Just settle with a network device linking you to a very merry bunch of often perfect strangers. Settle with the grinding tick in your head. Settle with the wards constricting your abilities. Settle with knowing nothing about anything. Settle with a calendar of days when you'll do things you wish you didn't remember in the morning. Have some popcorn.
Remember, kids, no one can stab you in the back if you stab them in the front first. Also, if you try to pinch me for not wearing green today I'll provide a free demonstration of the concept! Now let's all drink until we forget how lame St. Patrick's day is.
[Anyone who thought happy April was the norm/has never met April is in for a nasty shock, the shock of April's angry face shouting into her camera (and occasionally at passers-by). She's frustrated at trying to get through the day and lacks things such as any sympathy whatsoever. Also, the hippo is a mini hippo with a harness and leash, not really visible on the video.]
OH MY GOD. Can't I just walk my hippo in peace without tripping all over random people? If you're disoriented and want help my advice is DON'T TALK TO ME and just keep walking until you hit water and DROWN YOURSELF. [The video feed flickers off for a second and then back on.]
Oh, and don't litter. It's called a trashcan people. UGH.
[April looks...happy. It's bizarre. She's also cuddling a tiny hippo and holding it up to the camera.]
Say hi to everyone, Hippy. Look how cute she is!
[April makes the hippo wave and places it into a cardboard box.]
First we learn everyone's hilarious dirty secret texts and now we have these. I could get used to this whole curse thing. Except...I really want to keep Hippy after today. I mean, I don't have Champion here so I need a pet. Do you think you can teach a hippo tricks?
[Locked to Deities]
Hey. I read that you guys do trades sometimes. How much is a hippo? It's a really tiny hippo. I wouldn't even train it to eat people's shoelaces. Maybe.