RUNNING HEAD: Harnessing the Hive-Mind--1

[laszlo_jamf]

Harnessing the Hive-Mind: Utilization of Swarm Intelligence in Genetically-Modified Extra-Omnivorous Insects for Large-Scale Agricultural and Military Applications
Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf, et al.
Dyeus Research Laboratories, The City

fig 1.


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There's all the blahblahblah about sigmas but, given the circumstances, I think we're ready to present the results of our research. Feels a little like old times. Just with better funding.

But, you know, you might want a beekeeper's hood anyway. I hear that's the trendy style this spring. It's fetching.

Ladies, gentlemen, colleagues, citizens.

Shall we?

[ooc: Not to worry, citizens! Not to worry! The Deities are on top of the excess of vegetation choking your fair City. From the tippy-top of their skyscraper office building in Misery Square, they have now dispatched swarms of kawaii insects (caution: IRL bug photos in links!) to consume the overgrown plants. But, be careful! These insects will eat everything: living plants, wood, fabric (even synthetic materials), metal, concrete, and stone! They might even nibble on you. So get to squashing--but carefully. Squish too many bugs and the plants win. Squish too few bugs, and the City'll get eaten. If you do right, the plants will be gone by midnight tonight and the insects will skitter away by the wee hours of the morning. Skitter skitter~]

Comments

[intriplicate]

You can borrow a mask.

[laszlo_jamf]

You can keep your masks, Fice.

[intriplicate]

It will be clean. Not even near my face.

[laszlo_jamf]

Then you keep it. You may be more in need of it than I would be.

[intriplicate]

Your loss.

I have authorized form B12332D.

[laszlo_jamf]

How fortunate that you should have such a form so near at hand. Heaven forbid anything should happen to it.

[mechanicalmouse]

Nibble nibble nibble.

[laszlo_jamf]

Getting back to your roots, Mouse? Or are you just indulging your oral fixation?

[Video]

[brothertragedy]

[Hey, guess who's never met a Deity before and is under the impression you're a new arrival:]

How very strange. You sound too calm and aware to be new here.

Reroute. Did I miss you in an earlier month?

[He's so caught up in trying to remember that he absentmindedly waves a hand dismissively at a bug, which repays him by chomping right through his glove when he tries to shoo it away.] Ow!

[hexuality]

Shall we—what.

[laszlo_jamf]

What?

[Video]

[laszlo_jamf]

Wait, wait, you're questioning me on that point? Sonny boy, you've got no idea.

Now, get out of the way, kid, you're bothering me.

[greatcherubim]

A &nash; you are one of the deities?

[Video]

[brothertragedy]

S-sonny boy? Kid? [Now, that was uncalled for! What is it with every older fellow treating him like a kid?]

Excuse me, Sir, but what's wrong with my questioning? It is my duty to keep track of new arrivals and I was simply trying to be thorough! If you have been here longer than I have, I do apologize for my mistake...

[Clearly, still not getting it.]

[rumblelina]

SQUISH! SQUASH! SMASH!

[Video]

[laszlo_jamf]

Well, look, I haven't been here as long as some, but I've been here longer than you. Trust me. I saw when you came in. I filed some paperwork related to that (Fice can thank me for that later).

[laszlo_jamf]

Surprise!

[laszlo_jamf]

Yes. That.

[pratful]

[ old times ]

So you're used to releasing a plague of insects on the masses?

... Is that even allowed?

[ and his skin has been crawling the moment he caught sight of those carnivorous little insects. He's grateful, yes, but no more at ease then he was before. ]

[laszlo_jamf]

Apparently it is.

For the record, it isn't even the first time it's happened. Amazing, isn't it? I think this is, what, the third time, at least? Maybe fourth. But I'm splitting hairs here and trying to remember Biblical references made fast and furiously.

[pratful]

[ there's just shocked silence for a long moment ] Somehow, I think your cure may be worse then the problem at hand. Couldn't you come up with something a bit better then insects?

Like... I don't know. Turning the plants back into plants?

[ he is being petty, he's had a rough day ]

[Video]

[brothertragedy]

You did?

[Paperwork too? Oh, so that probably means...

He quickly bows, deeply and apologetically. Despite the conversation being had over video... seems like he's taking his little slip-up very seriously.]

There is no excuse for what I have done!

[This guy is kind of troublesome to deal with, isn't he?]

[Video]

[laszlo_jamf]

Yeah, well. You know better now. QED.

[laszlo_jamf]

But they're already plants. Can't change what's already there. I mean, you can add water to water, but it's still water.

[greatcherubim]

Ah, I was expecting you to be a bit more — a bit more —

[laszlo_jamf]

What? Clouds of glory?

[hexuality]

That's what I'm asking you.

[pratful]

... Yeah, but these plants didn't used to try to eat everything alive it could reach. I think it's a little different then just adding water to water.

[laszlo_jamf]

You'll see!

[laszlo_jamf]

How little you seem to know of botany and the inherent destructiveness of plants.

[pratful]

I at least know about the "inherent destructiveness" of insects at the very least. They've destroyed more crops then I care to count. I really think you could've come up with a better way.

[hexuality]

I don't do very well with cryptic answers.

[laszlo_jamf]

Okay, try this: wait and see. Because you will see.

[laszlo_jamf]

And yet, as you yourself have just said, they are immensely effective.

[hexuality]

Great.

[pratful]

[ and this is why Arthur rarely deals with the deities. They're so difficult ]

I still say trading one plague for another is asking for trouble. And even if it's effective, I don't think you'll be happy when the food source is gobbled up as well.

I guess we'll just have to take care of this mess ourselves. [ which had been his plan all along. Just as soon as he figured something out of course. ]

[laszlo_jamf]

[Alas, this is the truth.]

Have at it, then. And with our blessing.

[greatcherubim]

If you want to put it that way. Something a little more regal, certainly.

[laszlo_jamf]

I can do regal. I'm just a bit too busy at the moment to do regal.