Video

[deadmanbusiness]

[Theo pushes his sunglasses up his nose and gives a big sigh.]

I realize that I was gone for a week, but that really isn't a reason to go looting through my apartment.

Someone stole my knife.

It has a blade made out of obsidian and a bronze hilt. It also has strong... [evil] necromantic aura. If anyone has seen it, I would rather like it back, it was a gift from my father.

Also, it's cursed so unless you want to start getting haunted I really suggest getting back to me or letting me know where I can find it. Even if you've gotten rid of it, you'll start getting haunted.

Comments

[whitetwoguns]

[He's not even sure what all of that means but...]

Sorry you lost your knife.

[deadmanbusiness]

[He lost his magic knife.]

I'd feel more sorry for the person who took it.

[Very brief vicious smile.]

But thank you.

[whitetwoguns]

[Magic sort of gets lumped up into so, so much. His eyes tend to glaze over.]

Does it have any value? I mean, outside of the magic and sentimental.

[deadmanbusiness]

It's over six thousand years old. A relic from an ancient and long dead civilization. My father had very significant offers for it from every museum you could think of back home.

[whitetwoguns]

So big bucks. Damn.

[deadmanbusiness]

Very big bucks.

I hope no one tries to fence it.

video;

[anatural]

Are you sure it was your knife?

[Yeah, Korra. Talking back to the guy whose knife you stole. THAT'S smart.]

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

........

My older brother claims it's his. But yes, I'm quite certain it's my knife.

[Why is she even asking this?]

video;

[anatural]

It sounds an awful lot like a knife that belongs to a girl named ROWENA.

[DRAMATIC EMPHASIS. BETCHA FEEL GUILTY NOW, DON'T YOU?]

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

[Cue BLANK LOOK OF BLANKNESS.]

Who?

video;

[anatural]

Don't act like you don't know!

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

[Wait a second here... Theo's eyes narrow at her.]

What do you know about this knife?

video;

[anatural]

I know that it belongs to Rowena!

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

How do even know it's her knife?

video;

[anatural]

.....I just do.

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

Because she told you?

video;

[anatural]

Yeah. [TAKE THAT.]

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

So why is it my telling you that it's my knife any less plausible than her telling you it's her knife.

video;

[anatural]

[.....excellent question.]

Because you can't be trusted. That knife was protecting her! I saw your "friend" try to kill her!

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

[Friend? WTF?]

How do you know so much about my knife anyway?

video;

[anatural]

I don't know anything about your knife.

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

Okay. Let me rephrase. How do you know so much about the knife in question?

video;

[anatural]

Rowena told me.

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

Uh-huh.

video;

[anatural]

She did!

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

Right. Look whatever your name is. That knife is mine and it's been in my family for years. I don't know what this Rowena told you but it's a bunch of bull.

video;

[anatural]

Of course you'd say that.

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

Look. What's your name?

video;

[anatural]

...............Korra.

Re: video;

[deadmanbusiness]

Thank you.

Korra. I'm Theo. And now I'm going to hang up on you and call the cops.

Have a nice day.

[And he hangs up.]

[anatural]

[FUCK]

Not here...

[deadmanbusiness]

MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!