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[trenchknives]

[Jimmy hasn't been around much in the last couple of days. There's a good reason for that, a damn good one, and he's about to make it known. He looks tired, worn down, maybe even a little sick as he turns the communicator towards himself to begin recording.]

I died.

[No preamble, no explanation for the moment.]

I died, 'n I don't know what to think about it. I don't know whether I could've done anythin' to stop it. I don't know why the hell I had to come back to life.

[He rests his chin on his hand, sighing.]

All I know is I could sure use someone to talk to right about now. Or drink with. I ain't picky.

Comments

Re: action;

[trenchknives]

[A long, slow nod, like he's really absorbing what Wilson's saying.]

I dunno, maybe you do, but I'm the guy sittin' here after bein' brought back from the dead, wonderin' about addiction. 'n besides, I'm the guy who you say has this PTSD thing, so I guess I'm just a big goddamn mess all around.

Re: action;

[dr_conscience]

You're not alone in that, you know. I've come back, too - a lot of people here have, and we all deal with it in our own ways. And you're a far way off from the only person to ever deal with PTSD. But...

[ Not that he's entirely comfortable being given the credit for that diagnosis; outside his specialty and all, but he's accepted doing whatever he can to help him through it, so there's no argument. He does pause a moment here, deciding how he wants to put this. ]

You know, maybe you are a big goddamn mess, but the secret is that so is basically everyone else. Most of the time, life is a big goddamn mess, and the secret of living it is to figure out how you can best pick up the pieces of that mess and put it together into something better. It's a question of managing the messes we're all given, building something worthwhile with them, and never taking the beautiful spots in there for granted, or losing sight of them because of the clutter.

Re: action;

[trenchknives]

Yeah.

[He's nodding slowly at first, but then a little quicker, taking some kind of inspiration from Wilson's words.]

Yeah, y'know, you're right. The thing is, before all of this happened... I mean, I kinda saw myself as the walkin' dead anyway, y'know? It was like I'd died back in the war, 'n it didn't really matter whether I was alive or dead, 'cause it was the same either way. 'n now that I'm back, it's kinda... well, like you said. Managin' the mess. Not takin' bein' alive for granted.

Re: action;

[dr_conscience]

[ There's a dry laugh there. ]

If there's anything that coming back from the dead instills in anyone, I'd say it's a sense of how lucky we all are to be alive at all, let alone in someplace like this. As long as we're alive, we always have the chance to make something out of the mess, and it's never really too late to decide that we'd like to try putting it back together another way. I think that's worth hanging on to.

Re: action;

[trenchknives]

Okay, sure. So we just keep on tryin', then, even when it feels shitty. 'cause we keep gettin' chances to try 'n get it right. Makes sense to me.