[ TOO LATE IT'S ALREADY IN THAT LANDFILL HE CALLS A MOUTH. ]
[ The charge makes his teeth sing and sparks an acrid tang of copper at the back of his throat. He lets a fraction of his own ability surge out to neutralize the zap. But otherwise he takes it in good part. Food was always serious business in Heaven's War. Hei remembers strident arguments with Amber, when he'd leave portions of his rations for Pai to eat. She'd warn him it was a tactical error. Everyone had to carry their own weight. Everyone had to eat enough to stay healthy. If he skimped meals, he'd be useless in battle -- and useless at protecting Pai. (The memories of that period in their life, the blunt frustrating struggle of it, piles up in his mind. He realizes it makes him feel a little better, this forced recollection of something besides Amber's sacrifice. They'd been capable of towering conflicts, fierce fights. Easy to forget now that she's gone.) ]
I wish it was that simple. [ He won't deny that the universe is probabilistic in nature. But accepting the reality of chance as a causal factor, isn't the same as accepting that any and all events are unforeseeable to the human mind. People may not not predict or comprehend the exact circumstances -- because they're finite and fallible. But that doesn't mean you can't always trace the exact influences to predict the exact outcomes. If there's anything Hei's learnt from Amber, it's that the triggering cause isn't the same as the determining result. The freedom of choice -- the direction of each outcome -- is in your hands. ]
[ His emotional antennae, always sensitive around Pai, catch the irritation. Oh. Not quite as serene as she seems on the surface. But somehow, he finds that more reassuring that dismaying. There's a beat before he says, very quiet and factual, ]
Trying to find a way to keep us together. For as long as possible.
action;
[ The charge makes his teeth sing and sparks an acrid tang of copper at the back of his throat. He lets a fraction of his own ability surge out to neutralize the zap. But otherwise he takes it in good part. Food was always serious business in Heaven's War. Hei remembers strident arguments with Amber, when he'd leave portions of his rations for Pai to eat. She'd warn him it was a tactical error. Everyone had to carry their own weight. Everyone had to eat enough to stay healthy. If he skimped meals, he'd be useless in battle -- and useless at protecting Pai. (The memories of that period in their life, the blunt frustrating struggle of it, piles up in his mind. He realizes it makes him feel a little better, this forced recollection of something besides Amber's sacrifice. They'd been capable of towering conflicts, fierce fights. Easy to forget now that she's gone.) ]
I wish it was that simple. [ He won't deny that the universe is probabilistic in nature. But accepting the reality of chance as a causal factor, isn't the same as accepting that any and all events are unforeseeable to the human mind. People may not not predict or comprehend the exact circumstances -- because they're finite and fallible. But that doesn't mean you can't always trace the exact influences to predict the exact outcomes. If there's anything Hei's learnt from Amber, it's that the triggering cause isn't the same as the determining result. The freedom of choice -- the direction of each outcome -- is in your hands. ]
[ His emotional antennae, always sensitive around Pai, catch the irritation. Oh. Not quite as serene as she seems on the surface. But somehow, he finds that more reassuring that dismaying. There's a beat before he says, very quiet and factual, ]
Trying to find a way to keep us together. For as long as possible.