poly_chromatic | Video // Mirror, Mirror...

Entry tags:

mad men - michael ginsberg

Video // Mirror, Mirror...

[It's pretty hard to disguise the fact that his hands are shaking when he turns on the video, and even harder to disguise the fact that he's sitting on the floor somewhere, arms wrapped around his knees, steadfastly avoiding looking anywhere except the communicator.]

Has anyone seen...

[He shakes his head, a little too frantically.]

Okay. Let me start over. Has anyone been seeing... things in the mirror? Strange things? Things that shouldn't be there but that're definitely there? I think I might be going crazy. There's something there, and I'm not...

[Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, he tries his best to get his thoughts together. It's an uphill battle.]

I've never hallucinated like this before. Other hallucinations, maybe, but not like this. Please tell me I'm not the only one, someone. I don't think I can take it much longer.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Successful? I still live with my dad. I don't think that's exactly successful.

I've never socialized with my peers. I don't know how to make friends. I don't really have any interests, and I basically live at work. And the people I work with are okay, but I don't know if you can count them as friends, because I work with them.

Is your living situation indicative of your level of success?

Maybe you do socialize and make friends and have only not noticed it yet, and if you don't have interests, what do you do with your time? For me, I usually live at work, and I mean this literally. Outside of the City, the only friends I have are my crewmembers, so I hope that they count as friends.

Look, have you ever tried dating when you're a twenty three year old guy living with your dad? Because I'm telling you, it's almost impossible. And then your dad sets you up on blind dates. Then it's not only impossible, it's humiliating. Everyone wants a place of their own, right?

What do I do with my time? I work. I write. I sleep. That's about it.

I have never been a twenty-three years old and I haven't lived with my father for years, so I cannot say that I have. It sounds embarrassing. More embarrassing than being fourteen and trying to convince nineteen year-old girls to go on dates.

Do you enjoy that?

You tried to convince nineteen year old girls to go on dates?

[A long pause.]

Did it work?

Yeah, I enjoy working. I think. I mean, it's what I'm good at. It's what I know how to do. It keeps my mind busy, so it can't be on other things. Those're all good.

Of course not! They would always ruffle my hair and say, "You are so cute, Pavel. Will you help me with my transporter theory homework?"

[a pause of his own]

This was not so bad. I was surrounded by beautiful women during my time at the Academy. This was pleasant, even if they would not date me.

Then work is your passion, and I think that is the best life to live.

See, that's what women still say to me. Well, except they don't call me Pavel, obviously, and it's not transporter theory homework, it's... whatever it is they want. Like borrowing money. People borrow money from me a lot.

[A nod.]

I guess so. Except nobody wants to hire me around here.

I would like to see this. We will go to a bar and I will observe how you interact with women. Maybe I can diagnose the problem.

[Because something is obviously amiss.]

You will find someone, and you can still work as a professional bullshitter. Or there is a woman named Penny who will hire anyone, if you do not want to start your own business.

Poorly, that's how I interact with them. I mean, not women I work with. I interact with them just the way I interact with everyone else.

[So... poorly.]

My last date was a disaster. A real nightmare. I think she felt sorry for me the whole time. Do you have a girlfriend?

Why does the location of the woman matter?

You must not have been with the correct person. I do have one, yes; her name is Lucy and she's very beautiful and funny.

Because at work, I'm not thinking about dating. I'm not trying to impress them or trying to get intimate with them. I'm just working, coming up with ideas, arguing with people, no dating required, doesn't matter whether I'm talking to a guy or a girl. Work's a lot easier than socializing.

Yeah ,you seem like the type that'd have a girlfriend. I don't mean that in a bad way. That's good. I'm happy for you.

Yes, but you can come to know people through working with them. I think that liking someone as a person can be done at work.

Thank you, but how do you mean?

Well, you know, all the basics. You can talk to people, you're good looking, you're smart... I've been led to believe that all of that's important.

You have all of the basics as well. You are talking to me, you're also good-looking, and you seem intelligent. Could it be self-esteem? I am told that, if one thinks poorly of oneself, others are inclined to think poorly of them.

Self-esteem? That's something I've heard of, but I'm not sure I have it. I'm not sure how to have it. I know people're supposed to, but I don't.

There must be something that you like about yourself.

I think I'm pretty smart. Creative-smart, I mean. Not really book smart. I did okay in school, I guess, but I never really enjoyed it.

There, good. You can have self-esteem because you know you are creative smart and likely intelligent in other ways if you applied yourself.

[A very, very suspicious face.]

Is it really as easy as that? I mean, I'm cocky about my work, I know that, because it's good, but does that really count as self-esteem? If it does, I guess maybe I do have some.

It isn't graceful self-esteem, maybe, but I do think that it counts.

Well, in that case, I'll count it. And now that I have it, people should start wanting to date me, right? I mean, eventually. Theoretically.

Theoretically.

You might also try driving an attractive automobile and feigning a Slavic accent. Oh--women find science sexy, also. My girlfriend enjoys it when I talk about theoretical physics.

My dad has an accent. It's not Slavic, but it's kind of close. I could just imitate that, right? That'd be easy enough. But it might make me sound ridiculous.

[He shakes his head.]

I don't know a lot about science. I could make it up, though. I could bullshit it. Although if I were talking to someone who knew what they were talking about, they'd probably realize I was full of shit.

I don't know what to tell you. I am only relaying what women find attractive about me.

You have other areas in which you are knowledgeable, correct? Talk about those things. I think that women are attracted to intellect.

I guess they probably like your hair, too, right? At least our hair is kinda similar. I've got that going for me.

Yeah, I know about other stuff. Now I just have to find someone who's interested in it.

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