poly_chromatic | xi. ][ text

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malcolm in the middle - dewey

xi. ][ text

Ten Things My Brothers Did to Me

Tried to switch me with another baby at the park

Held me hostage to get their Nintendo back

Dyed pink stripes in my hair

"Rent-a-Runt"

Left me on a buoy

Tied my tricycle to the van

Barricaded the crawlspace

The dog food, the leash, and the front yard

Checked me in as baggage at the airport

Left me here alone

[ cursed and definitely unhappy about this list. ]

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[Pai doesn't like to read, and doesn't often bother reading network posts. But this is short and simple and, most importantly, from Dewey.]

They didn't leave you here.

[Her voice is cool and matter of fact. Believe it or not, she's trying to be reassuring.]

Yeah. I know.

[ It's rather apparent that he's annoyed, though it is in general and not with her. ]

They don't sound like they were good to you. [Hei never would have pulled any of those stunts on her. (Of course, she could have murdered him quite easily if he'd tried.)]

They aren't, a lot of the time.

[ Which really makes it all the worse that he still misses these jerks. ]

[He knows that, but he still sounds sad. Pai doesn't understand it. Which may seem weird, considering she and her brother have an almost unhealthy attachment to each other, but it's not because they're connected by blood -- well, their own blood. They're connected by the blood they've both spilled on the battlefield, their shared experiences in war, and Hei's human need for someone to love.

She tries to think of something comforting to say. Humans find comfort in shared experiences, don't they? Maybe she should share one of her own.]

My brother tried to strangle me once.

[ That in and of itself isn't too startling to him, given the kind of things his brothers do regularly that are just generally ongoing rather than particular enough incidents to make a list.

But there is one vital detail he has to clear up, which could potentially make this more disturbing than his own brothers. ]

Was he trying to kill you or just hurt you?

He was trying to save me. [There's a rustle as she rolls over in bed -- she's almost always in bed -- and stares up at the ceiling.] Or maybe just himself. [No judgement in her voice, only idle reflection.] We were soldiers for the Syndicate. He hated killing people, but he wanted to protect me. I think he wanted me to die peacefully so that he could kill himself and end everything.

He didn't, though. [As it occurs to her that Dewey might not understand her brother's motivations - because honestly, she doesn't quite get them either. They're too emotional, too human.] Death is too final, and he's always been an optimist.

[ This is clearly a reality far removed from Dewey's - and one that makes his own overcrowded, underfunded, chaotic family seem far less terrible than they did a few minutes ago. ]

You were... soldiers? So you killed people?

[ He's stuck on that, first. ]

Yes. [Entire armies of them. That's what made her such a valuable asset to the Syndicate -- her power could kill dozens of people in an instant.]

Oh.

[ Well. He is... oddly unsure of what to say. ]

I haven't killed anyone here. [Is she trying to reassure him? That's stupid. It's not like the fact that she's killed people in the past means she's going to kill him. It's not like it matters whether he's afraid of her or not. This whole conversation is pointless. Humans are irrational - why try to comfort them?]

I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. [It's about as close as she gets to an apology, and she doesn't understand why she's giving it.]

It's okay.

[ Though there is still a small trace of uncertainty there. ]

I mean, you said your were a soldier, so... you did things because you had to, right?

Yes. [She doesn't feel any guilt or shame or even grief about all the lives she's taken, but she never would have killed all those people if she hadn't been forced to.] I don't have to do it here.

I'm glad that you're here, then. So you don't.

[Pai isn't quite so sure she feels the same. At least when she was a soldier, she had purpose. She doesn't know what to do with the meaninglessness of her life in the City.]

Thank you. [It's what you're supposed to say, isn't it?]

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