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metal gear solid - major raikov

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It was the most delectable object he had set his eyes on. So plump, red, and wet. Just looking at it made his mouth water. Jack pressed his lips against it, lapping up the juices, moaning at the intense flavor. He wanted more.

...

So he opened up the box and pulled out another strawberry.

[Raikov's just grinning when the video is enabled]

Oh my.

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[The fact that it says "Jack" and is coming from Raikov gives him a bad feeling]

... Did you seriously just write a fanfiction about me?

What gives you that idea?

Just a hunch.

Let's say for the sake of it that it is. What do you think?

It's weird. I don't want to read erotic-sounding stories of myself.

But it's well written, right?

Yeah, sure. Just don't do it again.

What.

What do you think?

That's totally not fair.

How so?

You can't leave it like that. What about the seeds, you know those annoying shits that get stuck in your teeth.

...

[TROLLING A TROLL POST, EH?]

He managed to swallow them.

Okay I get it. He don't spit, he swallows.

[He just... wants to cry]

[Don't cry it doesn't hurt. Much. 8(]

I'd like to find out, actually.

Whoa hey there are rules and stuff before you get to that sort of thing.

Like what?

Are you dating or just looking for a little fun?

Looking for fun.

Buy a drink and just ask.

[Worst advice giver okay.]

He already rejected me.

Oh.

I don't think that's going to work out.

But.. he's so beautiful..!

Hey. Make up your mind. Is this smut or what?

Smut? I have no idea what you're talking about.

Is that supposed to be a lie?

I could just be teasing.

[ all the staring. ]

3/10!

Bullshit.

You were asking for it!

How so?

Was that or was that not a lead-in?

If it was, how does it make it a bad thing?

For the punchline!

I think it was fantastic.

Yeah? How many people fell for it?

Quite a few!

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