours.

[had_not_lived]

Maybe?

Thank you. Would you some?

[candothat]

Potatoes, I know. I can try that.

Ah, no. I have my own.

[had_not_lived]

I was a little scared I was the only one left with a big stack.

[just_displaced]

Should I ask how many of those you have, or is 'a lot' a pretty good estimate? Because, I mean, I like them okay, but I have no idea what you're supposed to do with, you know, 'a lot' of them.

[had_not_lived]

I haven't counted. I'm pretty sure there's more than we could eat before they go bad. I think. I don't really know how long they're good for...

[just_displaced]

I think they last for awhile. I don't know a whole lot about cooking, but they're basically like regular potatoes, right? Unless they're some kind of weird, cursed yams. Which is definitely possible.

[had_not_lived]

I think if they were cursed, they probably would have disappeared at midnight.

[just_displaced]

Then I guess you're probably stuck with a whole bunch of yams. Or sweet potatoes. Or are those the exact same thing with different names? I've never known if they were different or not.

[had_not_lived]

I'm not really sure. I think they're the same.

I guess as long as they keep, we'll have to just keep cooking them.

[The idea of throwing food out is just not in his nature, especially since this food is quite literally what he got paid yesterday.]

[just_displaced]

Maybe you should just start giving away free ones every time someone buys a book. That'd get rid of some of them. Make it some kind of promotion: Free sweet potatoes with every novel purchased, or a way more interesting slogan that I can't come up with right now.

[had_not_lived]

That seems counterproductive, doesn't it? People bought books with these things, yesterday.