[ He hears that gently chiding note in her voice. Wonders, how he can explain. That the war -- his profession -- have left him hollowed-out, his only means of negotiating the world reduced to alternating detachment and violence. People who haven't had that kind of experience -- civilians -- they don't understand. It's like they live in two dimensions and he lives in three. Each lull is just that. A lull. It's only when he's back on the frontline -- neck-deep in action -- does that fitfully drowsing part of him stir to wakefulness, while his surface persona melts away like a dream. ]
[ He can't say that. The disfiguration to his psyche -- that's his problem. A uniquely human one. He doesn't want it to negate her sacrifice. He's grateful for everything she did for him. ]
[ But more than that, he's grateful she's here. ]
Not just any cook. [ Almost dryly, ] A pastry chef.
[ Years of killing people with electric-shocks and blades. Now he's killing them with calories. ]
no subject
[ He hears that gently chiding note in her voice. Wonders, how he can explain. That the war -- his profession -- have left him hollowed-out, his only means of negotiating the world reduced to alternating detachment and violence. People who haven't had that kind of experience -- civilians -- they don't understand. It's like they live in two dimensions and he lives in three. Each lull is just that. A lull. It's only when he's back on the frontline -- neck-deep in action -- does that fitfully drowsing part of him stir to wakefulness, while his surface persona melts away like a dream. ]
[ He can't say that. The disfiguration to his psyche -- that's his problem. A uniquely human one. He doesn't want it to negate her sacrifice. He's grateful for everything she did for him. ]
[ But more than that, he's grateful she's here. ]
Not just any cook. [ Almost dryly, ] A pastry chef.
[ Years of killing people with electric-shocks and blades. Now he's killing them with calories. ]