Video

[trenchknives]

Y'know, I start thinkin' about what's goin' on around here, 'n sometimes it reminds me of home. It's kinda funny, 'cause there aren't a lot of similarities, but I guess there's certain stuff that sticks with you. When I was in the army, I saw all kinds of shit, really awful shit, and a lot of what's goin' on here isn't quite as bad, but...

[He sighs and scrubs a hand across his face.]

You get used to it, y'know? You start expectin' horrible shit to happen. Hell, I didn't even write home, the whole damn time I was in the army, just 'cause I was convinced I was gonna die, and my letters'd be more painful if I did. We were just the walkin' dead. Nobody expected us to get outta there.

[A shrug.]

So yeah, what's goin' on around here? Pretty bad, but I've seen worse. Funny thing is, though, this whole choosin' sides and allegiances thing? That got worse, after I got back from the war. You'd've thought I'd be done with that, but back in Atlantic City, there's a different kinda war goin' on. A turf war, kinda. Like this one.

[A long pause.]

Wait. Why the fuck am I... is this recordin'? Shit...

Comments

[dr_conscience]

In that question, what's the alternative to letting yourself live with something you've done?

[You ask worrisome questions when you're forced into honesty, Jimmy.]

[trenchknives]

Feeling guilty forever, or...

[A long sigh.]

Lettin' yourself die, I guess?

[dr_conscience]

I tend to think that if someone has it within their self to feel guilt over something they've done, then they have the capacity to do something positive with that feeling, and I think that's what they owe to the people they've hurt. You can't change things that have been done, but you can change what you're doing now and how your actions affect the people around you going forward.

[trenchknives]

Okay, well... I guess I can try. I ain't doin' the things here that I did back home, at least.