( voice. )

[likeboudica]

I have not been cursed lately, but— it was strange to see many people here in clothes closer to those of my period than usual.

Strange, though not necessarily unpleasant. I may prefer the City, but my time is part of who I am, is it not? Being reminded of that is not a bad thing, I should think.

Comments

[candothat]

I'm sorry I did not see you during the curse. Is it more comfortable, when the City acts closer to your time?

[Truth be told, he didn't remember he had a house he could live in at the time (although he did know there was a reason he shouldn't be flirting so much with Misses Anna and Lena...).]

[likeboudica]

In a way, perhaps it is. Though I do like the way that people seem far more accepting. Morals have changed. I think for the better.

It is more familiar though, even after all the time that I have been here.

[candothat]

I hope that they have changed for the better.

Did you do anything of interest yesterday?

[likeboudica]

It seems like it to me? My time was far stricter and less forgiving even for things that did not hurt anyone. I do not see much value in that.

No, not truly. I drank a lot of lemonade, though.

[candothat]

No, there is little value in being cruel with no one is being harmed.

None that was made by Peter, I hope.

[likeboudica]

That is what I think as well, but I am not so certain that everyone from my time would agree. Though I do not think that they would consider it cruelty. Yet it is, isn't it, to call someone a monster simply because they are different.

No. [ A beat. ] I do not think that he likes me very much.

[candothat]

I would think that is cruel, yes. You do know that, in this time, no one thinks that you are a monster...?

[scoffs] He is very ill-tempered and doesn't like anyone. That is nothing personal.

[likeboudica]

I do know that. It is why I prefer the City to my own world, it is far more accepting. [ Most people don't think of her as a monster, here. She is getting to a point where she doesn't think of herself as one, either. ]

He does seem to like you.

[candothat]

Don't think too much on your world. Maybe you will be allowed to stay here. [He doesn't believe that, but it's a nice thing to think.

He does scoff at the last, however.]

Peter tolerates me occasionally because he thinks that I am foolish. ...Do you dislike it, having him live here? Sophie does. I have thought I should ask him to leave.

[likeboudica]

I should think of it, though, at least at times. Else it would be denial, would it not, and that would be nothing more than a beautiful lie. I do not wish to live a lie.

You asked him to stay here for a reason, though, did you not?

[candothat]

Tessa... [He's genuinely serious. It doesn't happen that often.] Would it be so bad to lie for yourself? As long as you know the truth of things and don't deny it completely, is a beautiful lie awful? I lie to myself, sometimes, but only to make every day easier.

[A shrug.] Peter is bad taking care of himself, I think. If he has to live alone, I thought, something in the City will kill him, or he will hide forever, and that may be worse.

[likeboudica]

[ Equally serious, though it is a much more frequent occurance with her. ] I have lied to myself, once, about the kind of person my brother was. It made things easier, certainly, but only in the short term. I would not wish to repeat the mistake.

[ A sigh. ] I do not think that it is bad, necessarily, to believe in something that makes it easier to live. But I also think that it is dangerous.

[ And then, more firmly: ] Those reasons still hold, don't they. So you should not ask him to leave. That Sophie and I do not enjoy his presence very much is not more important than his safety.

[candothat]

Is that the same as this? [He sighs--more dramatically than absolutely necessary, of course.] Dangerous, yes, maybe, but I think that it can be necessary. At home, I always tell myself that we will achieve the best outcome, even when that is unlikely. Sometimes a lie is the only thing between continuing to struggle and giving up.

[Ah, that is Tessa's do-not-argue-with-this voice.] You are sure?

[likeboudica]

I would not give up, Pavel. I am not— I just think that I should remember that I may one day have to go back to my world. It is not something that I can deny.

[ Same voice: ] I am sure.

[candothat]

You will go back to your world someday, and so will I. I just don't like to think about it.

[On a lighter note:] You will tell me if Peter becomes too burdensome?

[likeboudica]

There is, perhaps a difference between not thinking of it often and ignoring this truth. [ That's her offer of a compromise. ]

Yes. I would tell you.

[candothat]

I suppose that there is, yes.

Thank you, Tessa.