17 February 2013 @ 04:46 pm
This shit again? Fuck.

Alright, if you don't know the rules, that isn't my problem. Follow them or you get shot.

The end.
 
 
23 January 2013 @ 02:04 pm
What kind of shitty ass curse is this? Licking shit and getting stuck to it?

[He sighs.]

Everyone just starve and go thirsty for the day. And don't be a dumbass and lick people. You don't know where the fuck they've been anyway. Could get diseased and die from them or something.

[And he doesn't feel like cleaning that up damn it.]
 
 
21 December 2012 @ 04:51 pm
Alright, here's the deal. If you so much as fucking think of kissing my wife, I'll shoot you.

Otherwise, keep your damn lips away from me.

[A pause then...]

Oi! Gazelle. Make sure you tell me the names of anyone who gets a kiss from you. I need to make sure to shoot them in the face.
 
 
03 November 2012 @ 01:46 pm
Alright you shitfaces. I have the same rules as the last time you were here so listen carefully.

1. Don't piss me off. I will shoot you in the damn face.
2. Litter and I shoot you in the damn face.
3. Keep the volume down or I will shoot you in the face.
4. Be a jackass and I will shoot you in the face.
5. Touch my family and I will kill you.

Got that? I'm not repeating them.
 
 
22 October 2012 @ 11:06 pm
[When he finds out that there is a Circus, Kaito decides it's time for a date with his wife who can't remember that they're in love. Seems like a great idea.]

Oi, Gazelle.

We're going to the circus. Dress cute.

[He's a charmer, isn't he?]
 
 
19 September 2012 @ 02:59 pm
[What is a wedding without it on video! The blushing bride in a less than formal but cute 'wedding' dress, and the handsome groom in a nice, tidy shirt and a pair of slacks as both repeat 'I do' after the Mad Hatter's cue. Soon is the kiss. Gazelle bounces off the tips of her toes and wraps her arms around Kaito's neck to remove most the difference in height so they can kiss.

Once the kiss is done, Kaito is sweeping her up into his arms and grinning.]


Alright, you shits. Now we party.

[And now he’ll be giving Gazelle another kiss and who cares about who is actually holding this camera!

Gazelle doesn't mind being swept off her feet, though, and giggles into the second kiss. And as if that were not enough, she gives a quick peck to his lips right after for good measure...before pointing off to one direction.]


Ah, Kaito... don't forget about the cake!

[Because it's not a party without eating the cake, right? At least it isn't as far as Gazelle seems to be concerned.

On that note, the video ends as the party starts.]


(ooc: Finally Kaito and Gazelle's wedding day! Friends and wedding crashers encouraged to action this up good.)
 
 
16 September 2012 @ 02:06 pm
Text  
Dear dumbasses of the City

You are invited to not fuck up my wedding on the 19th of this month

Gifts welcome

Attendance optional

Bride - Gazelle

Groom - Kaito Wanijima

It's about fucking time we got married

The end
 
 
04 September 2012 @ 07:06 pm
So there's a wedding this month but we still need someone to marry us.

Who wants to be the one to pull that off? Don't care who it is or what your status is. It's not like any special kind of thing will change shit.

Storm King...get the fuck off, you're not marrying us.
 
 
09 July 2012 @ 12:02 am
[Kaito is standing on the streets in front of his building with a couple of very large speakers behind him. For whatever reason, he has a crocodile with him as well but since it's Kaito who is going to question it?

Well, he brings up a microphone to his mouth and draws in a deep breath.

Hope you're ready for this middle of the night announcement, City. Even if you're not, here it comes.]


Gazelle! I want the whole world to hear what I have to say to you right now!

I'm not letting you get away from me again and I got the damn ring!

You're my girl and I'm going to make sure that everyone knows that for sure! So marry me damn it!
 
 
04 July 2012 @ 01:06 pm
GET BACK HERE YOU ASSHOLE!

[Kaito seems to have dropped his device as he goes chasing after a random teenager. It looks like the teen will get away until...

Kaito shoots a firework from his mouth.

Wait. What?]


The hell? [He tries to do it again but nope...not working.] WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
 
 
03 July 2012 @ 01:52 pm
Alright, you shitheads, I need some information here.

Tell me where I can buy jewelry in this place. And it had better be expensive too. I'm not going to settle for cheap ass shit this time.
 
 
29 June 2012 @ 08:58 pm
Alright, you dumbasses. I have a few simple rules here.

[He blows smoke out at the screen.]

1. Don't piss me off. I will shoot you in the damn face.
2. Litter and I shoot you in the damn face.
3. Keep the volume down or I will shoot you in the face.
4. Be a jackass and I will shoot you in the face.
5. Touch my family and I will kill you.

Not get the hell out of my City as fast as possible. I didn't invite you so you're not welcome here, you pieces of shitty trash.

[ooc: Open to anything 4th wall related! Enjoy! (I know I'm a couple minutes early but oh well.)]
 
 
[After setting the filter (and putting Ikki on it because he doesn't trust him to keep his damn mouth shut), Kaito lights a cigarette. The lighter can be heard along with the deep breath that comes with him pulling precious smoke into his lungs.]

Alright, dumbasses. I have a mission for all of you.

[You can just hear the smile in his voice, can't you.]

Tell me where I can get a couple midget sharks that will stay small and can swim around a tank. I want information right away so none of this crappy stalling that you trash can sometimes get up to.
 
 
14 May 2012 @ 02:08 pm
[That's a rather scary look on Kaito's face. He even has his gun in view for all of you to see!]

Next person to hug me that isn't family gets shot.

No questions asked.

Got it?
 
 
04 May 2012 @ 02:53 pm
Text  
someone give me a cure for a hangover

now

fuck
 
 
04 May 2012 @ 01:54 am
Hahahaha! Whattttttt taaaaaa hell, mahn!

( the device has been left sitting on the corner of the booth’s table and it clicks to life on it’s own. the feed starts off with a rather clear shot of both kaito and ikki sitting at the opposite ends of the table. ikki’s fist slams against the table, the overwhelming pile of glasses stationed on top of it rattling from the vibrations. )

That’sssss not. . . Thhhhhat’s not how it goes at aaaaaaall! Yooooou—You, mister beeeead hair, can’t sssssing for shiiiiit!

C’mon, c’mooooon! Try it aaagain!


Shu’ up, Shtorm King! ( and kaito bangs his fist on the table this time then sits up straight and tosses his head back. )

It goessss li’e this. ( he clears his throat. ) Every dayyy pon! Every time ish pon! I wanna ride the merry-go-rounddddd. ( clearly this is the best singing ever and so on key... ) Every day pon! Every time ishh pon! Tha’s probably sush a good idea, is it? I’s okay for it to come popping out! If that ne’er happens, it ge’s going, doesn’t it? I put on my headphoooooones and get lost in the rhythm!

Hah! ( he leans forward as he laughs, before cutting kaito off. ) Way waaaay! Opppen upppp my paaaafth. PON PON—! All theeeese things keep going onnnnnnnnnn~! Can’t yaa hear it more annnnnd more? Your feelingggggs! Your feeelingss, motherfucker! Throwwwwiin’ it. . . out carelessly, whhhhhhooooo’s the brat nooooow? Hmm! Good, yaaa croc bastard! Yaaaa make me happppy~!

( there’s a good two solid minutes of slurred and off-key singing between the two of them, completely mangling a perfectly good song and the device records the whole thing, even the moment where ikki slides into kaito’s side of the booth, shoulders bumping. )

Wuahahaha! How the. . .How taaa fuck do ya eveeen knowww this sonhg?

Ish soooommme stuff Gazelle likshhhh. The fuck did mmmmmmmmmy lighter go?

( one moment . . . kaito starts fumbling about for his lighter, after slinging an arm around ikki’s shoulders of course. THEY ARE THE BEST BUDDIES, and the device clicks off as kaito's hand swipes it off the table. )


(( OOC: final post before I move into my new apartment! kaito is blue and ikki is royal blue! ))
 
 
17 April 2012 @ 03:25 pm
Fuck...

[Yes...that is how he is starting off this message.]


Gazelle's gone.

[And he hangs up. That's all he has to say.]
 
 
07 April 2012 @ 12:58 pm
[The video actually starts off accidentally. Kaito is in the graveyard before a mausoleum. He's studying a smear of blood on the ground just outside it. Then he blows out smoke from his cigarette into the air and heads inside.

Really the scene in there is quite beautiful. A young man kneeling beside what looks like a young woman who is bending over him as if to cradle him in her lap. Both are dressed in period costume for some kind of Elizabethan play and there's a bottle and a bloody knife nearby. Along with that, there's a bloody footprint on the ground.

And suddenly Kaito is looking pissed. The device falls to the ground but still picks up on the silver haired man walking over and kicking the young man.]


You fucking fuckhead. I only let him go with you because he was supposed to be safe and happy.

[Suddenly the light hits the faces of the fallen just right and it becomes clear that the Romeo is Ikki and the Juliet is Agito. Not only that but they're both very much dead.

Kaito kicks the dead Ikki a few more times before searching for his device. Realizing that it's fallen, he storms over to grab it off the ground.]


Alright, you fucker. The police are on this now. You are going down.

Police Filter )

Private to Akira )

Private to Kazu )
 
 
03 April 2012 @ 12:38 pm
[Kaito is grinning from ear to ear like the animal he's named after as he clicks on his device so he can talk to people.]

Looks like I made a hot woman during that curse. I even had that dipshit Storm King complimenting my tits.

Which also means that I have my sight back. The first thing I got to see what Gazelle at my side too. Couldn't ask for anything better. [He laughs then pushes some of his hair from his face.]

Oi! Akira! I still want that damn party.

And Dean, I'm coming back to work now. I'm done with this damned vacation.
 
 
30 March 2012 @ 09:29 pm
[Hello, Poly. There is a furious silver haired woman to be found on this end.]

STORM KING!

HOW DARE YOU HANG UP ON ME! I WILL ARREST YOUR DAMNED RETARDED ASS!

[That's right. This is Kaito. And he's a woman.]



[ooc: Replies will be made by [personal profile] boobsforjustice.]