Voice | Backdated to the 21st

[deathstrumpcard]

//Filtered to Jezebel//

[He's still a little miffed, but his concern outweighs his annoyance.]

Doctor? Where are you?

Comments

[deathofdelilah]

Why do you ask? [Dodge dodge dodge]

[deathstrumpcard]

[Not taking your bs, okay?] Just tell me where you are.

[deathofdelilah]

I'm busy at the moment.

[deathstrumpcard]

...I see.

[deathofdelilah]

I'll see you later.

[deathstrumpcard]

[Yeah. No. He might've hung up but only because he's headed over to the lab now.

And no.

He's not going to knock.]

[deathofdelilah]

[Which is, of course, when Jezebel is busy trying to clean the gashes on his back.

He doesn't even need to look up from where he's sitting to know who it is. Gritting his teeth, he said:] I told you I was busy.

[deathstrumpcard]

[He doesn't say anything at first, just sheds his jacket and moves to take over the cleaning.]

When will you stop lying to me?

[deathofdelilah]

When you start listening when I say I don't need help. [He lets go of the cloth he was using before sighing, not looking at Cassian.] And I don't. I'm fine.

[deathstrumpcard]

This doesn't look fine. [He tries to keep his voice level with his next statement but is only somewhat successful.]

Nothing about this is fine.

[deathofdelilah]

[He can sense the restraint in Cassian's tone, and his own voice grows more level when he replies:]

This is nothing. It looks worse than it is. I can handle this.

[deathstrumpcard]

[His hand tightens on the cloth but he keeps his movements gentle, trying not to aggravate the wounds more.]

And what about when you can't?

[deathofdelilah]

I can handle anything I have to. [His voice sounds steely, because he knows, he knows what Cassian is thinking and he can't let things grow more dangerous for him.] I'm not afraid of pain or injury.

[deathstrumpcard]

Well, I'm afraid for you.[He pauses...because he didn't mean to say that. When he speaks again his tone is even again as if the outburst hadn't happened.]

You don't have to 'handle' any of it alone.

[deathofdelilah]

[Jezebel's eyes shut for a moment, because it pained him when he could sense Cassian's protectiveness edging onto danger for him.]

You don't need to be afraid for me. I don't want you putting yourself at risk by getting involved.

[deathstrumpcard]

You can't, honestly expect me to stand aside and do nothing, do you?

I won't...I can't. Not anymore.

[deathofdelilah]

[Jezebel inhaled shakily.]

And you can't expect me to just stand by and put yourself at risk for my sake. You've already done that enough.

[deathstrumpcard]

[He puts the rag down and begins patching him up.]

Don't you get it? There is no 'enough.'

...if you're in danger I'm going to do what I can to prevent you from getting hurt.

Protecting you isn't a job that can be 'finished.' [It's just what he did.]

[deathofdelilah]

Yes it is. It is when you've already died once and when you've already given up so much.

[His voice is trying to hold steady, but it's growing more difficult:] Don't you understand that I would much rather be whipped every day for the rest of my life than to watch you put yourself in danger?

[deathstrumpcard]

[He pauses, and when he speaks again his voice is more quiet.]

Don't you understand I would rather die over and over, be in constant danger, than watch you die again?

[deathofdelilah]

[Jezebel couldn't stand this. He shifted in his seat so he could turn to face Cassian, his hands going to his torso and his face wearing an expression that was almost a plea.]

You're being foolish. This...this is nothing. You have your life back again, and I will not let you put that at risk over something I am more than able to tolerate.

[deathstrumpcard]

[He was torn between yelling and pulling the doctor close. There were too many emotions.]

Tolerate? Jezebel, this is going to kill you!

[deathofdelilah]

[Jezebel's breaths grew shakier, and he leaned his forehead against Cassian's torso, close enough to feel his heartbeat pulsing under his riibs. He wanted to pull Cassian close to tell him to stop, to have him listen, but he knew all too well that Cassian's actions were well beyond his control.]

It won't. He has use for me. You told me when I died before it was to take a bullet for him. He's in no danger, so there is no danger for me.

[Which was a lie, he knew it was a lie, but he couldn't simply tell Cassian that it didn't matter what happened to him.]

[deathstrumpcard]

[He moved closer, careful not to touch any of the doctor's wounds.]

That was then...this isn't London or even Delilah. Things are already different just by us being here, he could still kill you.

[deathofdelilah]

He won't. He doesn't have anyone else, except Aion. I'm much more use to him alive than dead.

[Jezebel enjoyed the sensation of Cassian's closeness, the strange, warm feeling of him that made him feel safer even when he knew it was stupid to feel that way.] Please. Let this go. I like how things are now and here, at my father's side...and with you right here. Don't try to change what I don't want to be changed.