for love of the game

[metaman]

[video]

[Abed stands on the edge of the fountain, in front of a crowd of water balloon fighters, dressed in a track suit and looking like a football coach. He holds up a water balloon.]

If there's magic in water balloon fights, it's the magic of fighting battles beyond endurance, beyond broken windows, ruptured balloons and and soaked underwear. It's the magic of risking everything for a dream that nobody sees but you.

Great moments... are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here, today. That's what you've earned here today. One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not today. Today, we run with them. today, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! today, WE are the greatest water balloon team in the world. You were born to be water balloon warriors. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here today. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great water balloon team the other guys have. Screw 'em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.

[The crowd of NPCs (and whoever among the PCs chooses to be there!) cheers, and then runs off to engage in water balloon battle.

Abed turns to his device.]

I don't normally go for sports movies. Too schmaltzy. But after three episode's worth of paintball and a pillow fight, I'd run out of what I felt was original war movie material. And if there's one thing I hate, it's repeating myself.


[ooc: Please feel free to have your character be one of Abed's water ballooners! Or an enemy water ballooner! Action threads and threadjacking highly encouraged.]

Comments

[Action;]

[withloadedguns]

[Sniper water balloon slingshot attack.]

[Action;]

[metaman]

[Abed doesn't sense the balloon coming until it's almost too late. He dodges the balloon Matrix-style and looks around for the source.]

WATCH IT, BUB! I'm the coach, not a player!

[Action;]

[withloadedguns]

[Faster than anticipated. Hmmm...

All right: another amazing globular water balloon comes lolling across the sky (from a good, high, hidden vantage-point)--maybe this one is aimed a little more at his feet. Just for laughs.]

[Action;]

[metaman]

[Abed jumps back, but the water balloon splashes with enough force to soak his pants. He frowns thoughtfully.]

Do you ever get the feeling you're in a different genre than everyone else?

[Action;]

[withloadedguns]

[Hey, he got his pants wet. He's content now. I mean, that's better than expected. He was just hoping for a dance step or two. This is even better.]

[Action;]

[metaman]

[Someone else decides that Abed is fair game, since his pants are already wet, and the boy has to quickly dodge a volley of water ballons.]

Should've stuck with the war motif.

[He rips off his track suit jacket, wearing only a tank top underneath. He grabs a straw out of his pocket - why does he have a straw in his pocket? - and sticks it in his mouth before picking up a few of the unexploded balloons.

Let the battle begin. Continue. Resume. Whatever.]

[Action;]

[withloadedguns]

[Here comes another one. Aimed right at your head.]

[Action;]

[metaman]

[Abed dodges this one deftly, moving like a man in a whole new movie. He traces the arc of the balloon's path to wherever the Cowboy is hiding, and he lobs one at the man.]

[Action;]

[withloadedguns]

[Damn.

Nope, time to duck--which is a good plan because the balloon bursts right behind him on the balcony floor where he's been crouched and lobbing balloons all morning. He looks behind him at the puddle and scraps of plastic and then back to Abed (not that he knows his name) down on the street.

That one nearly put out his cigarillo.]

[Action;]

[metaman]

[Abed doesn't wait to see if he's made the hit -- he's taking cover and steadily making his way closer. Whoever pelted him is good; odds are he didn't make the shot. And even if he did, would that stop him? This is war. There are no rules.]

[Action;]

[withloadedguns]

[It's a regular sniper's nest up here now.

He lobs another balloon out, though his opponent seems to have ducked into some cover. Which is problematic.

He'll take his chances, though.]

[Action;]

[metaman]

[Abed is long gone by the time that next balloon approaches, but thanks for throwing -- it's making it easier for him to pinpoint your location. When he gets close enough, he hurls another balloon, straight for the cigarillo.]

[Action;]

[withloadedguns]

[Time to vacate--

--but not before... Sploosh!

...well... He wasn't hit directly, but the backsplash was enough to extinguish the cigarillo.

He takes it out of his mouth and examines it. Thoroughly out. He tosses it aside.

Definitely time to vacate...]

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

[Mindy's just going to be running past with her own supplies, pelting people with water balloons and shooting at others with the water pistols she carried.

It looks something like this. only minus the costume and the actual guns and the people dying.]

[metaman]

[Abed is still in sports movie mode.]

Watch it, kid! What kinda game do you think you're playing?

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

[Abed. What are you doing?] It's a water war. That's what. What are you doing?

[metaman]

War. Right. Lemme tell you something, kid, even wars have rules. And the number one rule of this war is DON'T HIT THE COACH.

voice;

[bythreadalone]

I think the whole city's gone crazy.

Fun curse, though.

voice;

[metaman]

Like Pittsburgh during the Superbowl.

[He doesn't actually know anything about sports, so he can only hope it's apt.]

voice;

[bythreadalone]

[ Meet another non-sports guy, Abed. ]

Let's hope it stays like that, and not Ontario during hockey season.

voice;

[metaman]

I've always wondered about that. Do Canadians forget to be stereotypically polite during hockey season, or do they beat you up politely?

voice;

[bythreadalone]

They probably send you a get well gift basket afterward -- you know, to be nice.

voice;

[metaman]

Cookies or fruit?

voice;

[bythreadalone]

Pancakes and maple syrup, natch.

voice;

[metaman]

Nice.

[beifongbandit]

Are there teams? I thought we were just soaking everyone. Point me!

[ Another helpful crowd member aims Toph in the direction of someone running by. She shoots! ]

[metaman]

Nice shot!

[beifongbandit]

Are you keeping score? Who's winning?

[metaman]

So far, people haven't embraced the genre. Pretty sure it's still a free for all.

[errandry]

... man, that was seriously kinda beautiful.

[metaman]

Thanks. Sports movies are known for their inspirational speeches. It wouldn't be a proper homage without one.

[errandry]

You're gonna need to pick an opponent if you wanna get that plucky underdog victory, though!

[metaman]

You're right. I can't believe I forgot.

[He looks around and frowns as he thinks.]

Any suggestions?

[errandry]

Well... you got any mortal enemies or anything?

[metaman]

Haven't been in the City long enough. Besides, this isn't really the genre for that.

[errandry]

You know what I mean—eternal rivals, that kinda thing! In a sports genre, those've gotta be called your mortal enemies.

[zipperbent]

[well, dude, you're kinda weird but. HAVE SOME SLOWCLAPPING.]

[metaman]

[Abed turns laser eyes towards Bolin.]

Hey, you! What are you doing off the field? Get out there!

[zipperbent]

[LASER EYES, HUH. In any event, ok, let's play along.]

I'm a renegade. I go where I please.

[metaman]

[Abed gets all up in Bolin's face.]

That attitude of yours is why you're always on the bench, and why you'll always be on the bench.

Except for today. Today, we need you on the field. Now go!

[zipperbent]

[OH YEAH, TOUGH GUY? HE'S NOT BACKING DOWN AN INCH]

Obviously you have no idea who you're talking to. I'm never on the bench. The bench is afraid of me.

[metaman]

That doesn't make any sense.

[YOU'RE NOT PLAYING ALONG WITH THE GENRE, BOLIN.]

[keepinitsaucy]

[That was one of the most beautiful things that Andy has ever heard. He is pumped. Hell yeah, he's going to pelt some people with water balloons.

Starting with Abed because he's decided to be a spy for the other team, oh look at him, being sneaky sneaky.]

[metaman]

[This isn't a war movie! Or even a corporate espionage movie! There's no traitor in sports! Abed just barely dodges and scowls.]

FOUL! Whaddya think you're doing?!

[keepinitsaucy]

[Yes, score!]

Well... All's fair in love and war, right? And this is kind of like a war.

[metaman]

Listen kid, even wars have rules. And the most important rule in this war is you don't mess with the coach. Got it?