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star trek xi - pavel chekov

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[Filtered to the Deities]

If I may discuss yet another exchange with you, please, I would be grateful.

[Public]

It is nice to have the City quiet again, but yesterday was too quiet. Why are people so reckless about what they lick?

[City: don't answer that question.]

The snow is good. It reminds me of home, but warmer, and with more sun. If we were in Petersburg, there would be less than eight hours of daylight today, and we would likely not see the sun for the clouds. The temperature would be maybe twenty below, Celsius, without wind--possibly colder. I think the Neva would be frozen by now.

This is March, April weather. Anyone who is cold now should be glad that the City is so mild.

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Less than eight hours? That's --

Wouldn't it feel a little gloomy?

You may stop acting. I made a trade; my memories are intact.

[ He notes, briefly, that Pavel takes the time to switch to a private line. This doesn't seem to be a prank. This is serious. ]

[ Very serious. ]

[ For a moment, his eyes widen. But it's conditioned reflex. He still in 'Li's frame of mind -- honest and helpful. The pleasant expression fades a beat later, replaced by permafrosted focus. ]

I see.

[ Perfect monotone. He's waiting for the other shoe to drop. Recriminations. Blackmail. Revenge. It's not often that he's been confronted by any of his own victims. Usually, he kills them. He should've taken greater precautions here. This is what he gets for being soft-hearted and careless. ]

[This is serious. Chekov now knows everything, including what he learned when hacking into Mao's server. It was a bit much to accept at first, but he has had several hours to digest this new information.

But it's not serious for the reasons that Hei might fear. Chekov isn't happy with him, of course, but betrayal outweighs anger.]

Why did you take my memories?

[ He could respond with either silence or obscurantism. He doesn't owe Pavel his reasons for protecting his cover. It wasn't personal. It was self-preservation. He's gotten used to the lack of empathy, the self-interest. Even the hollowed-out sensation he feels right now is just a gut reaction. A release of tension brought on by unpredictability. ]

[ He says, only, ]

It was a matter of business. Making sure what was personal stayed personal.

[Maybe it wasn't personal to Hei, but Chekov is taking it very personally. He isn't one to hold back when making friends; trust and affection are unconditional. Having that trust violated multiple times hurts and Pavel has no idea what to do about it.]

Business? Has it always been business, Li--Hei? The entire time we have been friends?

[ Indignation is hardly something he'd blame Pavel for. In his trade, Hei's been betrayed enough times. Professionally. Personally. But in each case, he'd taken the cold and systematic route. He'd perfected a plan. He'd laid out an agenda. He'd made sure that treacherous element could never play in repeat. ]

[ That's how he functions. An eye for an eye. But he doesn't know what Pavel plans to do. ]

What do you want me to say? [ No vitriol. Just dullness. ] You want a simple answer. A simple motivation. And there is never one reason.

[ He can't say it was always business. It wasn't. But he wouldn't call them friends either. He doesn't make friends. Just assets to collect and use. ]

[Hei overestimates Chekov's willingness to seek out revenge. In another life--in the universe inhabited by the alter ego created by December's curse, maybe--the boy believes in returning like for like. As he is now, however, Pavel has never felt vengeful. He hasn't had to; at home, he had managed to make peace even with those who bullied him.

This is new. It's unpleasant and foreign.]

I don't know. [Defeat. There may be anger somewhere, but it's buried.] Your primary motivation has been the use of my technological skills. If you had asked, I would have helped.

[ Buried -- for now. But anger is a volatile ingredient. It can flare at any time, unpredictable and illogical. Just when you think you've let it go, it resurges with blinding force. That, at least, is Hei's outlook. Based on experience and observation. Pavel may not be vindictive by nature. But Hei knows the danger of ruling out anything as an impossibility. ]

[ His expression remains in cold stasis. But at the back of his mind, deja vu sparks. This is like his confrontation with Nick, back at PANDORA. No politics or deadly infiltration here. But the theme is similar. No matter where you go, you'll never be free of your old life. ]

There was no guarantee you wouldn't have told others. Even if you'd agreed to keep it a secret. The right curse, the right questions -- and a nosy stranger could know everything. I couldn't risk that.

[ I'm sorry, he doesn't say. You were better off not knowing, he doesn't say. Discretion is the most useful skill you can learn in this line of work. But nothing prepares you for moments like this. ]

Edited (gdi typos Dx) 2013-01-25 04:53 (UTC)

[Talking to Hei is unnerving. He was still Li only this morning; having everything turned on its head in so little time is disorienting and Hei's sheer coldness is strange. It's as if Li is dead.

But Li never existed.

Chekov tries to read Hei: to pick up on some emotion, on something that remains unsaid, on any clue that would tell him how to proceed. It's a futile effort.]

What will you do now?

[This is said with some trepidation. Pavel knows what Hei can do.]

[ Hei likes to pretend Li doesn't exist. That he's camouflage to achieve a goal. But that's oversimplification. Every structure, even illusory, has a backbone of reality. Everything is made of layers. In many ways, 'Li' is one of Hei's layers -- minus the clumsiness and fluff. But in a profession of daily violence, he's grown so diluted, shrunken into something so tiny, that he's invisible most of the time. ]

[ Hei catches the anxiety in Pavel's tone. What will I do? Killing him is a null solution. So is re-erasing his mind, at this point. He could narrow out the boy's location. Corner and threaten him -- physically or otherwise. But that would just keep him on a resentful leash. He'd try to break away, any chance he got. This needs to be handled delicately, until a more long-term solution presents itself. ]

That depends on how cooperative you are. On how useful you can be.

[ He's a liability. He knows too much. But even liabilities can be expedient. You just have to know what buttons to push. ]

Useful.

[That word is full of resentment. He's supposed to be Hei's friend, not his tool to be used and discarded as he likes. Surely Hei isn't wholly different from Li. Chekov needs to believe that there's something of the person he has gone stargazing with left.

There's nothing to do but cooperate. Perhaps something of a friendship can still be salvaged if Pavel is cooperative--useful--enough.

Or is such a thing even worth salvaging?]

I will keep your secrets because, if you go to such lengths to hide them, they must be important to you. That is something I would do as your friend, not as your... pawn, or tool.

[ He seems so crestfallen as he says that word. Useful. Ironic. In the Syndicate, you're only kept alive if you're useful. You make allies who are useful. Absorb information that is useful. Surplus and superfluity are shorn off. Every operative serves as a weapon -- a tiny cog in an enormous, complex machine. Pavel should understand that aspect, at least. He's in a profession imbrued in rank and protocol. ]

[ His eyes calmly take in Pavel's face as he speaks. Keep your secrets safe. As if he has a choice in the matter. But let him think he does. Hei doesn't have to reveal everything to him. Like how closely he plans to monitor the boy. The wires and bugs he intends to plant. Little facets of a larger whole -- ensuring that this wildcard doesn't cost him the whole game. ]

[ (In a portion of his mind, there's a deadweight. He recognizes it as sadness. The regret that things had to come to this.) ]

I'll take your word for it. [ By which he means, No, I won't. He's as honest as the people he's learnt to deal with. Who aren't honest at all. ] But I prefer showing to telling.

[Oh, there are circumstances in which being useful is of the utmost importance. To be promoted in Starfleet, one must be as useful and irreplaceable as possible. When it comes to friends... well. It has never occurred to Pavel to choose his friends based on how useful they might be to him.

Somewhere, behind the hurt, Chekov's analytical mind is working away. Hei is a killer who wouldn't hesitate to murder, say, Lucy if he suspected Pavel was being anything but obedient. Hei doesn't trust anyone. There will be monitoring equipment; nothing Chekov does will go unnoticed. Undoubtedly, Hei will also create backup plans--ways to keep Pavel quiet if he talks too much. It would be simple enough to fight back in small, sneaky ways (locating and disabling bugs is child's play), but what would that prove? That Hei is right to mistrust everyone?

No. The best way to handle this is to show him that some people are trustworthy. Pavel is honest and he will prove as much.]

Then watch and I will show you by being quiet. [Trepidation is slowly giving way to curiosity.] Do you intend to make threats now to ensure my cooperation, or will you trust that I know what you may do if I betray you?

[The emphasis on betray is accidental, but telling.]

[ In the arena of friendship, as in countless other spheres, Hei's and Pavel's experiences will diverge. If Hei had grown up in an environment beyond warfare, if his life wasn't forfeit to the Syndicate, he'd choose friends based on no reason but liking them as people. Hell, he'd be free to choose friends at all. Instead he'd taken the tour of a very different life -- steeped in cruelty and deceit -- with very different lessons for guides. ]

[ He can map the journey of Pavel's thoughts, with close observation. It's a game of I know You Know I know, similar in scope to how he's dealt with other Contractors. But different too. Not many were geniuses. Not many were people he enjoyed spending time with. But he won't let either factor sway him from self-preservation. If Pavel actually proves he's trustworthy, Hei won't know what to make of it. (Is he planning something? -- Is he playing an angle? ) His mind is wired primarily on paranoia and self-defense. It'd take a lot to make him relax and trust. ]

[ Provided he ever reaches that stage at all. ]

Threats are redundant. [ There's a bite of Don't ask stupid questions in his tone. ] You're smart enough to comprehend your situation. Hopefully smart enough to obey accordingly.

[ Because anything less is unacceptable. Because you aren't the first friend I'll be forced to harm, otherwise. And you won't be the last. He says all of that, but not in a way that shows in his body. Just a telltale chill that creeps through in his gaze. ]

[It's the game they played during the curse in many ways and, once again, Hei and Chekov are playing by different rules. Nei's set of rules doesn't leave room for niceties like honor, loyalty, friendship, and trust.

Pavel's only plan is do what he deems right.]

I am more than smart enough.

[Hei's tone is biting, but Chekov is trying not to respond in kind. Perhaps it's only wishful thinking, but he thinks that he sees something in Hei's eyes, hears something in his voice--something regretful. Something that might border on apologetic.]

I will prove that to you.

[ Whatever Pavel might've seen -- a flicker of regret, maybe -- is gone a moment later. The coldness fades into a bland and impersonal mask. It's abrupt, like an electrical device with its plug pulled. Total flatline. But it's not deliberate. Just a reflexive wall against anything Hei is telegraphing. ]

I'll be watching.

[ In every sense of the word. While he can count on the tact or cunning of a professional, guarding against the spontaneity of a civilian is trickier. In some ways, he has to remain doubly vigilant. ]

[ He doesn't say any of that to Pavel. He simply terminates the connection. ]

Edited 2013-01-25 08:40 (UTC)

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