004 | Video

[nanomitesss]

[Rex is standing in his neat and sterile apartment, before a work table with a pitcher of totally normal and innocent looking lemonade on it.]

Ah, lemonade. Its ability to refresh, to quench one's thirst, is undeniable-- in those of us who are human, at any rate. There's something about it that can even elevate the mood, foster feelings of relaxation. Why, it's something of a... summertime panacea. [A muttered aside:] Or placebo, if we really want to be honest.

[Hey, shut up and sell your lemonade, Rex.]

Now, it tastes delicious, I'm sure. But what of those of us with certain... difficulties that make drinking quite an ordeal? What about those of who can't handle the tartness, or who are dieting, or who simply want the satisfaction of lemonade without drinking it?

I have a solution.

[Excitably, he picks up some blueprints off the table. They feature some designs and schematics for these precious babies.]

Nanomites. Capable of delivering lemonade directly to your system! They could even be programmed to stimulate the particular cranial nerves that carry taste information, as well as the cerebral cortex, to simulate the flavor of the lemonade. And, for those of you worried about your figures, this method is entirely calorie-free.

All it takes is one injection. And, ah... seed money for equipment, research and development. [Murmuring:] Something in the range of several billion...

[Now, while the purpose of these nanomites is absurd, those who are scientifically-inclined may note that the blueprints feature some, well, sound science and engineering. Rex knows his stuff, even when his stuff is selling lemonade via robot injection.]

I look forward to hearing from potential investors.

Comments

[valentineluke]

How ludicrous.

[nanomitesss]

It's a perfectly practical solution to the City's sudden obsession with lemons. [Which is totally not affecting Rex at all, nope.] Once the groundwork is complete, at any rate.

[thenormalsquint]

How do you make lemonade selling so creepy?

[nanomitesss]

What's so creepy about science?

[Or sssssscience, if you're Rex.]

[thenormalsquint]

Nothing. But there's a lot creepy with how you're planning to sell this lemonade.

[And Rex himself, but Angela's not saying that out loud.]

[doeswhathewants]

Do you have a hairless cat that you pet while sitting on a large throne-like chair while plotting how to take over the world again? I say again because previous plots have been attempted and thwarted by a group of school children and their animal mascot or persons with capes and secret identities?

[skintoskin]

Say... what?

video:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

This is why we couldn't have nice things back in that childhood we didn't actually have.

[signatures]

I think I'll just stick to the old fashioned way.

[nanomitesss]

I see nothing wrong with intravenous solutions. It's a perfectly normal procedure, only made more... efficient. As for stimulating the cortex, well, [SMILING] that's just a special treat.

[nanomitesss]

No! [It's just super secret elite squad of soldiers who thwart him, tyvm.] And I don't see what's so sinister about my methods of selling lemonade! Unless you're opposed to efficiency.

[nanomitesss]

Think of it as... the future of lemonade.

video:

[nanomitesss]

I don't know what you're talking about. My childhood, at least, was full of nice things. [Like baby's first chemistry set...]

[nanomitesss]

This type of resistance to progress is why scientific advancement is often slow to take root with the public. [You'll see, YOU'LL ALL SEE THE FUTURE OF LEMONADE.]

[doeswhathewants]

You sound like a villain stereotype. No offense, or anything, just calling it how it sounds.

[nanomitesss]

Oh, no offense taken, of course. An appreciation for science hardly makes me a villain.

[doeswhathewants]

No, only the sinister way you described something as innocent as lemonade makes you a candidate.

[signatures]

I'm all for scientific advancement - just not for the sake of replacing the act of drinking.

[nanomitesss]

But imagine a world where the applications could be expanded to all foods. Not just lemonade, but everything. You could taste anything, fulfill any craving on demand! It would be... magnificent.

[nanomitesss]

Sinister? This is simply how I talk.

[signatures]

But what happens if the machines malfunction and start tearing away at your brain tissue?

[nanomitesss]

Controlled tests will be conducted, of course, before any mass production for the public begins. Should any subjects perish, well. Science requires sacrifice.

[doeswhathewants]

[Just the longest pause.] You were not born and raised in a place called Latveria were you?

Work on sounding more... ah... or at least less like you have an evil plot cooking.

[signatures]

Technology can break regardless of how many tests you run, though.

[skintoskin]

Are you serious? Who'd want to inject lemonade?