[ The video feed clicks on, showing a room, a little dusty and not too large, rows of shelves filled with hats of all sorts along all walls. There's a desk in the middle, and it has Amy Pond pacing diagonally through it. ] Okay, yeah, but we gotta. Promote it somehow, right? Can't have a detective agency without clients, right?
Posters! [ There's a crash from somewhere off screen, before something is flung across the room. ] That's how they did it in the old days, massive posters. With slogans. We need a slogan, something cool.
[ The video doesn't pick up on Amy rolling her eyes, but it's obvious in her tone anyways. ] Posters, Doctor? Really? That's so— no. no. This is the 21st century, yeah? Or like it, at least. We should make a post on the network. [ Pausing just a moment. ] But we need a slogan, yeah. And a name.
What's wrong with posters? [ He sounds wounded, wandering into view, with his fingers curled around his braces, straightening himself up. ] I've always loved a good poster. Of -- what do people have posters of, anyways?
Posters are for teenage girls with crushes on movie stars or little girls who like ponies. Or boys who like cars or naked girls, I s'ppose. We're not gonna do a poster. [ All the frowning ]
[ Abandoning that in favour of tripping forward, crossing his arms over his chest and looking unimpressed. ] But I really wanted a poster. [ A sigh. ] Let's get on with this then.
Yeah, all right. [ Grinning now ] So. Hey City. You've heard, yeah? Detective agency, we need cases. We're— Pond and Smith? Smith and Pond? Detectives, anyhow.
And we are going to solve all your mysteries, big or small, weird and wonderful, strange and spooky. Just leave it to us, honestly, it's what we do.
[ — and the feed clicks off ]
[ Red is the eleventh Doctor, green is Amy and Pond and Smith is now open for business. Give them cases! Lost a fez? Searching for your pet pig? Want to know what your neighbour's cat gets up to at night? Or why there's a crack in your wall? Call them! ]