Video

[rianofski]

[Someone has been hit hard by the Tax Man curse, and when he turns the video on, he's sitting at his desk, looking for all the world like a king surveying his kingdom -- although he wouldn't like that analogy, and anyway, the kingdom he's surveying is nothing more than what's strewn across his desk, all of which he's apparently placed there so that people can see it.]

There are some who might consider it... gauche to discuss the value of ones' assets. These people might say that divulging how much you own is inappropriate, that you should keep this sort of thing to yourself. These are the same people who say you shouldn't discuss money or politics in polite company. Put simply, these are generally people who have nothing of worth to discuss.

[The camera pans across his desk, showing an assortment of paperwork, a paperweight, several nice pens, and an expensive bottle of brandy.]

As you can see, the things I own are worth quite a bit. This one of a kind paperweight alone, for example, could be valued at a hundred dollars.

[There's a pause.]

In your time, if your time is sometime in the new millenium, that's more like seven hundred and fifty dollars, if my calculations are correct.

[And boy, does he look smug about it.]

This engraved pen is, of course, worth even more. And the value of my desk alone could pay rent for several months.

[A sigh.]

As you can see, these are important things to discuss. This is what you can gain from the value of hard work. This is what capitalism and the free market are all about.

[Yes, everyone cares so much, Andrew. Especially about your decorative paperweight.]

Comments

[deadmanbusiness]

Who pays that much money for something that holds down paper? A good rock would do it.

[Theo is amused. His father's paperweights are mostly rocks that he and his cousin Maya decorated when they were little. At the office nothing of value is laid around anymore with the kitten that eats everything around.]

I can understand the desk...

[rianofski]

It's a symbol of the hard work required to be able to afford such a thing. Obviously, the paperweight itself isn't particularly necessary.

[spotlighted]

[As Ruby watches, she at first looks bemused by Andrew showing off his paperweight of all things. But then she realises the point he's trying to make, and that changes to a mixture of amusement and admiration.]

I doubt the paperweight is the best example, really.

[rianofski]

[He smiles slightly, nodding.]

Admittedly, the paperweight isn't the best example, but sadly, the majority of my assets are... elsewhere. I suppose I could have referenced the lamp, instead...

[He gestures to the green and bronze desk lamp, which is unremarkable.]

But I think that would have been even less relevant.

[spotlighted]

[She chuckles a little.]

Yeah, I don't think the lamp would seem all that impressive, really. Even I might have a hard time taking it seriously if you argued that the government were going to come and take your lamp away.

[rianofski]

I'll have you know that this lamp cost a whole...

[He studies the lamp for a moment.]

$9.95. If the government is that hard up for money, there's something very wrong.

[spotlighted]

[Ruby just looks even more amused.]

Heck, if they're hurting that much, I'll kick in the extra ten bucks so you can hold onto your lamp.

[rianofski]

I think we're in luck in that regard; as far as I can tell, there are no taxes here.

[Although there are Deities, which is arguably worse...]

[spotlighted]

Yeah, it seems not. So much for small mercies, huh? Although I think I'd probably trade having to pay taxes for being cursed without so much as a by-your-leave.

[rianofski]

[He really has to think about that one.]

It depends on the tax and it depends on the curse, I suppose. Either way, it's an encroachment upon free will. Still, even I would prefer to pay taxes than to be attacked by zombies, for example.

[spotlighted]

I guess the thing is that at least with taxes they're predictable. It's not knowing what's going to happen next that's the worst part with the curses.

[rianofski]

True, though occasionally we have an entertaining curse. I don't suppose anyone has ever described taxes as 'entertaining' before.

[deadmanbusiness]

What sort of paperweight is it? I mean, why did it cost you so much to buy?

[rianofski]

Only one exactly like this was ever made, by an extremely famous artist. It's personalized, and designed specifically for me. If one can afford to pay for quality work, one should.

[deadmanbusiness]

A famous artist in your time, perhaps not in the [What was the word he used?] new millennium.

Though I suppose it does show your success if you're able to waste money on such things like a paperweight.

[Theo is being hypocritical here. He often spends money on 'wasteful' things like that shiny thing his fiancee wants. Then again he's getting sex out of it. Not exactly sure what Andrew gets out of it.]

[spotlighted]

If it was some other similar paperwork instead of taxes, that's always seemed to be entertainment enough for you.

[rianofski]

So you've figured out how much I enjoy paperwork. Damn, and here I thought I'd hidden it well.

[rianofski]

Is it truly a waste of money, if it brings one pleasure?

[spotlighted]

As long as you don't insist on huge paperwork sessions to have fun when we're spending time together, I think it's something I can live with.

[rianofski]

Your myriad talents would be sadly wasted on paperwork, I believe.

[spotlighted]

You're certainly right there.

[rianofski]

Speaking of fun, I was thinking of coming to see you sing tonight, if you are. Then, perhaps, we could get a drink afterwards?

[spotlighted]

That does sound fun. I'd even be happy to discuss the paperweight over a drink.

[rianofski]

It was designed for me by a very talented artist. That part, at least, you might find vaguely interesting. I highly doubt the rest of the conversation will revolve around the paperweight.

[spotlighted]

Oh, I know we'll have plenty of other things to talk about. I always enjoy our conversations.