Seargent Angua von Uberwald (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
badhairlifetime) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
poly_chromatic2012-04-26 12:55 am
badhairlifetime) wrote in poly_chromatic2012-04-26 12:55 am
Entry tags:
Thirty Three Transformations
[Video Post]
Angua is standing amid the ruckus of birds cawing, and creatures crawling along and, sometimes, up the edge of the forest.
"I am not familiar with most of these animals, but that doesn't mean that I, or any of the rest of the police force, won't be available to help any of you out there. If you get trapped in a corner, chased away, otherwise unable to fight, or-"
Suddenly the birds stopped.
A branch creaked.
The drop-bear . . . dropped.
It was a close relative of the koala, although this doesn't mean very much. After all, the closest relative of the common elephant is about the size and shape of a rabbit. The drop-bear's most notable feature was its posterior, thick and heavily-padded to provide the maximum shock to the victim with the minimum shock to the bear. The initial blow rendered the prey unconscious, and then the bears could gather round to feed. It was a magnificent method of killing, since in other respects the bears were not very well built to be serious predators. As she stared at the bear on the ground, she missed seeing the one falling from the branch above her.
It didn't miss her.
Not one to be deterred from her goals, she continues, off-screen, her voice a little more muffled. "Or dropped onto, we are here for you. It's just that sometimes, here may be on the ground."
[/Video Post]
[OoC: Everything in green is text from Pratchett's The Last Continent, which you should read.
Death held out a hand, I WANT A BOOK ABOUT THE DANGEROUS CREATURES OF FOURECKS—
Albert looked up and dived for cover, receiving only mild bruising because he had the foresight to curl into a ball.
After a while Death, his voice a little muffled, said: ALBERT, I WOULD BE SO GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD GIVE ME A HAND HERE.
Albert scrambled up and pulled at some of the huge volumes, finally dislodging enough of them to allow his master to clamber free.
Death picked up a book at random and read the cover. DANGEROUS MAMMALS, REPTILES, AMPHIBIANS, BIRDS, FISH, JELLYFISH, INSECTS, SPIDERS, CRUSTACEANS, GRASSES, TREES, MOSSES, AND LICHENS OF TERROR INCOGNITA, he read. His gaze moved down the spine. VOLUME 29C. OH. PART THREE, I SEE. POSSIBLY IT WOULD BE SIMPLER IF I ASKED FOR A LIST OF THE HARMLESS CREATURES OF THE AFORESAID CONTINENT?
They waited.
IT WOULD APPEAR THAT—
'No, wait, master. Here it comes.'
Albert pointed to something white zigzagging lazily through the air. Finally Death reached up and caught the single sheet of paper.
He read it carefully and then turned it over briefly just in case anything was written on the other side.
'May I?' said Albert. Death handed him the paper. '"Some of the sheep,"' Albert read aloud.
Also, Australian Spiders; a reference.
It says the continent has very few poisonous snakes . . . Oh, there's a footnote.' His finger went down the page. 'It says, "Most of them have been killed by the spiders." How very odd.']
Angua is standing amid the ruckus of birds cawing, and creatures crawling along and, sometimes, up the edge of the forest.
"I am not familiar with most of these animals, but that doesn't mean that I, or any of the rest of the police force, won't be available to help any of you out there. If you get trapped in a corner, chased away, otherwise unable to fight, or-"
Suddenly the birds stopped.
A branch creaked.
The drop-bear . . . dropped.
It was a close relative of the koala, although this doesn't mean very much. After all, the closest relative of the common elephant is about the size and shape of a rabbit. The drop-bear's most notable feature was its posterior, thick and heavily-padded to provide the maximum shock to the victim with the minimum shock to the bear. The initial blow rendered the prey unconscious, and then the bears could gather round to feed. It was a magnificent method of killing, since in other respects the bears were not very well built to be serious predators. As she stared at the bear on the ground, she missed seeing the one falling from the branch above her.
It didn't miss her.
Not one to be deterred from her goals, she continues, off-screen, her voice a little more muffled. "Or dropped onto, we are here for you. It's just that sometimes, here may be on the ground."
[/Video Post]
[OoC: Everything in green is text from Pratchett's The Last Continent, which you should read.
Death held out a hand, I WANT A BOOK ABOUT THE DANGEROUS CREATURES OF FOURECKS—
Albert looked up and dived for cover, receiving only mild bruising because he had the foresight to curl into a ball.
After a while Death, his voice a little muffled, said: ALBERT, I WOULD BE SO GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD GIVE ME A HAND HERE.
Albert scrambled up and pulled at some of the huge volumes, finally dislodging enough of them to allow his master to clamber free.
Death picked up a book at random and read the cover. DANGEROUS MAMMALS, REPTILES, AMPHIBIANS, BIRDS, FISH, JELLYFISH, INSECTS, SPIDERS, CRUSTACEANS, GRASSES, TREES, MOSSES, AND LICHENS OF TERROR INCOGNITA, he read. His gaze moved down the spine. VOLUME 29C. OH. PART THREE, I SEE. POSSIBLY IT WOULD BE SIMPLER IF I ASKED FOR A LIST OF THE HARMLESS CREATURES OF THE AFORESAID CONTINENT?
They waited.
IT WOULD APPEAR THAT—
'No, wait, master. Here it comes.'
Albert pointed to something white zigzagging lazily through the air. Finally Death reached up and caught the single sheet of paper.
He read it carefully and then turned it over briefly just in case anything was written on the other side.
'May I?' said Albert. Death handed him the paper. '"Some of the sheep,"' Albert read aloud.
Also, Australian Spiders; a reference.
It says the continent has very few poisonous snakes . . . Oh, there's a footnote.' His finger went down the page. 'It says, "Most of them have been killed by the spiders." How very odd.']
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I'm not going to let anything catch me by surprise again.
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god your keywords, I just noticed.
HAHA so appropriate
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